What is fear of sex?
People who are afraid of sex experience a panic attack at the mere thought of sexual intercourse.
What exactly the fear of sex is called depends on how specific the fear is. Thus, fear of sexual harassment is agraphobia. The second name for the disorder is contraltophobia. Fear of sex, precisely the very fact of sexual intercourse, is called genophobia, or coitophobia. These types of disorders are quite common and pose a serious problem for both patients and doctors, due to the specific presentation and difficulties in treatment.
Fear of sex occurs mainly among women, but some men also experience this disorder. The reason for the development of a phobia in women is traumatic exposure (for example, rape) in the past, and in men the phobia is rooted in adolescence.
There is no separate code in ICD-10 for this type of violation. Agraphobia is designated by code F40.8, which describes various unspecified phobic disorders manifested by panic and anxiety.
Before diagnosing yourself, you should be able to distinguish a phobia from fear. A phobia is a pathological condition that needs to be treated, while fear can be overcome on its own.
It should be understood that fear of sexual harassment, harassment and stalking by a man is an absolutely normal reaction for any woman. In this case, we can talk about pathological fear when a woman begins to have a panic attack at the mere thought of sexual harassment.
Fear of coitus is normal for young people. This fear is inherent in young girls and boys who have had no previous sexual experience. Here it is quite difficult to independently understand the line between anxiety and normal fear and pathological disorder. The reason for concern and consultation with a doctor is the constant postponement of intimacy with a regular partner due to the appearance of severe mental and somatic disorders when thinking about sex.
It can be very difficult to distinguish between excessive shyness and fear of sex on your own, not to mention how to overcome pathological fear. It is recommended to consult a specialist if you experience alarming symptoms and doubts about your mental health. It should be remembered that phobias are not the norm and require timely psychocorrection, otherwise they can lead to serious complications. Fear of sex causes a lack of personal life, the development of neuroses, depression, and social maladjustment.
The need for new love affairs5
Intimophobes - “revelers” are not always aware of their peculiarity. They feel like “free birds” or “cats wandering around.” Ultimately, they may even start a family with their “chosen” partner. But such a family is doomed to failure.
The dissatisfaction gained in the “shackles of Hymen’s chains”, the lack of “oxygen”, due to the lack of bright impressions and new lovers, lead to great disappointment and divorce. In some cases, an intimate-phobic husband or wife regularly goes to the left and distances themselves from their legitimate “other halves.”
Reasons for developing a phobia
An unsuccessful first sexual encounter often leads to the development of a phobia
Fear of sex is one of the severe phobias, the causes of which can be rooted in deep childhood. If a woman as an adult is afraid to have sex, the fear may be a consequence of:
- rape;
- a situation in which a man showed rudeness towards a woman;
- childhood sexual abuse;
- negative first sexual experience.
The most serious trigger for the development of phobia in women is rape. Coping with the consequences of rape on your own is very difficult, but few victims seek professional help. This leads to the development of severe mental disorders, including various phobias. Rape victims may experience pathological fear not only when thinking about sex, but also during any communication with strangers.
In general, the position of a victim has an extremely negative impact on a woman’s mental health. The cause of fear of sex or sexual harassment may be a situation in which a man has physically abused a girl. Domestic violence in childhood or marriage often leads to the development of a phobia.
A negative first sexual experience often leaves an imprint on future intimate relationships. A painful loss of virginity, a rude partner - all this becomes the reason for the emergence of a negative connection “sex-pain-fear”. It is very difficult to break such an attitude on your own; as a result, a woman will consciously refuse sex, fearing that sexual intercourse will only bring pain.
Pathological fear of the first sexual experience develops due to the specifics of upbringing. If a girl has been told since childhood that relationships with boys are bad, dirty and low, with age this attitude only gets stronger and leads to the development of genophobia.
Fear of sex in men is most often caused by one of the following reasons:
- lack of confidence in your own erection;
- fear of rapid ejaculation;
- complexes associated with the size of “manhood”;
- negative experiences in the past.
The fear of failure during sexual intercourse is one of the strongest in men. This problem can lead to refusal of sex or even deliberate avoidance of women. A man forms an association or attitude “woman-flirting-sex-lack of erection”, which becomes the reason for the development of a phobia.
Just like for women, the first sexual experience is very important for a man. If during the first sexual intercourse the erection disappeared, the partner laughed at the size of the penis, or ejaculation occurred very quickly - all this leads to a fear of coitus.
To combat phobias, women need the help of a psychologist, men – a psychologist and a sexologist.
Perhaps the most difficult problem for men is an inferiority complex. This usually goes back to deep childhood and adolescence and is closely related to the characteristics of upbringing. According to statistics, men who were raised only by women face this problem. Constant pressure from parents during puberty, when the child begins to learn about his body, can lead to the development of severe mental disorders.
Eternal freedom lovers3
Intimophobes are divided into two types. The first group includes very relaxed and sociable individuals. The common people call them: womanizers or frivolous women. Both of them love to communicate with representatives of the opposite sex, lead a riotous lifestyle, love to make new acquaintances and engage in promiscuous sexual intercourse. For them, a love affair is like a breath of fresh air.
The period of falling in love is filled with bright and positive emotions. But at the same time, constant change of partners is of great importance. They like the sharpness and novelty of feelings. When they begin to experience a deeper attachment to a girl or guy, intimate phobes immediately “disappear.” Or they move away from partners who don’t understand anything. They subconsciously provoke quarrels and disagreements in the couple, in search of a “way out of the situation.” They need to break the “love ties” that will sooner or later lead to the creation of a family. And a serious relationship is the main enemy of a person suffering from intimate phobia.
Symptoms of fear of sex
For women who have suffered rape, a random passerby in the dark can cause panic attacks and even fainting
Sex phobia is manifested by the following symptoms:
- panic attack;
- jump in blood pressure;
- cardiopalmus;
- chills;
- muscle hypertonicity;
- dizziness;
- growing fear.
In severe cases, the person may lose consciousness. Such symptoms may appear when thinking about sex, when seeing a man in a dark alley (typical for women who have suffered rape), or directly during sexual foreplay with a loved one.
Symptoms are the same for men and women. As a rule, all phobias have the same manifestations.
Subconscious bookmark for breaking up relationships6
Building a relationship with a guy or girl suffering from intimate phobia is very difficult. They need to feel personal space and freedom. Feeling pressure from the chosen one, they retreat here. They may literally disappear out of sight or withdraw emotionally from the “loved” person.
The “patient” feels comfortable and good only at the initial stage of the romance. When a love affair takes a deeper and more serious turn, a person experiences strong internal tension. He intuitively tries to build walls between himself and his other half. At the same time, the intimophobe provokes a quarrel or separation, acting on a subconscious level. He is not always aware of his feelings and emotions, trying to “push” the feelings deep inside himself.
Diagnostics
Fear of sex is a serious problem that requires psychological help, so you should not delay visiting a psychologist. The diagnosis is made after a conversation with the patient. The doctor will ask several questions, assess the severity of the symptoms, and be sure to ask about previous relationships and negative experiences in the past.
Based on the information received, the specialist can not only make a diagnosis, but also draw up an approximate treatment regimen.
Men are additionally recommended to visit a sexologist. The doctor will help you deal with the problem if it is caused by premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction. Despite the fact that the reasons for fear of sex are most often psychological, physical disorders should not be ruled out, so you should additionally visit a urologist.
The cost of an initial consultation with a specialist depends on the clinic’s pricing policy. On average, a visit to a psychotherapist will cost 600-1000 rubles, a sexologist – 1000 rubles, a urologist – 500 rubles.
Lack of parental love7
The cause of intimate phobia has its roots in a person’s early childhood. The vulnerable child was raised in a family where the parents did not give full attention and love to their offspring. Perhaps the father and mother treated the baby rudely or indifferently. As a result, the baby learned not only to hide feelings, but also to “erase” them from his soul. Feeling close to another person feels uncomfortable and suffocating. He, like a snail, wants to quickly hide in his shell and stick out his curious horns.
How to get rid of fear: professional methods
Hypnosis is effective only if the session is conducted by an experienced specialist, psychotherapist or hypnologist
Knowing what a phobia, or fear of sex, is called, a person should trust a doctor who will teach him not to be afraid of intimacy. Treatment begins with finding out the cause of the phobia. Since fear of sex in women is most often a consequence of psychological trauma in the past, it is important to work through past negative experiences with a psychotherapist.
After determining the cause and eliminating its influence on the patient’s psyche, it is necessary to direct all efforts to get rid of fear. Usually, in the treatment of phobias, the method of approaching fear is used, but with a fear of sex, this is unacceptable for ethical reasons. Treatment is carried out using cognitive-behavioral correction. During sessions, the psychotherapist helps the patient develop an adequate response to intimacy. This is a complex and lengthy process, so the patient should be patient.
Many patients benefit from hypnosis. This method allows you to get rid of old attitudes and determine the cause of fear. Hypnosis will only be effective if the session is conducted by an experienced specialist, psychotherapist or hypnologist. The procedure is carried out only in a specialized medical institution. When choosing hypnosis as a treatment method, it is important not to run into scammers.
Men need to undergo a comprehensive examination by a urologist, and only then begin treatment for phobia. An assessment of intimate health will help exclude organic causes of phobia, such as impotence or prostate disease. In addition, you should definitely consult a psychiatrist, since in some cases, fear of sex in men stems from psychological impotence.
In severe cases, drug therapy may be indicated. The drugs are prescribed when a person begins to have a panic attack even when thinking about sex. In this case, it is important to normalize the functioning of the nervous system and eliminate neurosis.
Solution
Your doctor can provide you with a medication solution to the problem. He will also prescribe a couple of psychotherapy sessions that will help get rid of obsessive thoughts and phobias. Taking sedatives will calm and relax you, giving you time to calmly think through your problems.
A hypnosis session will help you overcome fear. A specialist will help you enter a hypnotic state and find the root of all troubles. After a deep psychoanalysis, the doctor will eliminate the fear of intimacy.
You can independently develop a plan to eliminate your phobias. Try meditation, choosing the most relaxing poses for yourself. Immerse yourself in a deep state of nirvana, renounce earthly problems.
Try to distract yourself with a new hobby or get yourself a pet. A dog will help you put your thoughts in order and will be a friend with whom you can share your fears.
If you're suffering in the lead-up to your first time, try to distract yourself with movies and literature. Analyze in detail cases similar to yours. Try to talk about your fear with your lover, find a solution together.
Free love10
Intimophobia can be cured if you seek help from a psychotherapist. But the “sick” do not admit to themselves, much less to those around them, that they have problems. So they live alone, being disappointed in one or another relationship. A family consisting of two intimophobes can exist if the partners establish mutual rights: establishing each other’s personal space, guest or “free” marriage. Neither the birth of a child nor the abundance of mutual love can correct the existing individuality in the soul of a person suffering from intimate phobia. Timely help from a specialist can help the problem, but does not guarantee complete healing.
