Examples of reverse psychology
Reverse psychology is a type of persuasion.
It convinces a person to do something specific by asking him to do the opposite. This is usually an effective method of persuasion when a person makes emotional decisions instead of logical decisions. The funny thing about reverse psychology is that we do it a lot more than we think. Often we want something to happen so badly that we do the opposite in an attempt to bring us the desired outcome. Have you ever thought you were going to lose your job and were so frustrated by not wanting to lose your job that you didn't even realize that you would be happier without a job?
Confusing? But it's true!
Sometimes people go to great lengths to ensure that we don't realize we're doing it. Reverse psychology is a sneaky form of manipulation that leaves us dumbfounded when we get what we want.
Before we talk about the 4 steps to using reverse psychology, let's talk about a few important truths about using this method
Who is amenable to reverse psychology methods?
Jealousy in relationships - the psychology of this feeling towards each other
Manipulation, provocation, as well as harmless unconscious commands are methods of reverse psychology. There are people who are more inclined to react to this technique, others are no longer resistant.
Note! Reverse psychology will not work on those who follow their own habits, as well as the advice of others, i.e. an attempt to force a person to do the opposite action will be taken literally, and he will follow the instructions as intended.
On the other hand, rebels, teenagers at the peak of hormonal changes, as well as people guided by emotions will fall for the “more willing” trick.
What is important to understand about reverse psychology?
- Let's face it, this is a form of manipulation.
- Even if what you are trying to obtain is harmless enough, the method of obtaining it is actually manipulation.
- Whether you're trying to get your spouse to agree to see that movie you wanted to see on Friday night, or you're applying for a new job, using reverse psychology can be very effective.
- If you use a method in the wrong context or in an inappropriate way, imagine how awkward it will be when the person you are talking to realizes that you are trying to manipulate them?
- That's why it's so important to understand the motivation behind what you're trying to achieve and decide whether simply asking for something directly would be more effective.
- If you decide to manipulate, manipulate wisely!
More details about manipulations:
Now we're not focusing on manipulation, but we're trying to show you that reverse psychology gets a bad rap for a reason.
Methods of confrontation
The confrontation itself is contradictory - not succumbing to reverse psychology is both easy and difficult. Sometimes a person’s instincts, composure, and prudence help. Some attempts at influence look like a game of “weakness” - the interlocutor deliberately persuades the individual to take an action that he will not perform, which means that the first one will achieve his goal.
Note! In this case, it is important to control yourself and not make hasty conclusions and decisions.
It should also be remembered that interlocutors may resort to the opposite method unconsciously, so you should not rush and accuse them of trying to manipulate. You may have to learn the psychology of refusal, i.e. Don't fall for tricks at all.
Reverse psychology is a cunning method for one person to achieve his goal by forcing another to do so, and the latter will be sure that he is not fulfilling the request, but is doing the opposite. It works well for children of different ages, in relationships, and also in business. Often the technique has elements of manipulation and provocation.
Obedient and persistent people
The first thing you'll notice about using reverse psychology is that it doesn't work for everyone.
Generally there are two types of people: obedient people and persistent people.
Resilient people tend to be more judgmental, while obedient people tend to just follow directions without much thought.
If you decide to use reverse psychology, you need to decide what kind of person you are dealing with.
Keep in mind that no matter how hard you try, a person still has free will and can decide in any direction they choose.
Just because someone has leaned towards reverse psychology in the past does not mean that they will do so again in the future. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and have several methods ready:
You may find that someone who was predictable and compliant in the past has learned new lessons and changed.
Persuasion using reverse psychology
Can a man love and ignore a woman - what psychology says
It is believed that this technique is often used by girls who manipulate their lovers. Sometimes this is obvious, although if you learn this psychological technique masterfully, no one will notice its use.
Reverse psychology is often used in relationships
Reverse psychology is dangerous because its disclosure leads to mistrust. People will consider the individual who tried this method to be a deceiver, so it will be difficult to return everything to normal. If the technique works, you should not get carried away with it, otherwise it will stop working in the right direction.
Choosing to use reverse psychology
This is what reverse psychology is all about: we often use it on children to get them to do what we want them to do. Before you try reverse psychology tactics on adult men and women, ask yourself how it works?
If it is for the good of the person himself, which is almost never the case, then good; but, if you are doing it to promote your own benefit, then the person may naturally react!
Maybe being reasonable and willing to listen to someone is all it takes to get someone to agree with you?
And it might be worth considering that if they disagree, there may be a good reason for it. Think about how to get them to do something they don't really want to do. Of course, this is not your intention, but we often act out of self-interest and don't think about how decisions will affect us or others in the future.
Reverse psychology: how does it work?
Reverse Psychology was developed by Michael Apter. The man spent a long time studying various areas of motivation. The basis of reverse psychology is the concept that talks about the ability of people to switch from one state to another after simple verbal phrases. To change people’s opinions, you need to choose the right moment and correctly compose a phrase.
Reverse psychology implies that the manipulating individual says one thing, but expects to receive the opposite reaction. A similar reverse effect is noticeable in children's behavior. When parents tell a child not to do something, his reaction may be the opposite. He will want to do the forbidden.
When actions are performed correctly, people who are subject to psychological pressure think that the choice was made by them. The individual is deluded. The first times of using the practice of reverse manipulation require choosing proud people who have increased self-esteem. The reverse technique cannot be considered the most effective among other types of persuasion.
To protect yourself from the influence of manipulative people, you need to control your emotions, think through your actions in advance, and choose the best options for resolving conflict situations. It is important to take into account the consequences, observe the interlocutor’s reaction when making statements and questions.
Who does reverse psychology work for?
To effectively use the reverse psychology technique, you need to know who is more susceptible to psychological pressure. Types of people susceptible to manipulation:
- Rebels, hooligans. This type of people can be manipulated. Training lessons, instructions, advice are useless. A bully does the opposite to spite others. Behavior manifests itself in the actions of teenage children who are commanded by their parents. The child fundamentally does things against the will of the adult. But if a friend asks, the reaction will be positive.
- People who do things for the sake of fame, posturing. The individual will try to do everything contrary to the imposed, generally accepted principles. So he tries to stand out from the crowd. People of this type strive to achieve significant results in various areas of life and amuse their pride.
- People who do principled things. The type of individuals who go against existing principles, forgetting about the consequences.
Reverse psychology works great when applied to people who have a high ego bar. Those who have weak self-esteem are susceptible to the reverse effects of manipulation.
You need to understand that not everyone will do the opposite of what they are advised or told. Reverse psychology is useless for those who do not have their own point of view, they are used to following the advice of others. The practice of opposing actions will not have an effect on those who accept someone else's point of view and then present it as their own.
Books about reverse psychology
To effectively resist suggestion and manipulation, you need to have a good understanding of the theory. To become familiar with the theory and basic principles of reverse psychology, you can read the basic work of M. Apter “Beyond Personality Traits. Reversible theory of motivation." The author explains in detail why a person is so changeable and can demonstrate different behavior under exactly the same conditions.
You can delve deeper into the theory of relationships of the triad “adult - child - parent” in E. Berne’s book “People Who Play Games.” The author examines the features of relationships from the perspective of each element of this triad, explaining that each of us, regardless of age, plays one of these roles at different times. By understanding his current role, the reader can more effectively build relationships with other people: family, friends and colleagues.
E. Bern's second book, which is worth reading for anyone who wants to understand the “rules of the game of life,” is called “Games People Play.” It lists 120 popular games that people play and will play with you for the rest of their days, for example: the “Alcoholic”, “It’s All Because of You” scenarios and others. E. Berne also provides proven “anti-game” scripts that will allow a person to gracefully exit any games into which the manipulator drags him.
Reverse psychology is widely used in clinical psychotherapy, work, family and intimate relationships, politics, business and trade, advertising and various service sectors.
Only an experienced psychologist will help you deal with personal problems and interpersonal relationships.
Source
Reverse psychology between a man and a woman
Most couples use the practice of reverse psychology. The technique is used by a man or woman when they have a desire to get what they want. A woman wants to spend the weekend with her fiancé, but he is focused on spending it with friends. She is convinced that the direct form is useless and is going to act radically. She tells him that she is going to a club with her friends. In most cases, the groom will stay at home, refusing to let her go alone.
You can use the reverse manipulation technique if you want to marry your loved one. You can’t admit your plans, try to show the guy, it’s better to show that the girl is happy alone. Then the man will strive to keep the girl busy in order to avoid the appearance of competitors. When choosing a tactic, you need to know your loved one well. If there is a lack of information, a mistake made can destroy a relationship.
Reverse psychology in sales
The reverse manipulation technique is considered one of the main tools of marketers. You need to understand that a buyer entering a store is neutral or negative towards the seller. He will do his best to counteract any shortcomings. To effectively use reverse psychology in the sales field, you can use several basic techniques:
- When working with male buyers, female sellers often use the following method. If a man says that the product is too expensive, the woman replies that since he cannot afford an expensive purchase, she will look for a cheaper product. This technique works even better when the room is filled with women.
- Seizing the moment - people love the forbidden. The seller “accidentally” shows the buyer a product that is not on sale and says that it is not available to buyers for a certain period of time for some reason. To increase the chances of a successful transaction, you need to think through a plan of action so that the buyer believes.
- Take a vote. The buyer must independently rate the product. It is better to choose a system from 1 to 10. Most will give a rating of 5–7. The average rating indicates the neutrality of the buyer you want to attract. Tell the buyer - you expected a lower rating, the buyer will begin to list the points for which he gave an average rating.
There are other techniques using reverse psychology. Experienced salespeople know how to use them and successfully sell their products to different types of buyers.
History of development
The theory of reversibility was developed in the 70s by psychologists M. Apter and K. Smith. It is described in detail in the works “Subjective Experience of Motivation” and “Beyond Personality Traits. Reversible theory of motivation." Initially, the theory was practical: with its help, Apter intended to treat children with schizophrenia.
According to Apter, reverse psychology explains the duality of human nature: at the same moment in time, he cannot feel the desire to perform two actions that contradict each other. For example, dying of thirst in the desert, a person will not want to give his only bottle of water to a stranger begging him for help. Nevertheless, the same theory states that it is human nature to quickly switch from one polar state to another and back again.
In order to achieve the desired reaction, you need to:
- determine the most convenient conditions for manipulation;
- perform a series of actions aimed at encouraging a person to independently move into the state desired by the manipulator and make the decision he needs.
