How to help a man get out of depression: 9 ways

Features of depressive conditions in men

In men, depression has a mild symptomatic picture at an early stage of development. Even the man himself does not immediately understand what is happening to him. Depression in mood, changes in psycho-emotional state are signs that develop much later.

Symptoms that appear at first, such as sudden weight gain, inability to control appetite or its complete absence, increased fatigue, in no way indicate a depressive state.

Symptoms of depression in men

The clinical picture of mental disorders develops gradually. Common symptoms of depression in men:

1. A constant feeling of fatigue, up to inhibition of reaction and movements.
2. Decreased mental activity.
3. Complete apathy towards anything happening.
4. Deterioration of health, exacerbation of chronic diseases.
5. Changes in speech: it becomes slow, sluggish.
6. Excessive sleepiness.
7. Weight fluctuations for no apparent reason - a man can either quickly lose weight (even without changing his diet), or, conversely, quickly gain weight.
8. Disorders of the digestive system are manifested by constant constipation or diarrhea.
9. Frequent attacks of headaches. Painful sensations from the head spread to the neck and back.
10. Feeling of constant stress.
11. Unreasonable increased irritability, inability to restrain one’s negative emotions.
12. Absent-mindedness, inability to collect thoughts.
13. Reduced concentration.
14. Unreasonable aggression, anger.
15. A constant anxious feeling: a man is waiting for something bad to happen.
16. Impaired potency, decreased libido. Erectile dysfunction exacerbates psychological problems.
17. The appearance of suicidal thoughts.

One of the symptoms of depression in men is the appearance of various bad habits. A man begins to crave alcoholic beverages or use illegal drugs. Thus, he finds a way to escape reality, to create his own world within himself, in which there are no problems.

Depression

Men: the problem went unnoticed?

Depression in men often goes unnoticed. Learn how to recognize the symptoms. Don't waste your time.

Depression in men

Although clinical depression was once considered a “women’s disease”, in Ukraine every year about 6 million men suffer at least one episode of depression. Unfortunately, the stigma that everyone remembers that depression is a female disease leads to the fact that most men do not admit that they have depression and, accordingly, their disease proceeds without proper treatment.

In fact, depression affects people regardless of gender. It destroys relationships and affects performance and daily activities. The symptoms of depression in men are the same as in women. The most common symptoms are low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, indifference to once-loved activities, fatigue, loss of appetite, sleep problems, apathy, and sexual problems, including decreased sexual desire. In women, depression causes feelings of sadness and sensitivity. Men, on the contrary, become irritable, aggressive and rude.

Why does depression in men often go unnoticed?

There are a number of reasons for this. For example, men often deny the fact that they are depressed because they have to be “strong.” Also, some peoples believe that emotional expression of feelings is the prerogative of women. As a result, if a man is depressed, in most cases he will talk about its physical manifestations - for example, feeling tired - rather than about his feelings.

Does depression affect sexual function and desire?

Yes. Depression affects sexual function in men. Very often, men refuse to admit that they have sexual problems. Most people mistakenly believe that this is a physical problem, although the essence of the problem may lie in the manifestation of clinical depression.

What are the most noticeable symptoms of depression in men?

Unfortunately, symptoms of depression in men are not as easy to recognize as in women. Men do not tend to exhibit “typical” symptoms of depression, such as crying, sadness, disinterest in favorite activities, or verbalizing suicidal thoughts. In men, depression makes them want to hide their feelings. Instead of expressing depressed mood, men become more aggressive and irritable.

That is why most men, like doctors, simply do not notice that they are depressed. Some psychiatrists believe that if anger, blame, short temper, and alcohol and drug abuse were included in the list of symptoms, it would be possible to diagnose depression much earlier and, accordingly, promptly prescribe treatment.

What are the consequences of advanced depression in men?

Male depression can have devastating consequences. According to statistics, American men are four times more likely to attempt suicide than women. In 75-80% of all suicide cases in Ukraine, these are men. Although women are more likely to attempt suicide, men are more likely to result in death. Surely this happens because men choose more reliable means of achieving the goal, for example, instead of sleeping pills, men will choose weapons.

Why is depression so difficult for men to cope with?

Understanding how a man was raised is essential to diagnosing and subsequently treating depression. Very often, the appearance of depression is associated with traditional expectations regarding the role of men. Men must achieve success in the business field. They must control their emotions. They need to be in control of their lives. And these expectations may hide the true cause of depression. Men become aggressive and express anger - because such behavior is more acceptable in their environment.

Is there a stigma attached to male depression?

Yes. And often men are very worried about such thoughts. They prefer to deal with symptoms of depression by acting macho or drinking alcohol. This behavior, unfortunately, is still prevalent in male-dominated settings, such as the military and sports, where men are taught to be strong and endure pain. It is considered unacceptable to show emotional distress.

Instead of seeking help, which in turn would mean weakness, men prefer to abuse alcohol or even attempt suicide.

Does depression occur in older men?

As a man ages, he encounters a huge number of stressors throughout his life. For example, loss of income or favorite job. Many men find it very difficult to cope with retirement because they begin to live a monotonous life and do not have to schedule their day by the hour. This stress can lower self-esteem, which in turn leads to depression. In addition, the death of a loved one or relative, or the onset of a serious illness, can also cause symptoms of depression.

How do men cope with grief?

Men react to the death of a loved one completely differently than women. This may be due to the belief that a man must be strong in the face of adversity. Some men believe that by showing their feelings, they will show their weakness. Men believe that they are responsible for their courage and therefore suppress feelings of grief. Scientists believe that such behavior reduces the time available for a person to process grief and leads to complications such as increasing anger, aggressiveness and alcohol or drug abuse.

What physical signs indicate that a man is experiencing grief?

Physically, grief can cause high cholesterol, worsening ulcers, high blood pressure, and pain. Since most men are unable to express their feelings openly, they cope with grief by immersing themselves in various activities - for example, they immerse themselves in work or business travel - to occupy their free time. Men are capable of life-threatening behavior, such as driving fast or having indiscriminate casual sex. If a man suppresses his feelings of grief, this can lead to alcohol and drug abuse.

How is depression in men treated?

More than 80% of patients with depression, regardless of gender, benefit from treatment with antidepressants, psychotherapy sessions, or a combination of these methods. If you're not sure who to turn to for help, here's some advice from the National Institute of Mental Health:

• social mental health centers
• employee support program
• family doctors
• social family support centers
• health centers
• psychiatric hospitals and clinics
• local mental health centers
• psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers
• private clinics
• clinics at public hospitals
• hospitals at medical institutes

Causes of the disease

In men, depression does not occur without reason. The development of the disease is preceded by psychological or physical trauma and stressful situations. Often, a depressive state is associated with a fundamental change in life, when, due to some circumstances, it was necessary to abruptly leave the comfort zone, and the man could not mentally prepare for this.

There is also a seasonal cause of the disease, caused by autumn blues. In addition, a predisposition to emotional instability is inherited.

Psychological reasons

Depression in men in most cases is associated with emotional turmoil or situations with which it was not possible to cope morally. Common causes of psychological distress are the following situations:

1. Midlife crisis - occurs in men 35-40 years old. At this age, many men begin to analyze their past years and come to the conclusion that they could not achieve in life what they planned and wanted. Against the backdrop of dissatisfaction with your life, self-doubt arises. Some try to fulfill themselves through numerous intimate relationships, others become depressed and start drinking alcohol. Age-related changes in psycho-emotional background are more common in those men who have problems in the family or at work.
2. Depression after separation or after divorce - breaking up with a wife or girlfriend is a stressful situation for a man if the relationship was long and full of love and tenderness. This is primarily due to taking him out of his comfort zone. Confusion, lack of understanding of how to live further, how to improve everyday life are the main reasons for the development of psycho-emotional disorder.
3. After the birth of a child, postpartum depression is typical not only for women, but also for men. Husbands are overcome by thoughts that the wife will now only take care of the child and will stop paying attention to him. The emotional state is aggravated by fatigue due to frequent lack of sleep and the child’s cries.
4. In youth - when expectations and reality do not coincide, young people can fall into a similar state. Everyone wants to have a prestigious and interesting job, an expensive car and a country mansion. In reality, it turns out to be uninteresting and forced work with a minimum salary. And the girl she loves leaves because she has found someone richer. This is a common cause of depression in guys around 25 years of age.
5. Post-wedding marriage is not always a long-awaited marriage that brings satisfaction and happiness. The honeymoon cannot last forever; in fact, the man is faced with questions about organizing family life and financial security. The situation is even worse if for some reason the marriage was forced.

Statistics show that psychological reasons more often cause the development of depressive disorder.

Physiological reasons

Exposure to stressful situations or emotional shock is not necessary for the development of depression. The disease can be provoked by physiological causes, which most often are the following diseases and pathological processes:

• suffered a stroke, heart attack and other conditions that carried a threat of death;
• Parkinson's disease;
• development of diabetes mellitus;
• AIDS;
• gallstones;
• sarcoma;
• oncological neoplasm.

Diseases that carry a high risk of death or are accompanied by painful symptoms are extremely difficult for men to tolerate. Depression can occur as a result of hormonal imbalance, disorders of the thyroid gland and endocrine system.

Causes of male depression

In men, the disorder develops as a result of unfavorable circumstances or due to stress. The disorder is the body’s response to mental trauma or to some overly significant or tragic event that dramatically changes the usual way of life. In most cases, the cause of depression is severe or prolonged stress, because any stress in men is associated with psychophysical and emotional stress and a subsequent deterioration in their overall well-being.

Like women, every man has an exact cause that gave rise to the disease. Moreover, every age has its own problems, which have the most detrimental effect on the psyche of representatives of the stronger half of humanity.

Causes of male depression may include:

• in the absence of noticeable success and social achievements;
• problems in your own family, work team;
• dismissal, retirement;
• failures in intimate relationships;
• loss of a loved one;
• violent actions;
• deterioration of social situation;
• loss of finances.

The reasons for the formation of male depression can be not only external factors, but also internal ones. For example, this is an imbalance of hormones in men, which arises due to malfunctions in the hypothalamus, insufficient functionality of the thyroid gland, and increased work of the adrenal glands. An important male hormone - testosterone, or rather a decrease in its concentration in the blood, can also be the basis for the development of a depressive disorder. That is why depression in those men over 50 years of age often has a hormonal origin, that is, it is triggered by a decrease in testosterone secretion.

Depression in men can also be caused by abnormalities in the blood vessels of the brain, decreased blood circulation in it, injury or a neoplasm localized in the temporal lobes of the brain. If they are located on the right, then melancholy depression develops, and if on the left, then anxious depression develops. Other diseases can also cause the disorder, for example, neuroses, Parkinson's disease, diabetes, tumors, HIV, as well as alcohol and drugs.

Consequences of depression in men

It is important to understand that depression in men is not a whim or a desire to be surrounded by the attention of a spouse, children and other loved ones. Depression, if not treated promptly, can lead to extremely serious consequences.

More than 80% of men whose disease was not detected and treated committed suicide.

The disease destroys the life of both the man and those close to him, because families are breaking up. And women who cannot explain to themselves the sudden changes in their husband’s behavior can often themselves fall under depressive influence.

Depression in men and tips on how to get out of it

There are several aspects that men should pay attention to. These tips will help you survive depression and get out of it.

1. Men have the right to be weak

From childhood, all boys are told, for example, that “men don’t cry.” In fact, by doing so, people forbid boys to show not only weakness, but also their other feelings. Then, already in adulthood, when depression comes to a man who has suppressed emotions all his adult life, he will not know what to do. Moreover, depression will confirm the thoughts that no one needs him and that no one is interested in his problems. But you should understand that in this case asking for help is not a sign of weakness. This is a necessity. Depression is not a weakness of character, not an inability to cope with life's difficulties, but an illness that does not depend on your willpower or your character traits.

Of course, it is very nice for a man to feel strong and independent, but sometimes you can allow yourself to give in. And in such a situation, the most reasonable thing is to open up to another person and allow yourself to accept his help. This applies to medical care and help from loved ones.

1. Depression can creep up unnoticed

According to statistics, women are twice as likely to seek help from a specialist when they experience depression. The fact is that a fairly small number of women suppress their emotions, while almost all men do this. This is why representatives of the stronger sex understand much later, and even more so, admit that they are depressed. Even when a man feels that he is beginning to be overwhelmed by negative emotions, he will most likely try to escape from them into work, sports, or drown out his grief with alcohol.

1. Waking up late is normal

If during depression you do not sleep well and do not feel rested in the morning, and you also find it difficult to stay awake all day, this is usually due to depression. You are not lazy. You just need to rest and gain strength, because depression is debilitating. When you are sick, getting out of bed in the morning is a real challenge. The second test is to get ready and go outside. And the third is to smile at those around you and wish them good morning. Of course, no one wants to seem rude, but if you feel bad and just want to take a break from it all, then you can afford it. Close people will understand you.

1. People are not born gloomy

Interestingly, while depression in women most often manifests itself in the form of sadness, men also experience irritability and aggression.

1. Depression knows how to laugh

During depression, a man may have thoughts in his head that no one needs him, he is not successful, he is not beautiful. And that he doesn't deserve love. The inner voice that voices these thoughts is quite difficult to silence. Some men try to get rid of it through intense exercise, or, conversely, overeating. Some turn to alcohol.

However, this can be worked in another way. Know your worth! Think about it, if someone stranger says such words to you, you won’t tolerate it, will you? The voice of depression is also alien. Don't let him insult you.

1. You can cancel plans

Depression is often accompanied by manifestations of social phobia. It is at such moments that it is better for a person to be alone or surround himself only with close friends. However, a man may be afraid that if he does not pay due attention to his loved ones, friends and colleagues, he will lose their favor. But remember that depression is a disease. For example, when you have a cold, you don't go out wearing light clothes, right? It's the same with depression. Allow yourself to be alone if you want.

Of course, you shouldn’t abandon all your plans. You can explain to your friends that crowded parties are not the best place for you right now. However, you will be glad if they agree to just watch a movie together and talk. This can be fun too.

1. Small steps are the path to success

During depression, it is quite difficult to imagine a happy future. Moreover, when someone says that things will get better, these words irritate rather than calm, because it is difficult to believe in them. A good solution is to start planning in small steps. For example, think of something good you can do for yourself today. Make positive plans for the near future, and it will make you feel better, you'll see!

1. Not wanting sex is common with depression

During depression, men not only experience low self-esteem, but also a lack of energy. This can cause a lack of sexual desire, as well as erection problems. It is important to understand that this is just a symptom of the disease that will go away after treatment.

1. No need to run away from problems

When you are depressed, it is very difficult to be active, and often you just want to close yourself in your own little world and not interact with the outside world. You have the right to this, but sometimes communicating with other people is simply necessary, because this is the path to healing. It is important to understand that you and depression are not one thing. She doesn’t need communication, but you need support and understanding.

1. You have the right to be sad

Many people don't understand that when you're depressed, you don't need to force a person to cheer up or stop moping. Such advice for depression only harms. The main thing is to understand that you are not a whiner, but simply have the right to be sad. Depression will pass and you will be the same as before.

Treatment

Depression in men is treated comprehensively. Therapy includes taking medications aimed at correcting the psycho-emotional state of a man. The help of a psychotherapist is also required to identify the causes of depression and prevent its recurrence. A man is required to radically change his lifestyle.

Drug treatments

Drug therapy includes the following groups of medications:

1. Antidepressants help improve mood, equalize the psycho-emotional state, normalize appetite and sleep.
2. Mood stabilizers—used when depression is caused by other mental illnesses, such as bipolar disorder.
3. Tranquilizers - relieve anxiety, normalize sleep, eliminating insomnia. Used at the initial stage of therapy, strictly with a short course of administration.
4. Vitamins and mineral complexes have a positive effect on the central nervous system, protecting it from the destructive effects of emotional changes.

Depending on the severity of the clinical case, one or several therapeutic groups are prescribed. Vitamins and mineral complexes are included in the mandatory therapeutic course.

Psychotherapy

Sessions with a psychotherapist can be individual or group. The treatment course begins with individual consultations with a specialist, during which the psychological causes of the development of this condition are determined and work is carried out to correct them.

Only after this can you attend group classes, which bring together people with similar problems who have managed to solve them.

Other methods

Following a diet based on products of plant origin (fruits primarily, as well as vegetables, nuts, seaweed), which are necessary for normal brain function and maintaining high-level health, will help restore emotional stability.

Sports and physiotherapeutic procedures strengthen the body and spirit, improve immunity and increase the body's resistance to stressful situations. Many people have been able to overcome depression on their own with the help of sports, because... found a hobby and an incentive to move towards new achievements and victories.

How to get out of depression on your own?

A man can fight depression on his own by following simple advice from doctors:

• good sleep;
• giving up alcohol and smoking;
• regular sports;
• leading an active life, even if you are not in the mood for it, you need to walk, visit public places, make forays into nature;
• maintaining a proper diet.

A man must begin to show interest in life, force himself to move, do work, and establish family and friendly relationships.

HOW TO HELP A MAN GET OUT OF DEPRESSION

Sadness, irritability, over-criticism, feelings of hopelessness and guilt, lack of enthusiasm and interest, loss of concentration, trouble sleeping - these could all be signs of depression in your partner or friend.

Not only the man himself suffers from it, but also his close people - the relationship begins to suffer. How to talk and communicate in this case?

1. Don't say: “Everything will be fine” or “Look how beautiful the world around you is.”

A man with depression may have a long list of reasons why the world is imperfect and life is unfair. If you are not depressed, this may be difficult for you to understand and agree with. There may be a desire to convince your partner that everything is fine. However, this method usually does not work. Instead, try to be there more often and listen to the man.

1. Don't ask, "Why?"

Do not try at any cost to get to the bottom of the cause of depression. Showing interest in a man's feelings is good, but you don't need to be overly curious or intrusive. Try to talk more when you really need it.

1. Don't blame

Sometimes a man deliberately attracts attention to himself (even to the point of suicidal attempts), but at the same time he can undeservedly blame himself even for what he has nothing to do with. He can, on the contrary, hide his thoughts and plans so as not to burden anyone with his problems. If a loved one is not the cause of depression, he can help cope with this illness.

1. Offer professional help

This needs to be done on time and not at the moment of conflict (the advice “It’s time for you to get treatment” will only make things worse). Depression can be treated with psychotherapy. If it is difficult for a man to immediately contact a specialized specialist, you can first go to a therapist.

Prevention

To never face the problem of depression, you need to lead an active lifestyle, eat right, and not have bad habits. This will help strengthen the immune system, and the body will be able to withstand stressful situations. A simple and easy attitude to life, without self-flagellation and searching for those who are to blame for life’s failures, is the secret of how to avoid depression.

It is important to appreciate what you have now, not to dwell on the past and not be afraid of the future. Everything that happens in life has its reasons, and changes for the better always come, even if you don’t believe it at first.

Life situations that lead to problems

According to statistics, the most common cause of the development of short-term and long-term depressive states in men is precisely unwanted and negative life situations. Most often, mental health begins to deteriorate:

1. After divorce. Male and female depression often develops in both those who have been abandoned and those who have abandoned. After a divorce, regardless of its reasons, many men are faced with loneliness, the need to independently manage their lives, a complete lack of support from a loved one, and the inability to communicate with children, because... They are usually left with their mothers. Almost always, divorce is a psycho-emotional shock, even if in the first days or weeks the person does not feel it at all, and he himself wanted to leave.
2. After the breakup. In some cases, after breaking up with their girlfriend, men develop much deeper depression than in the case of divorce. Moreover, it can last for more than one month, and even more than one year, gradually turning into a deeply chronic form. After a breakup, representatives of the stronger half of humanity may have problems with alcohol abuse, drugs, and promiscuity, which never leads to anything good.
3. Middle age crisis. A common cause of long-term depression in men aged 30 to 40 years, getting out of it is extremely problematic. Many people do not even try to deal with such mental disorders at this age, consoling themselves with alcohol, computer games, and drugs. A person’s behavior changes noticeably: increased irritability and even aggressiveness, indifference to his wife and children, lack of career aspirations, etc. may appear. A good psychotherapist can help in this case.
4. From my youth. In recent years, many young people experience depression between the ages of 20 and 25. Factors that provoke such mental disorders can be: lack of an apartment and a car, lack of funds, problems with parents, absence of a beloved girl, and much more. At this age, coping with depression is not very difficult even on your own.
5. After the birth of the child. Postpartum depression is a common diagnosis among the average new mother. This disease can last for more than one month. But few people know that similar mental health disorders after the birth of a child can also be observed in men. A person needs to get used to the role of a father, take on new responsibility, and realize everything that happened. Often young people cannot cope with this, they develop hidden mental disorders, they begin to drink alcohol and even run away from home for a while. If a wife notices her husband’s restless state, then she needs to devote time to him, talk calmly, explain and discuss everything, and not spend all her free time with the child. Communication in such a situation will be the best treatment.