Empathy - the ability to empathize and understand others greatly facilitates communication, opening up opportunities for long-term and easy communication.
The term empathy has Greek roots, the literal translation means “feeling”, “suffering”. At the beginning of the 20th century, Titchener introduced this concept into psychology. Empathy is an intuitive understanding of the experiences of another person, the ability to take the place of the interlocutor, to feel the same as he does. But at the same time, the empath, as a rule, realizes that this is not his “pain,” “fear,” or “joy.” In other words, an empath is able to look at a situation through the eyes of another person and “read” the emotional state of others.
Difference from sympathy
Empathy and sympathy are similar concepts, but still differ in essence. The first implies understanding and “trying on” the feelings of another person, and at the same time the ability to assess the situation from the outside, to separate from oneself. Sympathy is showing attention to another person’s emotions and problems, experiencing the same feelings without the opportunity to look at them from the outside. It is sympathy that underlies the fact that doctors refuse to treat loved ones. It can prevent you from making the right decision and objectively assessing the situation.
What qualities define an empathic person?
The ability to empathize is developed differently in all people. Some people are completely “involved” in the problems of their interlocutor, while others look at them objectively, without getting emotionally involved. How a person expresses feelings, what range they can experience depends on emotional intelligence and has no rational explanation. First of all, an empath is characterized by a sincere interest in the emotional state, problems, and fears of another person. The following main characteristics of empaths can be identified:
- experiencing emotions similar to those experienced by the interlocutor,
- the ability to accept other people's opinions,
- intuitive understanding of the state and feelings of the interlocutor,
- ability to try on the roles of other people,
- the ability to look at and evaluate a situation from another person’s perspective.
The manifestation of empathy depends not only on emotional intelligence, but also on other personality traits and the level of its development. So the ego, due to its obsession with itself, cannot empathize with others. A person with a low level of intelligence, including emotional intelligence, is able to draw incorrect conclusions about the situation and misinterpret the feelings of the interlocutor. As a rule, empaths are people with a high level of development of spiritual and intellectual abilities. A person endowed with empathy is able to empathize not only with real people, but also with the characters of books and films. Empaths can be divided into:
- weak,
- functional,
- professional.
The former perceive the emotions of others well, but poorly control their own. Because of this, they suffer from stress or emotional overload. Functional empaths are not only good at understanding the feelings of others, but they are also able to control their own without becoming overly involved in a situation. Professional – they perfectly determine the state of their interlocutor, are able to analyze and manage emotions.
What role does empathy play in communication?
Research has shown that empathy affects a person’s level and quality of life. Individuals with a higher level of empathy are more successful and achieve their goals more easily.
Such people build their careers faster, have more friends, and have a stronger family. After all, the ability to understand people makes a person more benevolent; he does not need to manipulate his loved ones (or colleagues). Empathy helps not only in personal relationships, but also in business ones. It greatly facilitates negotiations. The ability to hear your partner and demonstrate that you understand your opponent helps you find a way out of a conflict situation much faster. For people of art, well-developed empathy helps in creativity. It is easier for actors to get used to the role and understand the character, for writers to describe the character traits of the hero and the motives for his actions.
Types and forms
To better understand the phenomenon of empathy, Titchner proposed the following classification:
- emotional,
- cognitive,
- predical.
These species are closely related to each other and, as a rule, do not exist separately. Emotional empathy refers to the ability to perceive and imitate the emotions of others. The person is ready to respond to the feelings of the interlocutor. Unity occurs when one person understands another. His counterpart feels sincere attention. This leads to the release of emotional stress and helps resolve the problematic situation. Cognitive empathy is not only an understanding of the feelings of another, but also the ability to analyze these feelings and thoughts, find the reasons that led to this state and ways to get out of it. This type of empathy is at the core of psychological care. Predicative empathy is understood as the ability not only to feel and analyze the emotions of another person, but also to predict his reactions in a given situation. This skill is invaluable in resolving conflicts and quarrels.
Psychologists distinguish the following forms of empathy:
- empathy,
- sympathy.
- Empathy is a situation when a person experiences the same feelings as the interlocutor (the hero of a film, book).
- Sympathy implies that a person develops personal feelings for his counterpart and his problem (sympathy, pity).
- For example, when watching a movie, an empath may cry with the hero and this will be empathy, or begin to feel sorry for him, which will already be sympathy.
- Or, when in a conversation with a friend the latter feels angry at someone, the empathetic empath will also get angry, the sympathizer will try to calm him down, while expressing his emotions.
Levels of empathy
In psychology, there are four levels of empathy. They differ in the degree to which they are interested in other people's feelings and the extent to which they show empathy and compassion.
Levels of empathy:
- elevated,
- high,
- normal,
- short.
Elevated. People with this level of empathy, delving into the problems and emotions of others, cease to separate them from their own. They are too impressionable and vulnerable, sometimes they understand others better than themselves, and often experience an unreasonable feeling of guilt. This leads to emotional overload and increased anxiety.
Psychologists call this state affective empathy. A person who has learned to cope with his increased empathy and control himself will be able to achieve great heights in the field of psychology, PR, marketing and other areas.
High. A person understands well the experiences of others, but is not overly involved in them. These are delicate people who sincerely and warmly relate to family and friends, are sociable and live an active social life. It happens that people with a high level of empathy are somewhat dependent on public opinion and need constant approval of their actions.
A normal level of empathy is typical for most people. A person with a normal level of empathy understands the feelings of others, but remains indifferent to them. The exception is family and friends.
Short. Individuals with a low level of empathy are unable to look at a situation from a different angle and consider their point of view to be the only correct one. These are people focused only on their problems. They are not comfortable communicating with others. As a rule, anti-empaths have a narrow social circle and practically no friends.
What is empathy in psychology?
Empatheia is translated from Greek as sympathy. In psychology, empathy is a conscious understanding of the inner world or the emotional state of others. Empaths are people who have the ability to determine the mood of their interlocutors.
If you want to understand what empathy is in communication, you should take into account the characteristic feature of the gift - the diversity of emotions: an easy response or a deep immersion into the inner world of people. The mechanism of empathy is not fully understood; it is believed that mirror neurons are responsible for its manifestation.
Examples of empathy
You can empathize in different ways, because situations in life are completely different from each other. At the same time, it is worth distinguishing pedagogical skills from psychological ones:
- Psychologist is an empath. When talking with a patient, he determines his emotional state, carefully listening to problems, and providing increased attention.
- The teacher is an empath. When working with children, he is able to delve into the needs, feelings, and personal characteristics of children, without challenging their point of view, but only unobtrusively guiding them on the right path.
- The actor is an empath. The profession obliges you to get used to the role, portraying characters with all their feelings, emotions, and experiences. This is a kind of acting, but the audience begins to believe, tracking the behavior on the screens, in the theater.
Types of empathy
The perceptual side of communication in psychology
There are 4 types of empathy:
- The emotional form of empathy is a person’s ability to reproduce the mechanism of mental infection. It is strongly expressed in people with a sensitive nervous system, who perceive emotional signals transmitted by their partner through various senses. People prone to the psycho-emotional form of empathy suffer from excessive sensitivity and nervous overload.
- Cognitive type. The ability to empathize with another person through intellectual processes is called rational empathy. Sensations are based on comparison, analogy, association with previously experienced situations. A person, considering the behavior of a partner, remembers a similar situation and experiences close feelings. The effectiveness of rational empathy is determined by the richness of the individual's emotional experience.
- Aesthetic empathy - a definition in psychology gives the concept of penetration with an artistic image, an object that evokes an aesthetic reaction.
- Predictive empathy manifests itself as the ability to predict the reactions of another person in specific cases.
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A few facts about empathy
Empathy can be emotional , when you internally live, feel what another is feeling, and cognitive , when you remember yourself in a similar situation, your emotions and feelings, and can assume what this person is feeling now.
Empathy does not make you kind, understanding and accepting. Rather, it makes you an adult, takes off your rose-colored glasses. You understand the feelings of other people and how you feel about these feelings, how you yourself feel about this topic.
And finally, empathy boosts emotional intelligence. Reading books on emotional intelligence is great, but practicing it is even better.
There are 3 positions regarding empathy.
1. “Empathy is an important mechanism, I use it/try to use it.”
This position is close to me.
2. “What kind of empathy, what am I doing to them, mom? Am I going to ask how they are doing? I give them a task, and they must carry it out. What happens there doesn’t concern me at all.”
With this position, it is natural for us to set a task and leave. People are perceived as resources. The position is closer to me when you see people as people and know how to interact with them and highlight what is important to them, what motivates them. Where you need to soften the “ardor” a little, and where, on the contrary, you need to “ignite”. Then the work can be done more efficiently and effectively.
3. “Actually, there are people without empathy. Maybe I am like that. Maybe I don't have empathy."
Of course, there are people with very low empathy. But these are people with a certain type of disorder that is rarely encountered in everyday life. Therefore, if you take the position that you do not have empathy, perhaps it is poorly developed in you, insufficiently.
Or, perhaps, you don’t want to turn it on, you’re experiencing difficulties. You don't want to handle it, because then you will feel what the other person feels, think about him. And you will have to ask him about something, interact... And this is so “boring, difficult... it’s better to set a task and leave.”
Levels
Pink color in psychology - what it means for a person who has a craving for it
There are 4 levels of empathy that characterize a person’s ability to sympathize:
- A low level is characteristic of people who are focused on their own feelings and emotions. It is difficult for them to feel the feelings of their interlocutor. Emotionally callous people isolate themselves from others and narrow their social circle.
- The average level determines the ability to understand the partner’s experiences, but remain indifferent to the problem. Only close people will make an individual sincerely sympathize and help.
- A high level of empathy makes it possible to understand the emotions of others without projecting them onto yourself. Those with a high level of empathy are sociable and easily make contact, expecting similar manifestations from those around them.
- An increased degree of empathy most accurately defines what empathy is in psychology; the gift of rare people lies in the ability to experience other people’s emotions in a similar way to their own. This trait provokes many problems in life due to vulnerability and feelings of guilt. If a person learns to cope with an increased degree of empathy, he will become an excellent physician or psychologist.
Developing Empathy
There are several levels of empathy, and learning to develop conscious empathy is possible, but very difficult for those who have not mastered it before. It is impossible to turn the world upside down and change in an instant by starting to feel everything. This requires sufficient time to change beliefs and develop conscious empathy.
The feeling of empathy does not refer to simple feelings and experiences. This is complete understanding, as well as awareness of the sensations that seem to be happening to you. The peculiarities of emotional empathy lie in the sensation of the subtle world of a completely alien life.
Developing empathy involves several levels. The first level is marked by the ability to highlight emotional gestures and notes. The tone of the voice can tell you what state a person is in and what he is feeling. This level shows the ability to accurately focus on a person’s emotional state.
Understanding empathy involves shifting the sensory world of sensations onto oneself. This is difficult to learn. To do this, you need to study facial expressions, body movements, and voice timbre. Start practicing on acquaintances, friends, first people you meet. Notice any little things: a hair on your jacket, untidiness, makeup on your face, hairstyle. This can tell a lot about a person. Master this skill.
The second level of training includes mastery of certain skills. This level is more difficult; it is important for students to transfer onto themselves the habits, sensations, body movements, and timbre of voice of the object that you need to feel. For easier integration into the image, a strong emotional reaction is required. It is important to carefully observe the person and imagine that you are him. Having merged with him completely, you can predict in advance what he will do. You will be able to live his life without thinking or judging what is wrong. You will become one with him and will experience the same emotions as him: love, pain, disappointment. This is difficult to learn, but possible. An empath eventually perceives the other person's feelings as their own. And these feelings are different.
The third level of training allows you to turn into a true empath. Empaths are able to not only feel other people's experiences, they know how to manage this state. The first possibility is the ability to quickly remove yourself from a negative state. The second comes down to the ability to bring your interlocutor out of a negative state. An empath has the ability to influence emotions.
Developing empathy makes it possible to communicate with people with ease and understanding. There are pros and cons to developing empathy. On the one hand, a person begins to understand people, and on the other hand, he turns into a more sensitive person, who is difficult for his interlocutor to resist in conflict situations.
Psychological mechanisms of empathy
Psychic contagion
The mechanism of psychological contagion arose with the dawn of evolution as a mutual exchange of emotions in a group of individuals or individuals. In people, the mechanism is clearly visible with infectious laughter or dull irritation in crowded transport. The function makes people intuitively understand what changes in a partner’s facial expressions, heart rate, breathing, and sweating can mean.
Identification
Identification is the ability to imagine oneself in the place of another person. The main condition for successful identification is one’s own experience. Example - a teacher can imagine himself in the student’s place and feel the opponent’s state based on relevant experience. The student does not identify with the teacher because he has never been in his shoes.
Important! Lack of identification is often a consequence of the cruelty of children, the callousness of successful, prosperous people.
Manifestation of identification in children
Decentration and reflection
Decentration is empathic abilities based on accepting someone else's point of view. Do not agree, but consider the issue from someone else’s position. The need for a mechanism is caused by a distorted image of oneself and one’s relationship to others. Social reflection gives the process of empathy a conscious and objective appearance.
Empathy = sympathy?
Very often people use the word “empathy” as an inappropriate synonym – “sympathy”. But these are different concepts (although sometimes overlapping) and they carry different reasons and motivations.
For example, an altruist or philanthropist feels a desire to help another. They want everything to work out for him, everything to be fine, and they will try to solve his problems with him (or instead of him), pull him out of apathy, and cheer him up. This is a sincere show of caring. They are just that way by nature and help everyone.
Or pity. For a moment, you suddenly feel sorry for the unfamiliar beggars in the passage who are trying to collect money for food. They tossed a couple of coins and moved on. You didn’t plunge into their “inner world”, didn’t “penetrate their soul” and didn’t feel the whole bouquet of their emotions.
Empathy is not sympathy or regret, but an ability given from above or developed independently to immerse oneself in the state of another, to understand the emotions he is overwhelmed by.
At the same time, the empath may not have the desire to help and show care at all. It all depends on the person. For example, we all “see” a beggar, but not everyone will hand him a coin. As you can see, these are completely different concepts.
Example. You saw a fat person and realized that he urgently needs to lose weight, otherwise he may soon have problems. But you won’t run to him with this and lead him by the hand to a nutritionist. You may simply not care what happens to him (a misanthrope can also be a sensitive empath).
Empathy is the ability (ability) to feel the state of other people, but it does not at all mean that this will lead to some actions aimed at the benefit of the person in whose shoes you have climbed. Maybe even the opposite. Sociopaths, for example, use their understanding of people exclusively for their own selfish purposes.
It is simply the ability to lift the veil over the feelings of other people, to understand their emotional state. Whether you sympathize with them or not depends on the individual.
How to develop empathy in a person
Active listening
Many people listen indifferently, do other things at the same time, or are lost in their own thoughts. Perceiving information with empathy can only be expressed in complete surrender to another person. How to develop a skill:
- You need to let the speaker speak;
- Give your interlocutor complete attention;
- Periodically repeat what you hear, summarize information;
- Include emotions in conversation;
- Put yourself in your partner’s shoes;
- Eliminate judgment.
What happens next with the information obtained during the hearing is also important. Often people tend to propose a solution to a problem based on their own experience. A more effective version of sympathy would be the following phrases: “You are holding up well”, “How can I help?”, “Fate gives us as many trials as we can withstand.”
Saying compliments
Compliments help lift people out of a depressed state. Verbal suggestions make the listener believe in weakly expressed qualities and correct imperfections. The words “Don’t be discouraged, you are young, talented, beautiful, everything is still ahead” contain more faith and goodness than the pronunciation in a similar situation: “Yes, you are unlucky, your affairs are bad, and no one can help.”
For your information. A good compliment will inspire you and heal your soul: “I am appreciated! They see the good in me."
Exercise "Shelter"
You should sit in a comfortable position, relax as much as possible and imagine the ideal refuge: this is a children's room, a hut in the mountains, a hut in the forest, a sandy beach or another planet. The only criterion is a feeling of peace, comfort, and security. You need to stay in a secluded place for as long as it takes to calm down and relax. Simple fantasies will relieve emotional stress and help “shed” excess burden.
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Analysis of your behavior
Self-analysis is a logical continuation of self-control. Due to detailed memories, memory is well trained; the need to note details develops observation skills. During deep self-analysis, a person creates mental images of events and conversations, which helps to reproduce certain details in memory and improves imagination.
Important! Brief self-analysis makes it possible to learn from successes and mistakes and identify shortcomings.
The ability to analyze one’s own actions protects a person from unnecessary conflicts. People deprived of this skill are self-centered, words and actions are not questioned on their part. Egoists are unpleasant to others and become dangerous when they gain power.
What is empathy?
Empathy is the ability to feel someone else's emotions as if they were your own, understanding the other person's state of mind. It is on this skill that humanity is based, which separates us from representatives of the animal world. Empathy makes this world a better place, helping to shape civilization. Personal communication, social activity and even professional growth depend on it.
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The ability to sympathize and empathize are precisely the qualities that we look for in friends and partners. People with developed empathy tend to build relationships faster and become popular in the team. But we cannot perceive it purely at the everyday level. Many psychologists have devoted their work to the study of empathy, thanks to whom the nature and meaning of this phenomenon has become clearer.
The term "empathy" was coined by the American researcher Edward Titchener . The scientist borrowed this word from the German language, in which it had previously been used by the philosopher Theodor Lipps , who studied the effect of art on humans. The next step towards the development of the theory of human relations was taken by Sigmund Freud , who formulated one of the first scientific definitions of empathy. A famous Austrian scientist insisted that a psychiatrist should put himself in the patient’s place, trying to understand his condition and compare it with his own.
The difficulty in understanding empathy is caused by the versatility of this phenomenon and differences in its interpretation. At the everyday level, this quality is associated with harmonious relationships, complete agreement in a couple. If representatives of public organizations or political parties talk about empathy, they will definitely mention kindness, altruism, and philanthropy.
In a mercantile and pragmatic society, these categories are not popular, therefore, when hearing such a skill as empathy, many young and ambitious people wrinkle their noses, showing complete disinterest in its development. In fact, this is their mistake, because a person’s socialization and success directly depend on empathy.
When meeting with a business partner, client or employer, you need to very sensitively feel the slightest changes in the emotions of your interlocutor , instantly adapting to unexpected circumstances. Only an empath can achieve this - a person who senses other people's emotions. All swindlers or swindlers, including politicians, have this quality. It is thanks to this skill that they are able to ingratiate themselves into trust.
In science fiction, empaths are often called people with paranormal abilities, actually going into the realm of extrasensory perception. It is believed that owners of this skill can not only sense the mood of another person, but also transmit to him the necessary emotional state.
In addition to different interpretations, there are also degrees of manifestation, as well as types of empathy, which only complicates the understanding of this phenomenon by ordinary people. Let's talk about this now.
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Characteristic manifestations of empathy
The concept of what empathy is, as defined in psychology, includes people with high rates of emotional responses:
- individuals respond to emotional influences with skin conductance and rapid heartbeat;
- suffer from increased emotionality, often cry;
- spend a lot of time with parents, clearly show emotions and share inner experiences;
- provide people with real help;
- maintain and strengthen friendships;
- regard positive social traits as important;
- are guided by moral values.
Diagnosis of an empathetic personality involves 6 vectors of empathy: towards parents, animals, elderly people, children, characters in works of art and peers in interpersonal relationships. Six test scales open channels of empathy: rational, emotional, intuitive, as well as attitudes that accompany or limit empathy.
Due to the lack of information about the method of identifying scales, it is difficult to draw conclusions about the validity of the analysis of empathy as a multifaceted, holistic phenomenon. A more reliable psychodiagnostic tool for assessing empathy is the Mehrabyan and Epstein test, which measures empathy as a narrow emotional responsiveness.
Empathy
Diagnosis of empathy
Diagnosis of empathy helps determine which qualities of an empath predominate in a person. This test is important when selecting personnel whose professional activities involve communicating with people. To study empathy, you can use the “Emotional Response Scale” technique. The test was developed by psychology professor A. Mehrabyan.
The “Emotional Response Scale” technique makes it possible to analyze the general characteristics of empathy in the test taker. For example, the ability to empathize with another person.
Methods for controlling empathy
There are several simple ways to control empathic properties:
- You need to think exclusively about your own feelings, not related to strangers, several times a day.
- Think critically. When agreeing to help your interlocutor, it is important to consider whether the empath wants to perform this function and make the right decision.
- Meditate. The practitioner will need to take a comfortable position, sitting or lying down, close his eyes and imagine the return of energy wasted on strangers.
- Enjoy life. Most empaths are emotionally depressed and carry their gift like a “cross.” However, providing real help requires putting your own thoughts and feelings in order, achieving harmony and joy. It is recommended to focus on the joy of interacting with others, visualize the spread of internal positivity to people and refuse to communicate with unpleasant individuals.
Empathy requires self-control: in order to use the gift wisely, you must learn to manage your own feelings and emotions, and remember to love yourself.
Positive and negative sides
The advantages of empathy for strangers are that an empath:
- communicates easily with others;
- is able to help the interlocutor in resolving a difficult psychological situation, suppress any conflict at the embryonic stage, and avoid a scandal;
- has a special sensitivity to deception and is unlikely to allow it towards himself or close people;
- easily makes contacts and communicates with other strangers.
Of course, it is beneficial to be an empath, because self-development is an incentive for career growth, success in life and any endeavors.
The negative side of empathy is hypersensitivity to other people's problems with the ability to lead to an emotional explosion and deterioration of one's own health. However, this is not typical for real empaths, who still know how to cope with their emotions and are unlikely to encounter negative aspects in their lives.
Pros and cons of empathy
Empathy is a valuable ability needed in all areas of life. It helps us better understand business partners and clients, find friends, build romantic relationships and create strong families. However, it also has disadvantages that should also be taken into account. To carefully weigh the pros and cons of empathy, let's take a closer look at them.
Pros of empathy:
- success in any form of relationships with other people;
- ability for empathy and emotional support;
- ability to quickly identify lies and fraud;
- the ability to get along well with others and avoid conflicts;
- success in career and business relationships.
Disadvantages of empathy:
- painful experience of other people's failures;
- increased anxiety;
- hot temper, negative reaction to the callousness of loved ones;
- rapid emotional burnout;
- high likelihood of mental disorders.
As you can see, all the disadvantages of empathy are associated with situations where it gets out of control. If a person ceases to control it, he begins to suffer because of other people’s emotions and accumulate negativity in himself. The result can be emotional instability, short temper and even mental disorders. Those who are able to control their empathy usually receive significant benefits from this ability.