Causes and methods of countering verbal aggression

Characteristics of behavior

Verbal aggression is a phenomenon with a whole list of negative characteristics. Here are just a few of them:

1. Verbal aggression is destructive. Especially when a person pretends as if nothing is happening. His opponent feels aggression, but his feelings are not taken into account. Because of this, he experiences confusion, pain and disappointment.
2. It hits your self-esteem. An impressionable person, faced with verbal aggression, begins to think that everything is really wrong with him and consider himself insignificant.
3. The contempt expressed by such behavior can be very clear and sincere, touching a nerve.
4. Verbal aggression is an unpredictable phenomenon. A person can live peacefully and not suspect that the very next second a barrage of malicious jokes, caustic comments and sarcastic jokes will fall upon him. This can unsettle you.

And no matter what the purpose of aggression, the reason is always the same - hostility. We live in a social society, and we cannot all like each other. But only some people are adequate and restrain their negative feelings, while others are not.

What is the danger of harsh words?

Since verbal aggression does not involve physical manifestations of irritation, it is often considered less dangerous than nonverbal aggression. This is wrong. Constant threats and negative statements cause damage to both the object of aggression and its bearer.

What happens to victims of verbal attacks?

1. The mood is spoiled.
2. Self-esteem deteriorates.
3. Complexes develop.
4. Behavior changes.
5. Neuroses appear.

Regularly listening to insults addressed to oneself, a person becomes fearful, anxious, and whiny. He begins to have problems with the nervous system: frequent headaches and insomnia.

But the bearer of verbal aggression also has a hard time. It is difficult for him to socialize, make friends and establish close relationships with people. During adolescence, the bully is avoided at school; as an adult, he may lose his job due to his inability to have a constructive conversation. The more problems accumulate, the more obvious the need for competent psychological counseling.

The causes of verbal aggression are varied. This may be accumulated irritation that the individual is no longer able to contain. For example, you had a hard day, and a passing car splashed you from a puddle - it’s hard not to say “a couple of affectionate things” after it. However, the motives may be different:

• Inability to control emotions;
• The desire to assert oneself through humiliation of the interlocutor;
• Habit of verbal aggression.
• If a child grew up in a socially disadvantaged environment, constant threats, shouting, and insults are perceived by him as the norm, ordinary communication.

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Classification by type of manifestation

Verbal aggression is a behavior that comes in two types.

1. Open. Manifests itself in angry attacks, insults, curses, threats, and hysterical attacks. And, as a rule, for something that a person has never done or even thought about.
2. Hidden. More insidious and sneaky, because it is very subtle and gradual. This is aggression on the sly, through the manifestation of which a person subjugates his opponent, who himself does not know about it.

In general, aggression in itself is a manipulative phenomenon, but hidden aggression is especially so. For the person who manifests it consciously strives to control his opponent. And sometimes he really doesn’t understand that he is being manipulated. He can only notice that his life is not going as planned.

But how is the manipulative function realized? It's all about the psychological effect. At first, the self-esteem of the “victim” drops. And she herself doesn’t notice it. He just starts asking questions like this: “Hmm, maybe there’s really something wrong with me? But what? Maybe we should change?” The result is a loss of self-confidence. Then - attempts to change so as not to irritate the aggressor. And in the end - absolute submission to him.

This happens everywhere. In unhappy married couples, in teams, in relationships between boss and subordinates, etc.

Kinds

Speech or verbal aggression is classified in different ways.

Main types:

• Active direct – aimed at a specific person, group of people, and so on. This is the expression of threats, negative wishes, abuse and calls to commit violence and aggressive actions.
• Active indirect - spreading slander, gossip about someone, undermining authority, imposing on others a negative opinion about someone or something.
• Passive direct - refusal to communicate with someone, silence or avoidance of an answer or conversation.
• Passive indirect - refusal to give any explanation.

Most often we encounter the first two types of aggression.

Active directness in modern life is found both in everyday life, as well as in public speeches and media reactions.

This type of aggression includes loud conversations in the family, quarrels between colleagues, squabbles between neighbors and hundreds of other situations that everyone faces every day.

In the same way, active aggression is threats and destructive wishes addressed to someone by the media.

Active direct aggression is divided into open (explicit) and covert (implicit). Open linguistic aggression is expressed in the form of direct attacks, threats or insults. When hidden, the true goals are masked: neutral words and expressions are selected in such a way as to evoke negative emotions in listeners towards something or someone.

Active indirect is the special, deliberate dissemination of negative false information or “shuffling” of known facts about someone or something. This is done with the aim of causing negative emotions towards something.

Passive direct is a refusal to communicate with someone. It can be either demonstrative or in the form of evasive answers.

Passive indirect is the unwillingness to defend someone from aggressive attacks, refusal to give comments or explanations in someone else's favor.

Closedness

This is one of the categories of indirect verbal aggression. It usually appears in relationships between a man and a woman.

What unites the couple? Mental closeness, compassion, empathy. There is more between them than communication. But only if both parties talk openly about experiences, emotions and feelings. Unfortunately, this is not the case for all couples. Sometimes one party does not want to share this with their other half and support them.

When a person refuses to listen to his loved one and denies his experiences, this is a manifestation of isolation. He keeps all his feelings, thoughts and emotions to himself. And with his other half he behaves distantly and coldly.

A withdrawn aggressor may pretend that he does not hear his partner and is deliberately distracted by extraneous things. You can hear the following words from him: “Well, what is there to talk about? What do you want to hear from me? No, you won't be interested. Why are you asking, because you’ll do it anyway you want!”

Such words offend and disappoint. Relationships, as a result, lose their meaning, since it simply cannot exist without spiritual closeness.

Types

What exactly is verbal aggression? In fact, this is one of ten types of experimentally identified variants of verbal attacks, which can be as follows:

Why are nonverbal signs included in the layer of verbal aggression? Yes, because with their help expressions and turns take on completely different, offensive forms. We include the following signs:

• gestures (clenched fists, crossed or resting hands on the sides);
• facial expressions (angry or disdainful facial expression);
• poses (“imperative poses” are always perceived as a provocation);
• visual contact (a gaze that is perceived as “impudent” can be provocative here);
• intonation and timbre of the voice (even a phrase that is harmless in meaning can be shouted or said with disdain, provoking offense);
• organization of time and space of communication (invasion without demand into “foreign territory” or an urgent challenge to one’s own, realizing that in such a place communication will be uncomfortable, is already regarded as an act of attack).

“Do you think this is true?” says the parent or leader. In fact, this phrase is not offensive. But, if you add a certain posture, timbre of voice, put your hands on your hips, and even call your interlocutor “to the office on the carpet to the authorities.” A harmless phrase immediately becomes a threat, a condemnation of opinions and attitudes. And the phrase: “Everything is clear with you, my dear,” with certain non-verbal “additions” calls into question the level of mental abilities and competence. In a word, both in the first and second cases cause internal discomfort and worries.

After verbal aggression, physical aggression can be provoked. This happens if there is an initial disposition of the object of aggression due to its characteristics: personal, social or situational. Personal characteristics most often include age and gender. Social factors include ethnicity, social well-being of the environment, level of education and general culture.

Situational factors most often include the environment, the physical, physiological and neuro-emotional state of a person and additional factors that may influence the adequacy of the assessment and perception of the situation. But we should not write off the influence of social factors. These factors are determined by the national mentality and the division of certain linguistic norms as “unacceptable” or “acceptable”. Thus, in some ethnic groups it may be absolutely unacceptable to make offensive statements about the interlocutor’s parents. And such things always provoke an act of physical aggression. Whereas in another group it will not cause such a violent reaction.

Verbal aggression can take the form of direct aggression, which is carried out directly on someone here and now. Or maybe indirect. Indirect verbal aggression is heterogeneous and includes two different but complementary concepts. In the first case, it is considered as aggressive behavior, the focus of which on a specific person is hidden. In the second case, it is considered as aggression, which in a roundabout way seeks to hurt the victim. In fact, these two concepts are similar in principle of action - without direct statement. It has the appearance of intrigue and gossip. Insult is achieved by damaging, first of all, a person’s reputation.

The desire to object

Another common category. Objection is the most destructive form for relationships. After all, it appears when there are contradictions. And it is impossible to build any relationships on them at all.

The aggressor will always show rage, even if the opponent’s opinion does not coincide with his view on some minor topic. Even in the choice of milk. “Why do you buy bottled? It's the same as in the package! Why overpay for packaging? This is stupid, irrational and not economical! Any reasonable person would agree with me!”

Depreciation

This is even worse. A verbal aggressor simply spits into the opponent’s soul, forgetting that he has feelings, experiences, and experience. He demonstrates his indifference with such phrases: “You are too sensitive.” You're making a scandal out of nowhere. You have no sense of humor. You are thinking inappropriately. You make mountains out of molehills, as usual. Do you want to make a scandal?

Particularly sensitive people actually begin to believe that there is something wrong with their perception of the world. As soon as they perceive the words of the aggressor as truth, their soul is filled with a feeling of emptiness and wild confusion.

Threats

Why is it that in all the topics related to verbal and nonverbal aggression, more attention is paid to the consideration of the categories of the first of the listed ones? Because they are more sophisticated psychologically. Nonverbal aggression is the infliction of physical harm; there are no tactics in it.

But in the verbal there is. Take threats, for example. How many girls fell for this phrase: “Do as I say, otherwise I will leave you/take a mistress”? Threats of separation, divorce, beating... all this is also aimed at manipulation. And, unfortunately, this method often works. A person simply scares his opponent with the loss of something important to him or with the likelihood of experiencing severe pain.

Name-calling and commanding tone

Something that is an obvious manifestation of aggression. The most interesting thing is that a person, even calling his opponent positive words, can demonstrate his anger. It's all about intonation. “Darling,” “sweetheart,” and “dear” can sound like insults when said with anger, irony, mockery, or sarcasm.

A commanding tone is also a manifestation of aggression. He denies equality. The aggressor simply does not see his partner as a separate person, as a person. He does not ask, but orders, showing that he is just a convenient tool for fulfilling his desires. The words “please” and “thank you” are never spoken to them at all. “Do this”, “Buy that”, “Go there”, “Cook my favorite dish” - these are typical phrases of an ungrateful boor.

The best reaction is to ignore

Many people ask the question: “How to deal with verbal aggression?” The answer is simple. The best moral weapon is ignorance. What goal does the verbal aggressor pursue by showing his rage? He expects a certain reaction. He wants to offend his opponent, touch him to the quick, upset him, make him worry.

So, all this should be ignored. At least visually. Show the aggressor that all his attacks have no weight. Show disdain. You can even confuse the aggressor with an arrogant click and a wave of the hand. Or with the phrase: “Have you said everything?”

But you need to be careful in this case. Often, indifference awakens in the aggressor a sporting interest and a desire to piss off the “victim” in even more brutal ways. In this case, there is no need to retreat from the position of ignoring. But in addition, you will have to convince yourself that this person is an unhappy fool, offended by life, with whom it is useless to argue. To respond to insults means to give him what he wants, to provide him with pleasure. But he’s not worthy of such an “honor.”

Classification

The individual uses the following methods of expressing an aggressive mood:

• insults;
• accusations;
• obscene words;
• rude talk;
• threats, curses;
• evil banter;
• slanderous talk;
• criticism without reason;
• screams, tears, negative sounds.

However, angry words or obscene expressions themselves cannot be a sign of aggressive behavior if they do not have an emotional message, that is, they are not combined with nonverbal signs, such as:

• gesturing (clenched fist, waving hand);
• facial expressions (angry facial expression);
• body position (offensive, towering);
• intonation (loud voice);
• invasion of someone else's personal space.

Verbal aggression can be divided into the following types:

1. Direct active . Insults and humiliations are manifested directly during the conversation between the interlocutors.
2. Indirect active . The aggressor spreads gossip and slanders the person behind his back.
3. Direct passive . The individual refuses to talk and communicate with the person.
4. Indirect passive. It is expressed by refusal to defend the undeservedly offended, to testify in his favor.

While direct aggression is easy to recognize, hidden aggression is not always detected .

Since the offender in direct communication can be friendly and polite.

Forms of hidden aggressive behavior are:

1. Condemnation, criticism . The aggressor constantly criticizes the interlocutor under the guise of a desire to help. And he praises in such a way that his praise plays against his opponent.
2. Jokes .
   The individual constantly makes jokes and presents it as just fun. However, he does this in front of other people, and not in private, which indicates his malicious intent.
3. Controversy . No matter what the interlocutor says, the aggressor will always oppose his opinion.
4. Disparagement of merit . Even if a person has been awarded high awards, the aggressor will constantly claim that it was very easy and the award was received undeservedly or “through connections.”

If the attacks are constant

In general, the most correct reaction to verbal aggression is to break the connection with its “source”. Unfortunately, this is the only true way. Because aggressors are energy vampires, and they are like that by nature. You need to get away from them so as not to ruin your life. You can ignore attacks for a long time, laugh them off, brush them off, or even argue, defending your principles. But is it necessary? After all, the feeling of discomfort will not go away. But it is impossible to live in such an environment.

Although many people, talking about how to deal with verbal aggression, give good recommendations. You can use the following key phrase: “This is part of my life. My belief. I won't give it up." A logical phrase, but it won’t work with aggressors who live by the principle: “There are only two opinions: mine and the wrong one.”

So, by definition, verbal aggression is something that you need to rid yourself of. Move away from relatives who show it, break up with a partner, leave an obnoxious boss. Many will call this decision an escape. But this is not the case for everyone. This decision is a step towards your personal comfort, harmony and a problem-free lifestyle without energy vampires.

Protection from psychological violence

People who succumb most easily to psychological pressure are those who do not have strong personal boundaries and do not know how to defend their own rights. Therefore, in order to protect yourself from psychological violence, you must first of all define for yourself your rights and responsibilities in each area of ​​life. Next, you need to act according to the situation, depending on what type of psychological violence the aggressor uses.

Aggression is behavior that directs itself to cause negative consequences for another person with the intention of causing harm. Aggression can be directed against others, against each other, or destruction. In terms of form, we distinguish between physical and verbal, direct and indirect aggression. These species are intertwined with each other. Direct aggression can be physical—storming, beating, mourning—but also preventing a person from achieving a goal, such as getting in the door—or verbal abuse, cursing, refusing to answer.

Confronting those who like to command

When faced with someone who likes to command and give orders, you need to ask yourself two questions: “Am I obligated to follow this person’s orders?” and “What will happen if I don’t do what he asks?” If the answers to these questions are “No” and “Nothing bad for me,” then the self-proclaimed commander needs to be put in his place with something like this: “Why are you telling me what to do? It is not my responsibility to carry out your orders." Further orders and commands should simply be ignored.

With indirect physical aggression, aggressive behavior is transferred to proxy objects that are somehow related to the victim, for example, the property of destroying property. Indirect verbal aggression is the spreading of slander, or someone not intervening. All this is considered aggression.

Aggression can be affective. He is full of emotions, mainly developing on the basis of provocations or hesitations, and one acts impulsively and does not think about the consequences. For example, a manager criticizes his subordinate for poor performance. He initially gains the upper hand, but when he leaves his boss's office, he cannot overcome his emotions, and in a rage, he begins to scold him and insult him, not realizing that he can hear him and draw consequences.

Practical example:

Employees A and B work in the same office in the same positions. Employee A regularly shifts part of his responsibilities to employee B without providing any counter services in return. In this case, confrontation with the aggressor will look like this:

A: You are just printing something, well, print out my report, and then put it in a folder and take it to the accounting department.

On the other hand, instrumental aggression is targeted. The goal is to enrich oneself, to gain something of value to that person. Unlike affective aggression, it is much more planned and conscious. The goal is not aggression itself, but as a consequence. A man breaks into a strange house to steal everything that is not nailed down, and he gets the money. He learned that at that time all the inhabitants of the house had disappeared, but suddenly one of the family would return home before him, because he had done wrong and would become an unwanted witness.

When a thief notices it, he must act and get rid of it, otherwise he will be in jail. What causes the other person to be a secondary means to their goal, which is money in this case. In the case of bullying, aggression itself is a goal and is planned and fully conscious. This is similar to instrumental aggression, but in this case the aggression is not gain. Bullying is often talked about in connection with college school, where one of the students humiliates or even physically attacks another.

B: Am I working here as your secretary? My job responsibilities do not include printing your documents and delivering them anywhere. I have a lot of work to do, so do your report yourself and don’t distract me from my work, please.

Protection from verbal aggression

The goal is to make the victim embarrassed, upset, stressed, start making excuses, etc. Therefore, the best defense against verbal aggression is not to live up to the expectations of the aggressor and to react completely differently than he expects: to joke, remain indifferent, or feel sorry for the offender. Also an effective way to protect against such psychological violence is the “psychological aikido” method developed by the famous psychologist M. Litvak. The essence of this method is to use depreciation in any conflict situations - smoothing out the conflict by agreeing with all the statements of the aggressor (like a psychiatrist agrees with everything the patient tells him).

Of course, to reduce aggression, it does not help to make others angry. Neither is the myth that if someone is upset they should be angry at the boxing bag, it is not true. This activity does not relieve tension, but it increases activation, encourages aggression and calms it down longer. Alcohol is also not a way to cope with aggression. This may help suppress the anger for a while, but it cannot let it go away or help him deal with it.

Aggression should be transformed into some other form. For example, he may be creative or physically active. It's important not to be aggressive. However, in case of excessive aggression, it is always necessary to seek professional advice in the form of therapy or some supportive therapeutic group.

Practical example:

The husband calls and tries to humiliate his wife every time he is in a bad mood. Protection from psychological violence in this case may be as follows:

M: You don’t know how to do anything at all! You are a disgusting housewife, you can’t even clean the house properly, there’s a feather lying under the sofa over there!

Zh: Yes, I’m so incompetent, it’s so hard for you with me! Surely you can do better cleaning than me, so I will be grateful if next time you help me clean the house.

This includes training from another region, for example psychotherapy, psychology, pedagogy, social services. These are our own seminars. . The educational block, containing both theoretical and practical, with an emphasis on context and testing practical skills, is usually provided in the range of 8-16 lessons for 6-20 participants.

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Confronting being ignored

It is important to remember that deliberate ignoring is always manipulation, so you should not succumb to the pressure of the manipulator and try to appease him so that he changes his anger to mercy. A person who is inclined to constantly be offended and “ignore” in response to any actions that do not suit him needs to be made to understand that playing silent is his right, but he will not achieve anything with his behavior.

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Forms of supervision, agreement, agreement, rules, purposes of supervision, atmosphere, safety. How is control often controlled by control or control? Role and responsibility of supervision and supervision. Conditions for supervision and use of supervision over the development of the organization.

Practical example:

Two sisters live in the same apartment separately from their parents. The younger sister (M) has been accustomed to manipulating her older sister (S) since childhood. In cases where M doesn’t like something, she begins to deliberately ignore S and triple her boycott. Resistance to psychological pressure in such cases is as follows:

Preventing stress and burnout syndrome - 16 hours. You will try to cope with stress, how to cope with the stress of your job or life events. Of course, there are some options for active resistance to pressure and gravity, thus a practical guide on how to cope with stress and prevent burnout or drying out.

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S: In a week I’m leaving on a business trip for two months.

S: This business trip is important for my career. And nothing will happen to you in these two months. You are not a small child - you will find something to entertain yourself with.

M: So that means? Then you are no longer my sister and I won’t talk to you!

Resisting psychological pressure from feelings of duty or guilt

Strong personal boundaries are a reliable defense against pressure from feelings of guilt and duty. Knowing the boundaries of his rights and responsibilities, a person will always be able to determine what is not part of his responsibilities. And if a person notices that his boundaries are being violated, he should directly inform the aggressor about the limits of his responsibilities and duties and make it clear that the manipulation has failed.

Biological motivation and resource use. Psychohygiene, relaxation, treatment techniques. Use of the autonomic nervous system. The course is based on the methodology of effective stress management. Aggression and self-defense - 16 hours. The seminar will introduce you to: aggressive behavior in psychological and medical services, communication in anger, how to deal with personally directed verbal aggression, physical aggression, management of general principles of self-defense, how we will act after a conflict.

The basic approach to aggression and the general principle of self-defense. Plan to prevent aggression in social services as part of service planning. Preparation of defense against verbal aggression and communication in an angry mood. Managing physical aggression, basic understanding, modalities, and evaluation of interventions. How we act during and after conflict. And their own anger.

Practical example:

A single mother (M) is trying to prohibit her adult daughter from leaving to work in another city, putting pressure on her sense of duty. The response in this case could be like this:

M: How can you leave me alone? I raised you, raised you, and now you want to leave? Children should be a support for their parents in old age, and you are abandoning me!

Setting a course especially for anyone you experience in your workplace aggression from clients and are interested in trying aggression management techniques and gaining experience on how to deal with similar situations. Fundamentals of aggression, recognition of aggressive behavior and preventive procedures for aggression and stressful situations. Obtaining theoretical and practical knowledge about aggressiveness, methods of defense and their use in practice.

Meeting the Family - Peso Boyden's Psychomotor Approach - 8 hours. Psychomotor and emotional maturity contributes to quality and satisfaction in life and has a comprehensive impact on children's development and can be a protective and risk factor at all stages of human growth. Course learning outcomes. The goal will be a basic introduction to the existing theoretical framework, current scientific knowledge, meaning, and disorders associated with emotional immaturity and psychomotor development.

D: I’m not leaving you - I’ll call you, come to visit you and help you with money. Or do you want me to lose the opportunity to get a high-paying job and not be able to fulfill my dreams?

M: What are you saying? Of course, I want the best for you, but I will feel bad without you!

D: Mom, you are an adult, and I believe that you can find many interesting things to do. I promise that I will call you regularly and visit you often.

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Stand up to bullying

When you hear from a friend, relative or colleague phrases with the meaning “if you don’t do something, then misfortune will happen in your life” or “if you don’t change your behavior, then I will do something bad for you,” you need to ask yourself a question whether the threat is real. In cases where the intimidation or threats have no basis in reality, the blackmailer can be asked to carry out his threat right now. If your life, health or well-being and you are sure that he can carry out the threat, then it is best to record his words on a voice recorder or video camera and then contact the police.

A training package containing both theoretical and practical parts, emphasizing context and trying out practical skills. If possible, in the context of your target audience. The course designation is intended for workers who work with families in any context and who are interested in sharing their experiences.

The graduate will learn how to recognize and understand problematic family situations, with appropriate communication or strategy when working with individual family members. The graduate will expand their skills in family planning and possible rehabilitation, and will become familiar with how to support individual family members as well as the family as a whole. The graduate will be familiar with how sensitive and affectionate the family is as an organism. And how to find a possible common language for working with each individual family member, both individually and as part of the family system.

Practical example:

Employee A has not done his part on the project and is trying to intimidate Employee B into doing his job. Here's how you can resist pressure in such cases:

A: Why are you going to leave if the project is not finished yet? If we don't finish today, the boss will fire you. Do you want to be unemployed?

Q: I've done my part. I don't think I'll get fired for not doing your job.

A: The boss doesn’t care who does what. He needs results. So help me if you don't want to get kicked out.

Q: What do you think? Why wait until tomorrow? Let's go to the boss right now and ask him to fire me because I refuse to do your part of the duties.

Many people are aware that psychological abuse is being used against them, but they do not dare fight back for fear of ruining their relationship with someone who likes to command, manipulate, or abuse. In such cases, you need to decide for yourself exactly why such relationships are valuable and whether it is better not to communicate with an aggressive person at all than to regularly endure his insults and act to the detriment of yourself, succumbing to his blackmail and manipulation.

Verbal aggression is statements or intonation components of statements that serve to cause mental pain or are aimed at causing negative experiences of another person or living being.

N. S. Yakimova draws attention to the fact that statements become aggressive only in those cases when they cause the opposite equivalent action. Otherwise, even the most terrible word forms in generally accepted practice are perceived as adequate and do not injure. But it is not always the case. The fact is that verbal aggression is often directed at those creatures or people who cannot fully respond to such an act. For example, a parent yelling at a child is essentially committing an act of violence. But the same response is not always observed. Most often the child just cries. And in the case of a leader, the subordinate is generally forced to silently “swallow” all the aggression. That is, it is more correct to talk not about the reverse action, but about the reverse reaction. And it doesn’t matter how this reaction manifests itself. The main thing is that it causes emotion or excitement. This is called the "principle of reciprocity."

It is also worth separating verbal aggression from the phenomenon of linguistic violence. The fact is that linguistic violence does not have a specific victim, but directs the statement to a wide, clearly undefined circle of people. For example, persons of Jewish or Roma origin. Even jokes about blondes or Chukchi can be classified as a form of linguistic violence. Verbal aggression is always objective and clearly aimed at defending one’s position or point of view in front of a specific person.

Reasons for aggressive verbal behavior may include:

However, in all cases the motive of behavior comes to the fore. And the determining motive is precisely the desire to cause internal damage to the interlocutor. This is expressed in the meaning-forming intention, and not just in the design of speech. After all, one can recall, for example, communication between certain individuals containing a large amount of obscene language. But, at the same time, this very abuse is both broadcast and perceived as insert words and does not cause offensive feelings. Because, in this case, there is no determining motive and deliberate actions in the form of causing offense.

Childish rage

The problem of verbal aggression in children is very relevant. After all, throughout childhood, a child changes his attitude to almost everything that happens around him, constantly communicates with parents and peers.

At this time, their character and personal characteristics are formed. The child learns to establish contact, restrain his emotions, set priorities, and take responsibility for what is said. There are a lot of tasks for the baby. Many “freak out”, not understanding why they are starting to want so much about them and why they need to do anything at all.

Although these are more complex concepts. The simplest and most primitive manifestations of verbal aggression are teasing and insults from peers.

But attacks by children of a different nature are considered by psychologists as an attempt to protect their “I”. Or as a desire for active contact with others and the denial of group norms, values ​​and rules.

Be that as it may, in psychology this verbal aggression is considered the norm. On average, 50% of children are prone to its manifestation. Most often - due to upbringing or a negative microclimate in the family. But often children of good parents become aggressors. In any case, you need to pay a lot of attention to the early upbringing of children in a cultural environment, teaching them traditions and goodness.

Aggression in children and adolescents

Very often, children and adolescents demonstrate aggressive behavior.

This is associated with the formation of personality, the desire to establish themselves and earn authority among their peers.

A young child initially displays aggression as an expression of his resentment and emotions. At the same time, he evaluates the result of such behavior.

If he managed to achieve his goal once, he will demonstrate this behavior constantly to get a toy, ice cream, etc.

At a young age, children express aggression by screaming, crying, and hysterics. Schoolchildren already know how to control their behavior, so their actions are purposeful.

The child calls names and makes fun of his peers. Girls usually gossip and give nicknames to others. Such children usually have low self-esteem and poor relationships with their parents .

Teenagers act more sophisticatedly: they insult, humiliate, and force them to obey. They often drive the victim to suicide.

The main provoking factors of aggressive communication in children are:

1. Family relationships. Children observe violence among relatives and imitate their parents. Children often become aggressive when they themselves are humiliated by older relatives.
2. Features of the nervous system. If a child has some kind of neurological disease, he does not tolerate the load well and cannot withstand psychological discomfort.
3. External influences. An attack of aggression can be caused by a bad grade, a remark from a teacher, fatigue, or a heavy academic load.

In teenagers

From childhood to adolescence. We have all walked this path. And everyone knows how often verbal aggression manifests itself in adolescents.

What are the reasons? Psychologists have come to the conclusion that this is a complex personal formation, the causes of which can be both psychological and sociological factors. The most popular are violations in the emotional, moral and volitional spheres, family disintegration, improper upbringing (too strict or too indifferent).

But more often than not, their verbal aggression is only a form of protest against adults’ misunderstanding. It is especially pronounced in adolescents with increased excitability, short temper and irritability. And the explicit expression of all of the above is a reflection of the disharmony of the adolescent’s intrapersonal development and his social disadvantage.

Features of aggression in women

It is generally accepted that female aggression is self-defense. However, severe irritability in women is not always associated with the need to protect themselves. Aggressiveness in women is rarely combined with physical violence; most often it is realized verbally, in the form of shouting, swearing, and arguing . Attacks of aggression in women and girls can be triggered by the following reasons:

• Weak character and will, insensitivity and lack of ability to adapt
• Too fast pace of life, a large number of responsibilities, troubles in personal life
• Difficulties associated with pregnant women due to their potentially vulnerable condition, difficult childbirth, postpartum depression
• Hormonal changes that accompany the onset of old age contribute to an increase in psycho-emotional stress, which in older women can easily transform into aggressiveness

So what's the point?

Verbal aggression is a phenomenon that is incomprehensible to many positive-minded people. Of course, many of us sometimes experience outbursts of anger when the day is not going well. But what are the reasons for constant aggression? There are several of them. People who have it usually:

1. They cannot preserve their individuality or stand out in any other way.
2. They are trying to prove that they are right.
3. They increase their self-esteem by strengthening themselves at the expense of the weakness of others.
4. They attract attention.
5. Quench the thirst for power.
6. They try to gain authority for themselves by humiliating others.
7. They just don’t know how else to maintain control over the situation.

This is a short list of reasons. Be that as it may, aggression (verbal and physical) is one of the worst social phenomena. She ruins everything. Therefore, some need to wean themselves from its manifestation, while others need to protect themselves from this.

The essence of the concept

Aggression is destructive behavior that is aimed at causing moral or physical pain to other people.

Such behavior contradicts existing norms and rules, and sometimes violates current legislation.

There are several ways to show aggression. One of these is verbal, that is, expressed using words . Achieving the goal occurs with the help of foul language, rude loud statements, insults, and accusations.

According to psychologists, verbal aggression is often displayed by spiritually weak people due to impotence, poor upbringing and lack of knowledge in the field of communication.

A type of verbal aggression is verbal violence. This is already a method of controlling another person through verbal means.

Usually found in relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, boss and subordinate. The peculiarity of violence is the inability of the other party to respond to the offender.

It is necessary to differentiate between verbal and linguistic violence. The latter is aimed at a certain class of people , for example, representatives of a certain nationality, age, etc.

Verbal violence has a specific victim .

The extreme manifestation of aggression is verbal humiliation.

It is represented by the behavior of an individual aimed at reducing the opponent’s self-esteem , as well as the decline of his reputation in the eyes of other people.