The thoughts reflected in this article were inspired by a client who recently turned to me for psychological help. This is a 19-year-old guy, outwardly he behaved with me politely, reservedly and slightly arrogantly, but internally one could read strong tension and “frozenness.” The problem he addressed was the lack of friends and the inability to build interpersonal relationships. From his story about himself, it became clear to me that he is an extremely demanding young man of himself and those around him, with an inflated level of ambition. How ambition is formed, what ambitions are and how they influence a person will be discussed below.
Is it good or bad?
In different languages, as well as cults, the word “ambition” has different characteristics. In Russian, ambitious people are called arrogant, proud and ambitious, encroaching on something. Ambitions are an excellent motivation, which allows you to confidently move towards your goal. Ambition becomes a virtue only if it is confirmed and justified. You should not be critical of a person who strives to achieve his goal by any means. It is important not to pay attention to what is happening around you and then you will definitely be able to achieve success in your studies or career.
Ambitions must be conscious, built on deadlines and actions, only then will they bring long-awaited success and not become a mirage in the desert. There are enough dreamers who represent a special category of people who are characterized by empty ambitions, usually they are simply called upstarts. But despite this, ambition has a number of advantages, because it forces every person to tune in to the wave of success and strive for it. Such people are looking for ways and opportunities for self-improvement and are not ready to just up and give up their idea. Finding a goal and a way to achieve it, a person does not pay attention to a number of obstacles that often arise on his way. Overcoming difficulties gives ambitious people special pleasure.
What kind of person are you?
It is important to understand the meaning of the term and the word ambition and ambitious in relation to a person. After all, it is in real life that you can observe a person’s ambitions and understand what it is, who has such a quality and how to notice it in other people
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The most important period for the formation and development of aspirations, self-esteem and ambitions, of course, is the preschool period, as well as primary school age. The role of parents and teachers is important here, because if you support a child in his successes and endeavors, the positive experience will last a lifetime.
If you blame him for any manifestations of “himself,” then he will stop striving for anything. We can say that ambitious, purposeful people manifest themselves from a young age and it is extremely difficult not to notice this.
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We can identify the main characteristics of a person with high aspirations (the qualities presented below are more related to the term - professional ambitions):
- The ability to set yourself achievable, clear and realistic goals.
- Believe in your success.
- Demanding of yourself and others.
- The ability to flexibly adapt to changes without losing sight of your goal.
- “Inner fire” and a lot of energy.
- Constant development and improvement of both professional and personal qualities.
- The ability to clearly feel your boundaries and stand up for yourself.
- Positive thinking.
If you have found more than five of the qualities listed above, then we can assume that you have adequate self-esteem and healthy aspirations, which means that you are an ambitious person.
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In conclusion, it is worth saying that this quality is a double-edged sword.
It is important what significance ambition plays in the life of a particular person, because it can both stimulate him to activity and vice versa
Classification of ambitions
You can safely classify ambitions into several main categories, starting with adequate and inflated (inadequate). A person can be delusional with healthy ambitions or destructive ones. At work, you can safely discuss careerist and champion ambitions. Imperial and political are a special subtype in the classification of ambitions, and one can talk about this topic for a very long time and continue to look for interesting terms for classification. It is very important to understand that there are so-called adequate ambitions, that is, real ones for every person who has set a goal. They allow you to achieve success, and will definitely reward you with results, and all because the person has set himself a feasible task.
Psychologists conducted a study and found that if you praise yourself every day and convince yourself that there is “no better person in the world” and “everyone around me is obliged to help me with something” without backing up your words with active actions, sooner or later others will begin to consider you special, who thinks too highly of herself. Without real effort, you are nobody and there is no way to call you. At the same time, you cannot set yourself impossible missions; the result will definitely not please you. Excessive ambitions are also bad, they will only bring you disappointment and negative perceptions are unlikely to quickly evaporate.
What are ambitions?
Ambitions are divided into 3 main types:
- Low ambitions are when a person does not strive to achieve anything and takes everything for granted. Such people have no motivation to develop and grow professionally. These are infantile people who live boring, uninteresting lives. They do not set any goals, and if they want something, it is usually something that does not require the application of their own strength.
- Adequate ambition is when a person knows exactly what he wants and distributes his desires according to his capabilities and abilities. A person with adequate ambitions does not “grab stars from the sky,” but purposefully achieves his desires. He is constantly evolving, trying to keep up with the times. These are flexible people who can change their plans depending on current circumstances, but they will achieve the final goal in any case. People with adequate ambitions are harmonious people who strive not only for material wealth, but also engage in spiritual growth.
- Inflated ambitions are when a person wants everything now and does not understand how to do it himself. Very often, people with inflated ambitions were taught from childhood that they deserve the best, but were not taught what to do for this themselves. Therefore, as adults, they make too great demands on others, and sometimes on themselves, but without any reason for this. Often a person with inflated ambitions sets unrealistic goals for himself that will never be realized. As a result, this leads them to deep disappointment, and they blame the whole world for their failures.
Daily life and ambitions
A person is accustomed to demonstrating ambition in such areas of activity as:
- professional. Even if you fail to succeed in your career, this should not hinder your professional ambitions. Inertia in modern society, and especially at work, is not welcome;
- working. Each of us is concerned about his financial and social situation, which is why it is so important to be ambitious;
- family. Any negative manifestations of emotions, and especially arrogance, will certainly be met with hostility, and the other half is unlikely to be delighted with high ambitions. They act as an obstacle to family happiness;
- educational. Parents usually make a strategically important mistake when trying to realize their own ambitions in their children. The father has always dreamed of learning to play the drums and now forces his son to go to music school, instead of asking what the boy is really interested in.
When ambitions are too high
If a person notices that his ambitions have gotten the better of him, he needs to learn to suppress them.
- You realized that you have inflated ambitions, let them be inside you.
- Take more time to think, meditate, acknowledge your own emotions and feelings.
- Love yourself. Then you will be less likely to look for love in someone, and you will stop controlling everyone.
- Decide what is of great value to you, understand that you don’t need to argue with someone about anything, realize your tasks and goals.
Now you know what ambition means and who an ambitious person is. As you can see, with a normal level of ambition, a person achieves considerable heights, however, inflated ambitions interfere with normal life activities and affect relationships with other people.
Is it possible to develop ambition?
You should know that the psychology of ambition begins in childhood. Parents themselves are sometimes to blame for their child’s inflated self-esteem, but usually this happens completely unconsciously and not on purpose. Parents may try to put pressure on the child and force him to study in an area of activity that does not interest him at all. Also, a child may be praised in advance for something he has not yet done; such an upbringing policy cannot be pursued. Something may not work out for the child, but his parents will never tell him that everything is his fault. They will continue to blame anyone, just so as not to offend their child with some unpleasant word. Mom and dad can simply repeat several times every day what a genius child they are growing up in and brag to everyone around them.
It is very easy to plant the seed of ambition in a child, but if you make consistent efforts, they will turn into great ambitions and it is unlikely that anyone will be able to put in place such an odious person who is confident in his own irresistibility. Psychologists say that a person’s character will not change with age and failures will only introduce their own thread of irritability and resentment into the character of such a person. Therefore, it is very difficult to contact such individuals, and they do not strive to take a step forward. Sooner or later, a person will come to the conclusion that he can easily satisfy his unfulfilled ambitions at the expense of the people around him; no one will be able to communicate with such a person for a long time, much less maintain any friendly relations. It is much easier to engage in one’s own narcissism and not take into account the opinions of others - this is precisely the policy characteristic of ambitious citizens. You can and should fight, but only if the person himself wants it.
Why are people afraid to set ambitious goals?
Distinguish between goal setting and simply dreaming about something. If you simply imagine yourself as a superhero without claiming such embodiment, this is not a goal, but only a dream. But a dream becomes a goal when you clearly say to yourself: “I want to realize this.” Accordingly, many people dream ambitiously, but only a few dare to turn dreams into goals. Why are people afraid to set ambitious goals?
It's simple: they are afraid of being upset. Ambitiousness indicates that at the moment a person is far from what he wants to have. The longer it takes a person to achieve what he wants, the more ambitious the goal becomes. If he could easily achieve what he wanted, then the goal was not ambitious. He is afraid of being upset that he will not achieve what he wants. It’s better to set a small goal and achieve it, rather than a task that will take years to solve (“What if it doesn’t work out? What if I change my mind? I’ll just waste my time”).
A person is afraid of being disappointed in his goal. This is quite possible if he dreams of an imposed goal. It does not come from within the person himself, it is not a rush of his personal interests and desires. He just saw something somewhere from someone, he wanted the same thing. And while he reaches her, he may understand that he does not need her. And time and effort have already been spent. What a disappointment!
A person will not be disappointed if he tries to achieve a goal that was based on his own values, interests and desires. Here a simple question arises: is a person ready to do everything possible to achieve what he wants? Often, only one thing is required of him: to change himself so much that his thoughts, words, actions and resources provide what he wants. In other words, a person must develop habitual actions that he will perform automatically, which is why he will get what he wants every day. If he cannot achieve his goal today, then he does not have the habits that would help him have what he wants.
Is it possible to develop adequate ambition?
In order to take that very cherished step on the path to self-improvement, it is necessary to gradually develop adequate ambitions and provide all possible assistance in this:
- self-esteem. It is necessary to adequately assess the degree of suitability of your talents and level of ambition;
- confidence. You should be confident in yourself and your actions, but not overconfident;
- motivation. You should constantly motivate yourself, try to develop in the chosen direction to achieve your cherished goal;
- clear position. You should understand yourself and understand what you really want and try to find ways to realize your desires;
- ability to listen and hear. A person should definitely ask his family and friends how they evaluate his activities;
- setting goals. It is important not to stop there and always move forward confidently.