The results of numerous studies conducted in different countries of the world indicate that words can convey only a small part of information. The remaining share comes from gestures, facial expressions, and intonation. Psychology describes body language and gestures as a rational way of transmitting information. After all, if a person lies in words, the body can “give him away”. And this happens involuntarily. As a result, the interlocutor, having mastered the skill of recognizing truth and lies, will not have any difficulty in “seeing through” him.
So:
Body language, body language, non-verbal communication are all additional ways of communication. Have you noticed that if you are not attentive to your interlocutor, when during a conversation you do not look at your counterpart, you are less likely to remember what was discussed? Even if the conversation just took place. And the point is not only that you did not focus on the subject of the conversation, but also that, in fact, you missed most of it from your consciousness.
Remember that awkward feeling when you speak and no one looks at you?
It’s tempting to start speaking louder, to come closer and in every possible way to attract attention to yourself in order to better convey the meaning of the speech you are delivering. And this is quite understandable. When communicating with people, we receive 60% of information through nonverbal communication. Through intonation, timbre of voice, facial expressions, gestures and posture, the interlocutor communicates much more about himself, the subject of conversation and his attitude towards it than can be conveyed in words. Strictly speaking, communication basically consists of all of the above. By paying attention to your interlocutor, observing his behavior, reaction, almost imperceptible movements of the eyes and lips, noticing tense or relaxed posture, closed or open gestures - and you already anticipate the answer in advance and manage to change the tone of the conversation.
— If you are currently having business negotiations, you can even turn a seemingly disastrous start into a constructive discussion and then to victory.
— If this is a personal conversation, you will be more likely to orient yourself in the situation and understand when you should not put pressure on your loved one or, conversely, when you can take decisive action. Kinesics (the science of the language of the body and its parts), as well as applied psychology, psycholinguistics, pedagogy, history, are engaged in research in the field of nonverbal semiotics, the science of nonverbal sign systems. In this specific study of human communication, a critical question had to be answered: which signals are innate, genetically transmitted, or acquired.
To answer this, scientists observed the communicative behavior of blind and/or deaf people who could not learn nonverbal signals from others.
For example, the smile of a blind or deaf baby arises just as spontaneously as that of a healthy baby; it cannot be copied or acquired, therefore, it is innate.
— People belonging to different cultures use identical facial expressions to show emotions. Nodding usually means agreement or confirmation, and is used even by deaf and blind people, so it is also considered an innate gesture.
— A man usually puts on his coat with his right hand, and most women - with his left.
— When letting a woman go ahead, a man, as a rule, turns to her. The woman, on the contrary, turns away slightly, as if protecting her breasts.
These are, rather, genetically transmitted gestures. There are universal gestures: disagreement, misunderstanding, the whole spectrum of smiles from grins, contempt to the highest degree of joy and pleasure. For example, shaking your head from side to side. This is either an innate gesture or a gesture learned in infancy. When a child is full, he shakes his head from side to side, trying to avoid attempts to shove another portion into him. In this way, the child quickly learns how to use head movement to demonstrate disagreement.
But most of our nonverbal gestures are acquired, conditioned by the culture within which we live.
Sometimes, a gesture that is understandable and accepted in your environment may turn out to be meaningless in another environment, and even have the opposite meaning.
The most important indicator when assessing an interlocutor is congruence - the correspondence of his words and gestures. One of the most unpleasant examples may be the discrepancy between a wide smile and a cold, even angry, expression in the eyes - here a smile (more like a grin) does not mean cordiality, but a threat. Also, if your interlocutor has taken a closed posture, for example, crossed his legs, pulled back slightly, resting his elbow on the armrest and resting his cheek on his fist, his index finger extended along his cheek, but at the same time trying to assure you that he really likes everything that you are telling him here – you will intuitively suspect skepticism and irony in his words.
However, you need to remember that at the same time building a line of behavior, your communication, based on the logically analyzed postures of your interlocutor is unproductive. When communicating, you need to be able to feel the interlocutor, and not calculate. As they say, “intuition is the mother of information.”
After all, although the science of body language is multifaceted and interesting, covering a variety of aspects of human behavioral reactions, but, having familiarized yourself with the most common interpretation of human gestures and postures, you should still take into account that they must be read together, adjusted for the individual.
Do not forget that a person may often touch his nose due to a chronic runny nose, feeling uneasy about whether his nose has become wet.
The interlocutor may take a closed pose simply because he has a stomach ache and urgently needs to finish or just reschedule the conversation. Or he has chronic back pain and periodically unloads the stiff muscles.
Sometimes, having noticed in time that the interlocutor has begun to show concern, the best way out would be to directly ask him about the reason, which will also serve you in quickly achieving your goal during negotiations and will characterize you as an attentive and polite person.
So, we will focus on the most common gestures and postures that help us better read the interlocutor.
Gestures and postures
People's feelings and attitudes can be determined by the way they sit or stand, by a set of gestures and individual movements. It is easier and more pleasant for people to communicate with those who have expressive motor skills and an animated, relaxed facial expression.
Bright gestures reflect positive emotions and encourage sincerity and trust. Nonverbal communication becomes accessible and the level of mutual understanding increases if you understand the postures and gestures of your interlocutor.
- Concentration – eyes closed, pinching the bridge of the nose, rubbing the chin;
- Criticality - one hand near the chin with the index finger extended along the cheek, the second hand supports the elbow;
- Positivity - body, head slightly tilted forward, hand slightly touching the cheek;
- Distrust - a palm covers the mouth, expressing disagreement;
- Boredom - the head is supported by the hand, the body is relaxed and slightly bent;
- Superiority - sitting position, legs one on top of the other, hands behind the head, eyelids slightly closed;
- Disapproval - restless movement, shaking off lint, straightening clothes, pulling down trousers or skirts;
- Uncertainty - scratching or rubbing the ears, clasping the elbow of the other with one hand;
- Openness – arms are spread out to the sides with palms up, shoulders are straightened, the head is “looking” straight, the body is relaxed;
Video about nonverbal communication:
Facial expressions
Facial expressions are universal, understandable to the interlocutor regardless of knowledge of the language. The whole range of emotions is instantly reflected on the face, the expression of the eyes, the tilt of the head, and the articulation of the lips change. It should be borne in mind that it is not difficult to learn to control facial expressions; in fact, even children try to do this, for example, by opening their eyes falsely wider when it is necessary to portray surprise and admiration in response to a gift, although the gift itself has long been discovered in the parent’s closet and is not a surprise. There are trainings that allow, if you don’t teach how to control the emotions themselves, then at least learn how to mask their reflection on the face and keep a mask.
Learn to recognize lies
In order to feel confident and comfortable in a situation of communicating with different people, to avoid manipulation, you should learn to recognize non-verbal language of communication in situations where they are trying to deceive you.
What means of nonverbal communication, gestures, postures, and facial expressions should you pay attention to in order to recognize a lie?
- excessively long or frequent pauses, pauses and hesitations before starting a line;
- asymmetry of facial expressions, lack of synchrony in the work of facial muscles, when there is a discrepancy in the facial expressions of the two sides of the face;
- a “frozen” facial expression, when it does not change for 5-10 seconds, is false;
- delayed expression of emotions, when long pauses arise between the word and the emotions associated with it;
- a “long” smile, where the lips are pulled back from the teeth, creating a narrow lip line;
- visual contact is shallow, when the liar's eyes meet the interlocutor's eyes for no more than a third of the entire conversation, while often looking at the ceiling and around with a restless expression on his face;
- twitching of any part of the body: tapping fingers on the table, biting the lip, twitching of arms or legs;
- scanty gestures that the liar keeps under control;
- high pitched voice, heavy breathing;
- bent body, crossed-legged poses;
- poor facial expressions, weak work of the facial muscles;
- quickly moving the eyes first to the upper right corner, and then to the lower left;
- quick, imperceptible at first glance, touching the nose, rubbing the eyelid;
- brighter gestures with the right hand compared to the left;
- any exaggeration: unnecessary movements and gestures, inappropriate emotions;
- frequent eye blinking
Knowing all the subtleties of non-verbal communication techniques, you will not only be able to avoid manipulation, but you yourself can easily learn how to manage people
The sincerity of emotions is indicated by the symmetry of their display on the face.
The fact is that the work of the left hemisphere, which is responsible for controlling speech and intellectual activity, is displayed on the right half of the face and, in turn, is easier to control. The right hemisphere, which controls emotions, imagination, and sensory activities, is responsible for the left half of the face and is more difficult to control. Therefore, whatever you want to show off is more likely to appear on the right half, and what you want to hide is more likely to appear on the left. Do not forget that both hemispheres work together, changes occur instantly, sometimes barely perceptible, so that the difference will be visible only in nuances, but still accessible to an inquisitive eye.
Eyes.
Pupils. “Look a person in the eye when you talk to him,” says the old saying. With positive excitement, for example, with a loving gaze, the pupils dilate. This reaction is read instantly, on an intuitive level. This is probably why most dates take place in dim light - this makes the pupils dilate, even if the feelings are not sincere. In ancient times, in order to dilate the pupils and therefore appear more desirable, prostitutes dropped belladonna into their eyes. In case of a negative reaction, if a person is angry or annoyed, on the contrary, the pupils narrow to a minimum, and a “snake gaze” appears. Duration of gaze. If a person is trying to hide important information from you or is simply being dishonest, their gaze will meet yours less than a third of the time during the entire conversation.
What is kinesics?
Kinesics in psychology is a science that studies the totality of gestures, facial expressions and pantomimes that accompany the process of human communication. People do not control their body movements as much as they control their words, so observing the interlocutor’s facial expressions and gestures makes it possible to obtain additional information. Often, with gestures and facial expressions, a person can express much more important information than what he is trying to convey in words.
There are other branches of psychology that study the characteristics of nonverbal communication. This includes proxemics, which studies the spatial relationships of people, and takeshika, which studies the language of touch.
The eyelids are drooping.
The interlocutor isolates himself from you, listens inattentively, or does not want to show his disinterest. When negotiating, you can use the technique of controlling the interlocutor’s gaze. This is especially helpful if you are involved in a presentation using diagrams, drawings, or designs. It has been proven that a person perceives 87% of information through the eyes, 9% through the ears and 4% through the other senses. Looking at a drawing, a person perceives no more than 9% of what is said, unless the information is directly related to what he sees before his eyes. If connected, then up to 30% is perceived. In order for you to convey more information to your interlocutor, try to establish control over his gaze. Take an object in your hand, for example, a pen, and during the conversation, point it to the diagram while telling the story. When you need to attract the attention of your interlocutor to words that do not need illustration, raise the pen to the level of your eyes - your counterpart will willy-nilly look into your eyes and will more easily understand everything you say. Try to keep the open palm of your other hand in the interlocutor’s field of vision - this will make your words more credible.
Lips.
Very informative, emotionally expressive, sometimes deliberately expressive, and easy to control. Excessive smiling – ingratiation, need for approval, nervousness. Biting your lips – anxiety, nervousness. The corners of the mouth are downturned - skepticism, resentment. Mouth twisted to one side - skepticism, irony, mockery. Lips drawn out into a tube - concern, assessment. The mouth and eyes are wide open, eyebrows are raised - surprise. A completely “slack jaw” is an extreme degree of stupefaction, an inability to assess the situation and make a decision. A tensely closed mouth means reluctance to continue the conversation. Lips are compressed, white - refusal, denial, annoyance.
