Love is a beautiful and insidious feeling at the same time. When it is mutual, it seems beautiful to a person. It’s another matter if the love is unrequited or suddenly passes. Then to the person who continues to love, the world already seems black and white, everything around becomes sad and sorrowful, the heart and soul are heavy. It can be almost impossible to cope with yourself. So, a girl cannot start a new life and begins to think: “How to get rid of love (infatuation) for a man? How to let go of a loved one from your soul and heart?” Constantly thinking about him sometimes makes a woman’s life simply unbearable. The question “How to let the person you love out of your thoughts?” becomes even more relevant. It's even more difficult. But it’s definitely possible when you know how to behave.
What does it mean to “let a person go from your life”?
When a person lets go of something, it stops weighing him down, hanging on him like a heavy load. For example, some thought overwhelms you and gives you no rest. Until you implement your plan, the thought seems to be obsessively sitting in your head. But as soon as what you have in mind happens or is simply completed at any stage, this thought leaves you. And you become free again. Even if it didn’t end the way you dreamed, it passed.
The mechanism with feelings works the same way. Until you understand and accept the situation that your loved one does not love you, you will not be able to let him go. This means that first of all you need to do this in your head, in your thoughts, change their course, image, direction. And don’t hold the person, don’t be interested in his affairs, don’t remember, he no longer exists for you. This all seems very complicated. How to do this in reality? Let's figure it out in order.
This man's words are at odds with his deeds - and greatly
We all sometimes need someone who encourages us and helps us look to the future with hope. And if the person next to you has a completely opposite influence on you, if his words are constantly at odds with his deeds, well, apparently, the time has come to end your relationship with him. And it’s better to be alone than in such company.
True friendship is the strongest of vows, silent, unwritten, but unbreakable. Don't listen too much to what other people say. Look at what they are doing. There are not many true friends in every person's life, but sooner or later you will find them.
How to let someone go?
Of course, a person is not a balloon, and it won’t be easy to just let him go. But it is necessary. How to let a man go from your life? First you need to take concrete action.
- Give free rein to your feelings. If you recently broke up, you probably feel very bad. And whatever your ideas about how you can and cannot behave, in this situation you simply need to give free rein to your feelings. Cry, scream, you can break dishes and howl. Just don’t be silent and don’t keep all negative emotions to yourself. If you don’t throw them out, you even risk getting sick, not to mention the fact that hidden feelings will definitely begin to remind you of themselves one way or another. You will seem to be accumulating a piggy bank of negativity, at a certain moment it may burst and damage the very body that carefully stored them and did not allow them to come out. At first it is especially important to cry. Ignore those who don't understand how a woman can suffer so much because of a man. Perhaps they don't have that experience. Or maybe they are exactly that same box, filled with anger and hatred towards people because of the betrayal of a loved one. Pay for it, even if you have to go to work with a swollen face or take a vacation at your own expense. You will definitely feel better. The first “boil” of feelings will be opened. It is from this that, with proper further “treatment”, recovery will begin.
- Don't idealize the past. Tell yourself right away that the man who left you is by no means an ideal creature, and look for confirmation of this. Of course, in moments of grief you remember only the good, but there were bad moments, more than once or twice. Focus specifically on them. Understand, at this stage, in order to finally get rid of thoughts about your ex-partner, you cannot remember how good you were together, how caring and sweet your loved one was with you. Was he once rude to you? Did this happen more than once? Think about this constantly. He's a boor, a rude guy! At the end of the relationship he didn’t pay you any attention at all? Even humiliated? Low, vile man! Think in this way. But if your ex-partner seems completely positive to you, just remember that very good people do not betray, do not leave, do not abandon. And that's exactly what he did to you. It turns out he was lying to you! And everything is in this spirit...
- Cut off all contact with the person. Everything and forever. This is not easy to do. Especially when you really want to see him. Often girls, on the contrary, are looking for a casual meeting. Or they spend time on social networks in the hope of seeing new photos of their loved one and thus finding out how they are doing. But this will only open up your wounds. Firstly, you may see him with a new lover and you will begin to suffer even more. Secondly, he will seem even more attractive to you from afar. Thirdly, it’s addictive, and you start looking for meetings with him in real life. What will it change? Nothing except that you will be forced to humiliate yourself, causing yourself trouble again and again. Therefore, the best solution is to delete the numbers and not follow his life on social networks. Make an effort. Overcome your impulses. Cross out any physical evidence of him being in your life. No wonder they say: “Out of sight, out of mind!” The fewer reminders of your loved one, the faster another phase will come - indifference to him.
- Don't blame yourself for all your problems. This is generally the worst thing you can imagine. If you broke up, both of you are to blame for this because you couldn’t save your feelings. Those girls who act badly towards themselves are those who begin to remember all their mistakes, harp on them endlessly, and blame themselves for what happened. This will definitely make you depressed. And then, think wisely. If a person truly loved you, wouldn't he forgive you for your little shortcomings that you have now blown out of proportion? When a woman blames herself for everything that happened in a relationship with a man, she seems to be saying in advance to the next potential partner: “I will do whatever you want, whatever you say, whatever you wish!” With such an attitude, is it possible to find a worthy man who will value his chosen one simply for what she is, as it should be in true love? Forbid yourself from even thinking that you are to blame. Both are to blame.
- Love yourself and take care of yourself. This is not the next action in a series of stages of the operation “how to let go of your loved one.” You should always love yourself. If you love yourself with the healthy love of a self-sufficient person, it will be easier for you to endure any separation. This will happen simply because you will understand: a relationship that ended because you love, but you don’t, is an unhealthy relationship. You don't need those. And it's good that they are over. But, if you still lack self-love, begin to revive it in yourself. Change your image, look at yourself in the mirror, find new beautiful features in yourself, apply new touches to your makeup, take care of your skin, etc. Even artificially creating beauty in the mirror, you will feel relief. It is clear that your self-esteem has most likely suffered significantly, but you can improve it if you want to.
- Accept help and support from friends. Never go through your feelings alone. Some say: “It’s easier for me to get through this alone!” No. When you are alone, all sorts of thoughts will begin to pop into your head, including those that negatively affect the process of “letting go of your loved one.” And if you have at least someone with you who simply begins to walk around the house or bother you when you are unstuck, you will unconsciously begin to experience completely different feelings. Even anger at this person is better than sad thoughts about your loved one. Sometimes women feel that few people understand them. But that's not true. Your mother will definitely support you. Maybe you have a sister? Or a friend who went through something similar herself? Or friends who are ready to rush at your first call to distract you from sad thoughts? There are more people around you willing to help you than you think. Just think about them.
See also:
How to tell your child about divorce without causing him psychological trauma?
Do you find yourself trying to get someone to love you?
Remember once and for all - it is impossible to force someone to love us. And we shouldn't beg someone to stay if they want to leave. This is the essence of true love - freedom. But with the end of love life does not end. And know that although love sometimes leaves us for some reason, it always leaves something behind.
And if someone really loves you, they will never let you doubt it. Anyone can come into your life saying “I love you,” but only those who speak the truth are willing to stay in it and prove how much they love you. Sometimes, in order to find exactly that person, we have to try, but it’s worth it. Always.
How can I stop thinking about him?
Letting go of your thoughts is difficult, but it is possible. We offer you current tips that will help you get rid of obsessive thoughts about your loved one.
- Find a hobby, a new hobby. Nothing helps to push various interfering thoughts out of your head like some interesting thing that captivates you completely. In your case, this could be a new hobby. Why won't the old help? If your thoughts after a breakup are occupied only with a man, it means that your hobby has not coped with the load and you need something else. Start doing what you have long dreamed of, but did not dare (were afraid) or did not have time. It is now that we need to address this. Have you wanted to go hiking along a mountain river? Go boldly. In the company of strangers with new sensations, you simply will not be able to often remember your past feelings and your ex-partner. Have you dreamed of playing the piano? Start studying with a music director. You will certainly be distracted, and perhaps it will take over you completely. Do you want to skydive? Forward. In the first three jumps you will grab so much adrenaline that it will simply “melt” your old thoughts. In general, go for it. Remember, the main thing is to start, to force yourself to decide for the first time.
- Play sports. Exercise can do a lot. The fact is that at the moments when you begin to perform systematic movements, firstly, you focus on the exercises themselves, and not on your own thoughts. Secondly, during sports, oxygen enters the brain, enriching the cells. And this also changes the physiological state of a person, affects his thoughts and feelings. In addition, physical activity helps to throw out negative emotions, and excess adrenaline will bring a lot of positive things into your life. Feel free to go to the gym, for fitness, aerobics. Just run. Even if you start jogging 2 kilometers every day, your mood will already begin to improve. And fresh air is more conducive to joy than the atmosphere of your home, where many things remind you of your loved one.
- If your thoughts become obsessive, consult a psychologist. Don't think about how it looks, how weak you are at such moments. The psychologist's advice on how to let go of a person from your thoughts and soul is mainly focused on the actions described. But if you already need qualified help, your apathy turns into depression, then you should resort to other options. And, if more than a year has passed, and you still cannot forget your ex-partner and you are not happy in life, most likely, it means that these actions did not bring results or you did not follow them clearly enough. And then the psychologist will help you cope with your trouble in other ways and techniques. The main thing is not to be afraid, but to boldly go to the appointment, trusting the person who is treating souls.
See also:
How modern children cope with their parents’ divorce and how to help them
Your personal relationships are based only on physical attractiveness
Beauty is not just about how you look, what makes people look at you, or how others perceive you. This is what we live for. What defines us. What is hidden in the depths of your heart adds to our uniqueness. What makes us who we are are all these little quirks and quirks. And those who were attracted only by your pretty face or beautiful body, if they stay close, it’s unlikely to last long. But those who see the beauty of your soul will never leave you.
You really don't like your current situation, lifestyle, job, etc.
It's better to fail at something you really like than to succeed at something you hate. Don't let someone who gave up on their dreams rob you of yours. The best thing you can do with your life is to follow your heart. To risk. Don't take the path of least resistance just because you're afraid of what might happen. For on this path nothing will happen to you at all, ever.
Take risks, make mistakes, learn from them - it's worth it. Yes, climbing to the top of the mountain is not easy, but when you get there, you will realize that it was worth every drop of blood, tears and sweat.
You are constantly underestimated
Know your worth! When you become intimate with someone who doesn't respect you, you tear off a piece of your soul that will never grow back. For all of us, there comes a time when we should just give up and stop chasing certain people. If someone wants you in their life, they will find a way to keep you there.
Sometimes you just have to let go of the person you're chasing and admit that you don't like the way they treat you. If he wants to leave, let him go. Sometimes it's easier than trying to hold on. Yes, we think it's difficult and painful... until the moment we do it. And then we ask ourselves, “Why didn’t I do this sooner?”
You understand that the past will not let you go, and you continue to live by it
Sooner or later you will forget about the heartache, you will forget about what made you cry and those who hurt you. Sooner or later you will realize that the key to happiness and freedom is not in power, and certainly not in revenge, but in letting life take its course and learning everything you can from it.
After all, in the end, the most important chapter of your life will not be the first, but the last, in which you will understand how well the entire story of your life was written. So let go of the past, free yourself, and open your mind to the possibilities that bring new relationships and invaluable experiences.
