How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?
In addition to the fact that the lifestyle of an insensitive person means that it is almost impossible to offend him, spiritual coldness has additional advantages:
- A person who practically does not react even to the most serious shocks is usually respected and considered very strong.
- The image of an insensitive man attracts girls, because they think that he can solve any problem “without raising an eyebrow.” Girls say about such young people: “Behind him is like behind a stone wall,” because with him action always comes first without wasting time on emotions.
- It is much easier for such people to move up the career ladder, because no emotions interfere with working on themselves and self-improvement.
Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.
Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.
To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:
- Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
- Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
- Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
- Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
- Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”
We suggest you familiarize yourself with How to become a beautiful and well-groomed girl with a minimum of money. In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch means, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.
And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.
Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.
Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.
#3 send everything and everyone
Let circumstances take their course. If something is really bothering you, just turn your back on it with the words “screw it, come what may!”
Cool people don't worry too much about their problems. If something can be fixed, they, of course, get involved in the work with a sober mind. If something cannot be changed, they simply go with the flow, maintaining their endurance and patience. In 5, 10 or 20 this problem will not matter at all, so there is no need to be nervous about wasting your health.
We invite you to familiarize yourself with Alopecia in men: causes and treatment of male pattern baldness
Hemorrhoids: psychosomatics, main causes, psychotherapy
How to keep your cool
In our difficult life, sometimes it is simply necessary to remain calm. However, everything is not as simple as it seems. It is difficult to remain calm in some situations, but it is necessary. Because anger and impatience wear out our hearts, our souls and our families. The feeling of calm is simply wonderful.
Moreover, in this state we manage to do much more than we planned, communicate better and live a more productive and rich life.
When solving your problems and learning techniques on how to remain calm and cool, the main thing is not to forget why you need it. After all, you maintain your composure for a reason, but for the sake of your peace of mind and the peace of your loved ones. Never take out your anger and irritation on people who love you and are defenseless in front of you. Your family and your children should not suffer from your lack of self-control.
Be calm like a Buddhist monk, and life will thank you for your efforts.
#2 become better than others
Not only do you just need to show selfishness, you also need to raise your authority. At least for myself.
Composure is a constant state, expressed in complete calm and confidence. And for this confidence to appear, you need to feel like you’re on a horse all the time. Become “cool”, don’t give a damn about all the opinions around you. Don't give up, be proud, be indifferent to criticism.
This is a matter of your self-esteem. If you feel depressed, there will be no peace. This will be described in other words - fear, humiliation and despondency. On the outside you will look quiet, but on the inside you will be like a piece of bread that is used by everyone.
This doesn't mean you have to become an asshole. This means that you need to do something useful and start developing your character. In training, in work, in your hobby - to become the best without any alternative. You need to reach a state in which no other people or circumstances can intimidate you with their “power”.
Definition
Composure is a concept that has both positive and negative meanings.
- As a personality trait, it is characteristic of people who are able to make informed, adequate decisions in situations of stress. The latter refers to the body’s tension (from the English stress – tension), its nonspecific reaction to external unfavorable factors.
- In a negative context, cold-bloodedness is seen as the ability to commit cruel acts against other people or animals without showing any emotion.
To better understand, let’s look at both concepts with examples and select synonyms for each.
Mirroring
Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage. and mirror the behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.
What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.
What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.
#3 send everything and everyone
Let circumstances take their course. If something is really bothering you, just turn your back on it with the words “screw it, come what may!”
Cool people don't worry too much about their problems. If something can be fixed, they, of course, get involved in the work with a sober mind. If something cannot be changed, they simply go with the flow, maintaining their endurance and patience. In 5, 10 or 20 this problem will not matter at all, so there is no need to be nervous about wasting your health.
How to develop self-control?
Many people think that the ability to remain calm is a gift that is not given by nature to everyone. In reality, it is quite possible to develop it independently and even achieve very significant success in this. Let's look at several effective techniques that can help with this.
Find your problem areas
First, analyze your life and remember situations in which you failed to remain calm when necessary. This will allow you to identify the most problematic areas - this is where you should start working on yourself.
Perhaps you cannot resist the temptation to buy a delicious cake or a bottle of beer, or you are unable to refuse an online game that takes an inordinate amount of time. Remember also the last conflict with a loved one - did you manage to restrain your emotions well and not say too much?
Work on your emotions
Separately, you need to think about the emotions and experiences that you find it difficult to control. Perhaps some situation at work that you observe every day causes you resentment and resentment. Think about it carefully and try to understand why it has such a strong impact on you.
To better understand how to develop self-control, write down in a notebook all the emotions that you find difficult to control, and think about each of them in the same way. Think about how to get rid of uncontrollable experiences. Having sorted them all out, it will be much easier to deal with them.
3. Remind yourself that you are the only one in control of your life.
This is a very important point. Most people tend to shift the blame for their mistakes to external circumstances. When something bad happens, they get upset and begin to feel sorry for themselves, believing that life is unfair to them.
If a person knows that all the circumstances of his life are the result of his own decisions and actions, it is much easier for him to control himself in difficult situations. Even if trouble has occurred, he knows that right now everything depends only on him and his actions. And this helps him maintain his composure.
To strengthen your sense of responsibility for your life, you can mentally repeat specially selected affirmations. To do this, you can use the following phrases:
- “I am the master of my life”;
- “My whole life depends only on me”;
- “I am in complete control of myself and my emotions”;
- “My ability to self-control is growing every day”;
- “Feeling in control of my life gives me pleasure.”
Using these simple guidelines, you can significantly speed up your progress in developing self-control.
4. Play out successful scenarios in your head.
Sometimes it is useful to imagine a typical situation in which you previously showed weakness and could not remain calm. Imagine different variations of those events and think about how it would be correct to react in each case. Think carefully about your impulsive reaction and explain to yourself why it was not constructive. This is a fairly effective exercise, as it will help you quickly find your bearings and maintain composure the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.
Advice from psychologists: how to become indifferent?
How to become a more cold-blooded and indifferent person?
To all
First of all, you need to decide what you need it for.
If the goal truly deserves desensitization, then change should be made.
We need to remind ourselves of the benefits of an indifferent attitude towards many unimportant aspects.
This is expressed in a reduced reaction to minor quarrels and misunderstandings. However, you should not go too far and cultivate an indifferent attitude towards loved ones.
To create such a state, you need to downplay the significance of the exciting object, and give as few of its positive characteristics as possible.
You need to remember this for yourself and repeat it regularly. To make it easier to get used to this idea at first, you should try to move the exciting subject away
Then you should focus your attention on its negative aspects
You can even write them down on paper to visualize your approach. You can then begin searching for an alternative or switching target.
Everything is simple here: if a girl is on a diet, then it is better for her to buy a variety of low-calorie foods that will supplant her addiction to unhealthy but tasty food. This attitude needs to be formed for yourself on an ongoing basis.
Try not to be dramatic
Never make a big deal out of proportion. Calm down, pull yourself together and soberly assess the situation. Follow your thoughts. Don't let them lead you in the wrong direction. Think that what happened is not scary at all, that you can solve the problem and get out of the current situation with ease. Stay positive. This will make it much easier for you. Don't panic under any circumstances.
Think before sharing a problem
So you want to understand how to develop composure. First, break down your problem. Think about it yourself, weigh all the pros and cons. Determine exactly which way to solve the problem you consider the most successful. Do not rush to inform everyone around you about the current situation.
Think it over yourself first! By telling your friends everything right away, you will give them information that is not entirely correct, exaggerated. We can say that you are misinforming them and, naturally, their view of the situation will not be objective. Calm down, think for yourself and only then, if necessary, share with others.
Discover Visualization as a Way to Stay Calm
Each of us can learn to solve our problems without panicking. To do this, you need to understand how to develop composure. In turn, for this you need to learn to imagine the most difficult life situations as a tangled knot that can always be unraveled. The more nervous you are, the tighter the knot will tighten. And as soon as you relax, there will be an excellent chance to untangle it, which means you can calmly solve your problem.
Realize that you can control your emotions
Learn to control your emotions. There is no need to panic, scream, or throw hysterics. Learn to calm down and pull yourself together. No need to wave your arms and run from corner to corner. Just try to relax and breathe calmly. You will succeed if you try.
Create a calm environment
Try to get rid of all the irritants around you. Everyone has their own. It could be noise or, conversely, silence, people around, even the closest ones, conversations around and much more. If necessary, stay with yourself, think carefully, concentrate and try to find a solution to the problem.
6
Pay attention to your soul
Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga—or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.
Take a break
Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.
In cold-blooded reflection, hatred can be dissolved and turned into determination (Erich Maria Remarque).
Workout
During a good workout, sooner or later the weakling inside you wakes up.
He says: “Time to rest, that’s enough for today, my whole body hurts, baby.”
And you ask yourself one question.
What will I get?
What will I get if I stop training now without sweating my last drop?
And you know the answer: you won't get anything.
You won't get the body you want if you give up.
You'll just get the same flabby piece of pork you want to get rid of.
You will gain strength. You'll gain muscle. You will gain self-respect.
Sounds cool, right?
When you want to give up, ask yourself: “What will I get if I give up?”
I guarantee you will have a second wind and a fresh charge of energy.
Conversations with superiors
- Imagine your boss at your fucking job telling you off.
- It's already sitting in your liver.
- He continues to pick on your brains, and you think about what to answer him.
- Naturally, you want to pour on him the same pile of liquid and stinking shit that he pours on you.
- But what will you get if you do this?
- By telling him what a radish and cucumber idiot he is, you'll probably lose your job - that's what you'll get.
- There are better options.
- You can say calmly: “Don’t be rude to me” or “You have no right to talk to me like that.”
What will you get in this case? At the very least, he will remain the same idiot towards you.
- But it may also happen that he realizes his mistake and talks differently.
- Either way, you didn't lose.
- There is another alternative.
- You can just turn off your brain and say, “Fuck it.”
Always think: “WHAT WILL I GET?” - this phrase will help you restrain yourself and act calmly.
- Because when you give in to the power of emotions, you usually don’t get anything.
- You only get an instant burst of energy.
- But then, after a couple of moments, you look back and realize: “I wish I had held back.”
Why is indifference dangerous?
Lack of emotional response to what is happening and ignoring other people's troubles can lead to social isolation.
Indifference often becomes a stumbling block for loved ones as part of a lack of understanding of the difficulties of one person by another.
Indifference at the same time gives a person an imaginary feeling of abstraction from these problems and allows him to enjoy only pleasant things.
This quality can be regarded as a manifestation of emotional rudeness. This sounds especially harsh towards women.
It is assumed that the female sex has a great capacity for empathy and compassion, however, in conditions of an indifferent attitude, such a girl can be perceived as dry and insensitive.
In addition, indifference does not allow you to enjoy life in all its colors.
By getting involved in some process to which a person becomes partial, he acquires new life experience and knowledge, and also exchanges it with other individuals. Indifference makes the process of accumulating such information impossible.
This condition also leads to a decline in moral standards in society. The lack of reaction to shocking events makes them closer to the norm, and over time even transforms them into the category of habitual.
For example, the lack of response to the prevalence of gadgets among schoolchildren encourages further use of phones and tablets instead of face-to-face communication.
The process of indifference has a particularly negative impact on the upbringing of children.
Indifference encourages others to take harsh and atypical actions, which can cause conflict.
For example, in a company of friends, people are indifferent to the manifestation of cruelty of one of them towards animals.
In the future, this can lead to the formation of sadistic tendencies in a person and even to their implementation.
Episode from “Seventeen Moments of Spring”
The 1973 cult film left many powerful episodes in the memory, one of which was the interrogation of radio operator Kat. The SS Sturmbannführer who conducted him uses an inhumane technique against the mother: in order for the intelligence officer to hand over Stirlitz, he places her infant child naked near the window, although he may die from frostbite. At the same time, the fascist himself is nervous, justifying his actions with his duty to the country. There are two more Germans present in the scene: SS Unterscharführer Barbara Krain and Helmut Calder.
Let's pay attention to their behavior. Helmut retains his humanity; he recognizes that the child is not to blame and cannot be held responsible for the actions of adults
He tries to calm the baby down and resist the actions of Jurgen Rolf. And when this fails, he pulls the trigger to deal with the baby’s cruel tormentor. Barbara demonstrates completely different behavior. Not a single muscle moved on the face of the woman, whose very nature was designed to protect children. In a negative sense, composure is indifference, insensitivity, coldness, insensitivity, apathy, mental callousness (synonyms). Extremely incapable of compassion, she has no emotional response to what is happening. Moreover, according to the scenario, the woman is only 20 years old.
What makes people like this? Lack of love and heartfelt affection in the family, alienation from loved ones, thoughtless fanaticism. Of course, Krain cannot serve as an example to follow, but the actions of Viktor Mostovoy inspire respect, and many would like to maintain clarity of thought in a difficult situation.
Full control
Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.
First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.
Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.
In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.
This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.
The desire to become an insensitive person is not uncommon among both young people and older generations.
The main reason is the reluctance to experience pain from betrayal and insults, which can cause mental trauma and negatively affect self-esteem.
In fact, the path to a minimum amount of emotions is not easy, but in this article we will look at ways in which this can be achieved.
An outlet for anger
Constantly “hiding” grievances within oneself can produce the most destructive effect on the body. Therefore, choose a different tactic - try to discharge yourself. Anything that helps relieve stress and relax is suitable for this: go to the gym, sauna, take a contrast shower. You can even break dishes or beat a pillow.
Expert opinion.
After analyzing Goleman's work, psychology experts determined that the effectiveness of management activities depends 85% on EQ and only 15% on IQ. By developing emotional competence, a leader can view his own emotionality and his subordinates as a resource that can be used to increase productivity.
It is necessary to understand that EQ is not literally related to the emotionality that everyone is accustomed to. When defining it, the phrase “emotional intelligence” is inseparable. For example, an overly temperamental person may have a low EQ, while calm and outwardly unemotional people tend to have a high EQ.
When assessing emotional intelligence, the following are taken into account:
- the ability to immerse oneself in one’s own emotions, feel them, live them;
- the ability to rationally analyze one’s feelings and make decisions based on logic.
A person with developed EQ is able to maintain a balance between feelings and logic. In a critical situation, they do not give in to anger, despair, despondency, irritability, but know how to pull themselves together and make a decision or produce a result.
According to Salovey and Mayer, intelligence and emotions cannot be opposed, as many are accustomed to doing, they are closely intertwined, and a person’s success not only in business, but also in the interpersonal sphere depends on their correct interaction.
Rejoice
No matter how many techniques you learn to be cool, the deciding factor will be your... Most often, you immediately forget about all the techniques as soon as a real problem arises. Enjoy the opportunity to change everything. Now is your chance to practice. You can spend several years studying Zen, but when faced with adversity, you lose your temper.
As soon as you have the opportunity, be cool and indifferent, at least outwardly, and then be sure to praise yourself and give yourself a gift for doing the right thing. This is how, bit by bit, you can become a new person.
Discover Visualization as a Way to Stay Calm
Each of us can learn to solve our problems without panicking. To do this, we need to understand how to develop composure.
In turn, for this you need to learn to imagine the most difficult life situations as a tangled knot that can always be unraveled. The more nervous you are, the tighter the knot will tighten.
And as soon as you relax, there will be an excellent chance to untangle it, which means you can calmly solve your problem.
Definition
Indifference is the absence of reaction, purpose, desire to act.
This state of mind is characterized by pronounced apathy and inertia.
Indifference is synonymous with indifference, melancholy and apathy and characterizes the degree of mental activity, which in this case is minimal. An indifferent person can be in this state in relation to some specific objects or phenomena or to a group of them.
Selective indifference is effectively used as a way of protecting against negative emotions or influences. Widespread indifference is a more formidable symptom of possible mental disorders.
This condition can manifest itself in different areas of human life. The emotional reaction is sharply reduced. Losing interest in something means indifference to it.
For example, to a hobby or type of professional activity. At the same time, the person does not experience any emotions about the previously interested object. This is the most important distinguishing feature of this condition.
Indifference is also characterized as being indifferent to people and being cool about their problems or dire situations.
Remaining indifferent to the sight of others suffering means indifference in the soul or an attempt to distance yourself from what is happening.
True indifference penetrates deeply into consciousness; a person does not worry about this under any circumstances.
This condition is often a person’s own and conscious choice in favor of saving nerves, strength, and time. Indifference helps the individual to use available resources economically.
Advice from Daniel Levitin
The American psychologist promotes the practice of preventive work, when it is analyzed in advance what could go wrong and what unpleasant surprises may occur in a given situation. Surely, Viktor Mostovoy’s actions had been practiced many times before in simulators, when options for possible engine failure were considered. Composure is the ability to curb emotions and give way to reason, mobilizing the body, but not the appearance of a ready-made solution out of nowhere.
Therefore, in a calm environment, it is advisable to think in advance about certain actions in the event of, for example, preventing the loss of valuables, documents, emergency leaving the apartment, etc. To do this, you should identify special places for storing keys, a phone, documents, a wallet. Photos or copies of documents should be placed on electronic media in order to quickly restore them in case of loss.
Landing on the Neva
The year was 1963. A Tu-124 plane with passengers on board took off from Tallinn airport. Even on takeoff, an emergency occurred - the landing gear jammed. The crew commander, Viktor Mostovoy, requested an emergency landing, but the fog that thickened over the city did not allow it to be made. He was offered to sit in Pulkovo, on a spare dirt runway (Leningrad). While emergency services were rushing to the intended landing site, the plane was circling at an altitude of 400 meters, running out of fuel. When nothing foreshadowed trouble, another unusual situation awaited the crew - the fuel meter turned out to be faulty. When the plane approached the eighth circle, the fuel supply ran out and the left engine stalled, and a couple of minutes later the second one, although the meters showed the presence of fuel.
How to maintain composure?
To maintain composure, you need several factors that contribute to this:
- Be rested. It is difficult for a person to maintain composure if he is tired, irritated or worried.
- Be healthy. Often, diseases physically deplete the body, which is why a person also becomes psychologically weak.
- Be able to let go of negativity. Negative emotions arise in a situation that forces a person to maintain self-control. If you cannot respond to the offender in such a way as to achieve the goal and throw out the negativity, then you need to find other ways to relieve negative emotions when the situation no longer exists.
To maintain self-control, a person needs to begin to focus on the situation that is happening to him, and not on the emotions that arise in him. Self-control is lost when a person concentrates on his own outrage
He then begins to behave in such a way that the interlocutor understands that he should not be communicated or treated that way. However, this tactic leads to the fact that the interlocutor also begins to stand his ground: “Don’t tell me how to communicate!”
Self-control is concentration on the problem. We push emotions aside, let them rage, and you concentrate on the motives of your opponent’s behavior, your goal that you want to achieve, the desires of both parties, ways to get out of the situation in such a way as to help yourself and not offend your opponent.
In other words, ask yourself in a stressful situation the question: “Why do I need this?”:
- Why do you need to worry?
- Why do you need to argue with a person?
- What will your actions, whatever you decide to do, lead to?
- Why would you waste time and energy arguing? Etc.
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How to become a cool-headed man | Vlad Makeev
- What does it mean to “be a man”?
- What does it mean to be strong?
- These are the things that every boy is told.
- But no one explains what the hell it is.
- Women are trying to convince them that the answer to these questions is to “look after and run after your woman.”
- But if your whole masculinity is that you “look after your woman,” then you will quickly turn into a doormat and a henpecked man.
- So what's a man to do?
- How to become more courageous?
- Today we will talk about one of the qualities that answers these questions.
- And this quality is composure.
- Composure is a trait of a real man.
- It helps you stay calm in difficult situations.
- Helps you restrain yourself when necessary.
- Composure helps you achieve your goals no matter what.
- It helps you work harder.
- It helps you train harder.
- You begin to manage your emotions.
- I'll tell you how to become more cool-headed.
- This will be the shortest and easiest course on developing composure in the world: just one sentence.
- One sentence that will make you cool and courageous.
- Read it:
- You only need this question to become a cool-headed man.
- And now, using the example of various life situations, you will understand why this is so.
Who is an indifferent person?
How to understand indifferent and what does not indifferent mean? Indifferent means not interested. That is, significant signs or situations have lost relevance for a given individual for some reason.
All actions regarding this object or phenomenon are no longer considered by the person as worthy of attention. This allows the indifferent to feel a certain degree of freedom. This is the positive aspect of indifference.
This concept also includes inaction in relation to something. This may be a lack of response to an insult (indifference to the offender or the situation in general), or a decrease in attention to the problem or issue.
An indifferent person is unlikely to help in a difficult situation, because he does not consider this important in human relationships.
This method of avoiding responsibility can be effective when dealing with people who are trying to shift the care of themselves onto the shoulders of others.
Indifference manifests itself in the form of insensitivity to people's problems.
This allows the individual to avoid these problems and the difficulties associated with them.
Often, expressed indifference extends to other aspects of a person’s activity: his motor skills, range of interests and people.
The movements of indifferent people gradually become slow and unhurried, and the circle of interests and communication gradually narrows.
Not indifferent means exactly the opposite. Such a person is active in relation to the subject that interests him and actively manifests himself in relation to it. He is concerned about the state of an object or situation, as well as measures to influence them.
A caring person is characterized by a certain set of emotional or affective characteristics. Such an individual reacts vividly with facial expressions and gestures to everything that happens to the object of interest, even if he tries to hide this interest. Thus, indifference can be ostentatious and obvious.
The ostentatious option is used as a deceptive maneuver. Then actions or deeds that speak more than appearance or words can convince of caring.
A caring person is usually attentive to others and their problems, and shows concern for them despite personal inconveniences.
How does it manifest in humans?
Cruelty is always associated with causing pain, mental or physical.
A ruthless attitude manifests itself:
- causing physical harm to people's health, violence;
- killing people, pets, plants;
- destruction of monuments, architectural structures (vandalism);
- verbal aggression: writing gossip and rumors, sarcasm and swearing, humiliation, insult;
- anger, intolerance, irritation, hatred of others;
- deliberate destruction of material wealth, actions “out of spite”;
- cold-blooded inaction with the aim of causing more harm.
Satisfaction with barbaric actions causes sadism; its causes lie deep in the psyche.
Don't share
The next time you are faced with a challenge that makes you feel strong emotions, try to first breathe out and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call your friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.
You need to instill in yourself the rule - solve the problem where it arises, and not talk about it. Give yourself some time to cool down and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can turn to your loved ones for help or advice, but do not shift the decision making to them.
If you forbid yourself from discussing the incident, what will you do in this case?
Sources
- https://motivation-life.ru/psy/826-samoobladaniye.html
- https://psiholog4you.ru/kak-stat-spokoynyim-i-hladnokrovnyim/
- https://ezy-life.ru/lichnost/stat-hladnokrovnym-i-ravnodushnym.html
Conflicts with girls
- This works great during conflicts with girls.
- If she's mad about something, the last thing you want to do is respond to her emotions with emotions.
- When you start yelling back, the conflict escalates even more.
- This is “Games People Play” by Eric Berne.
- When you start squealing with her, you are playing her game.
- She yells - you yell.
- You both can't stop anymore.
- But if you remain calm, like a mustang, then her emotions will fade away.
- Understand one thing: in a conflict it is always more profitable to behave calmly and coolly.
- Your composure calms your interlocutor.
- WHAT WILL YOU GET?
- Giving in to emotions, you will get an even bigger scandal.
- By staying cool, you will resolve the conflict.
How to stay calm and cool
“I've always been called cool. I am a bomb disposal specialist. I was always completely calm, independent and professional before, during and after each operation. But now I can only say one thing: I have lost all my composure.”
How to keep a cool head in a crowd of hot heads?
Tip 1: You need to respond, not just react
Tip 4: Think cool
- “It will be a disaster!”
- “This is the best person in the world!”
- “I'm just a loser!”
- "I'm going crazy!"
- “I’ll make a complete idiot of myself!”
Now let’s practice thinking a little differently, catching ourselves in such an “extreme”:
- “Some things may not go as expected, but everything else may be just fine.”
- “I love this person, but the world is not perfect.”
- “I'm worried now, but I'm not going crazy!”
- “It may not be easy for a while.”
- “Let them think what they want. Everyone has their own thoughts in their heads.”
- “This is a dangerous explosive device, but I am a world-class expert and very well prepared!”
Tip 5: Don't always be cold-blooded
Conflicts with other men
- In conflicts with men, you must remain calm to the last.
- When temperatures heat up, there are two possible outcomes.
- Either you will fight or you won't.
- If a fight is inevitable, you must strike first (c) Vladimir Putin.
- But to strike first, you must not give yourself away before the strike.
We invite you to read Why women feel dizzy and shaky: common causes
This requires composure.
You don't show your intentions until your blow lands on the target.
Naturally, it is better to resolve the conflict with words.
If the conflict can be resolved with words, then your composure will play into your hands.
You'll think, “What am I going to get?” - and you will behave calmly, defusing the situation. This will help resolve the conflict faster.
Self-control
Everything described above can be understood by every person interested in the question “Self-control – what is it?” But some people have this quality, while others do not.
This is because it manifests itself at moments of emotional peak tension, which are accompanied by complex chemical processes in the body, as well as a kind of “response” of the brain and endocrine system to stress. Take, for example, an ordinary family quarrel. For some, it develops into a real scandal with breaking dishes, slapping and swearing. For others, everything is resolved in a few minutes with a calm conversation. It's just that some people are more balanced and less impressionable. Therefore, they are able to cope with stressful situations without any special shocks to the nervous system.
Escalation of evil (snowball effect)
They made a remark to you or even said something offensive to you. In response: at best, they glared so angrily, from under their eyebrows, saying “it’s none of your business”, “whose mongrel would moo”, “you can’t see the log in your own eye”...
At worst: the snowball of evil is gaining momentum. You respond to “kindness” with the same coin, plus a couple of “kopecks” on top. The opponent cannot be a debtor - he returns “your capital to the relationship” with a couple of his “rubles” (hmm, that’s how they would borrow from a bank) ...
The development of the script can be continued, as in Hollywood films, but unlike those episodes that we watch from the outside, it’s not very comfortable to be in them. Or comfortable? Do you sometimes like to get angry and annoy others? In that case, this article is not for you (and just in case, check your endocrine system.)
Understand the history of the formation of political thought
To learn to understand politics, you need to have an idea of the history of the formation of political thought. At the initial stage, political phenomena formed spontaneously. People united into tribes, after which the population increased and the tribes grew into nationalities, after which nations appeared. All these difficult processes were influenced by many factors, including the geographical location of this or that nascent state. Egypt was ruled by despotic pharaohs, Scandinavia was ruled by cruel Vikings, and Hindustan was dominated by the crude Indian caste system. Every nation created an impeccable system of law and order, a state structure to which the entire population was subordinate, and no one could object to the freedom of the ruler.
Literature
It is impossible to describe all the techniques that will help in one article. Fortunately, there are a lot of excellent books on this topic that have become bestsellers. I would like to recommend some of them to you.
In Osho's book Meditations for Busy People. You will find a whole scattering of techniques that will help you get rid of stress at the most critical moment. You will understand where experiences come from, you will be able to establish control of the mind over the body, you will learn how to meditate while eating, sex, and penetrate into silence when there are screams around and the situation is out of control. You will learn to turn to the voice of your heart and mind when others think it is impossible.
If you prefer a psychological approach to problems, then I recommend reading “Resilience to Stress” by Sharon Melnick
In it, much attention is paid to rules and strategies, harmony and, most importantly, calm: how; the 50% rule or what to do with what you have no control over; what is reasonable detachment and how to address it; concentrate in 3 minutes, and where the “on” and “off” buttons for your emotions are located
That’s basically all, don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter so as not to get confused in the world of psychology and always receive relevant and useful advice that works every day. See you again and good luck.
People with cold hearts are those who cannot be reached emotionally. They are not affectionate and do not exude warmth. In this article, we will give you some tips on how to recognize a person with a cold heart.
“...I call people with a cold heart people who are withdrawn, depressed and far from deep feelings and experiences. From those who are abstracted even from themselves, you should not expect reciprocity - they will not be able to give you what they are not able to experience on their own,” says psychologist and author Leon F. Seltzer.
Correct assessment of realities
In order to remain cool and calm, you need to accustom yourself to a sound assessment of what is happening and the motives of other people.
- Keep in mind that there are practically no perfect people. You yourself are full of shortcomings. Do you expect from another person something that you should not expect from him in principle? He just doesn’t understand this, doesn’t know, doesn’t know how? Or is he not tailored to your expectations based on his character? Or is he full of his own troubles?
- Decide - maybe what is happening is not aimed at you personally? Then you need to understand how you found yourself in the zone of influence of these unfavorable circumstances or statements, and then it will become clear how to get out from under the attack or what needs to be explained and to whom.
- Find out whether the situation that has arisen is the result of someone’s purposeful provocation. Feel free to openly discuss all this with the people you encounter. Your sincere desire to defuse the situation and sort things out cannot go unnoticed and will bring obvious benefits.
- Try not to defend your own “ego”, but take the conversation in a constructive direction. Don't find out who is right and who is wrong. Strive to find out the essence of the problem and ways to solve it.
- Realize whether the crisis is a consequence of your own mistake. And if so, do not apologize, but thank them for the experience and demonstrate a willingness to be fair and adequately correct shortcomings. This is both easier morally and more correct in essence than simply blaming yourself and throwing ashes on your head.
- If you really want to learn how to be cool, take any scandal with the joy of being given a wonderful opportunity to practice and test yourself.
Calmness can be developed. And development is a path - through training and testing. Good luck to you on this path and see you again!
Yours, Audrius K.
#3 Send everything and everyone
Let circumstances take their course. If something is really bothering you, just turn your back on it with the words “screw it, come what may!”
Cool people don't worry too much about their problems. If something can be fixed, they, of course, get involved in the work with a sober mind. If something cannot be changed, they simply go with the flow, maintaining their endurance and patience. After 5, this problem will not matter at all, so there is no need to be nervous about wasting your health.
#4 Maintain external calm
The external state directly affects the internal. By the way you dress, how you put your hands in front of you, how you speak, you can find out what is going on in your soul.
Of course, you can pretend to be cool and constantly restrain yourself. But still, your character will come out through nervous movements, twitches, a ringing voice and uneven breathing. Therefore, in addition to internal changes, external ones must also be added. Here's what to do:
- Stop jerking your leg when sitting
- Stop constantly walking from side to side when you think
- Breathe deeply and rhythmically
- Speak in a calm and even voice
- Think more before expressing a thought
Honestly, I don't think you can become a frozen machine and adhere to all these recommendations. But if your motives are strong enough, then it is only a matter of desire and time.
#5 State of body = state of mind
This is a small addition to the previous point. Sometimes you are simply overworked and because of this you overdramatize the situation. Your body is tired, fed up with everything, and even the smallest problem can throw you off track. This occurs either due to heavy physical activity or due to a sedentary lifestyle at the computer.
In the first case, good sleep helps, in the second - regular exercise. And the best solution would be to combine these two processes.
#6 Organize your life
It is difficult to become calm when you are surrounded by chaos and disorder. Going there, picking up this, talking to this, meeting that - all this shakes the nervous system and makes you irritable. Even the calmest person in such a situation can lash out at family and friends.
To prevent this, you need to surround yourself with a calm atmosphere. Clean up, deal with all unfinished business, watch less negative TV shows and videos. By all means you need to limit the number of irritants so that they do not disrupt your equanimity and self-control.
That's all. I hope these short tricks will help you develop a cool head and become a calm person. See you again!
The Art of Self-Control
Self-control refers to the art of tact, tolerance, and patience. The art of self-control is marked by the ability to act rationally rather than emotionally. Self-control allows you to rule not only over yourself, but also over other individuals. This feeling helps in making the right decisions, especially in extreme situations. Self-control makes it possible to see this world through the prism of calm, as well as self-confidence. In everyday life, self-control is manifested in the ability to suppress desires and strong inclinations, the ability to control emotional impulses and show determination, as well as control behavior when fear arises.
Self-control is manifested in the following forms: patience (endure difficulties and inconvenience), abstinence (self-denial - refusal of harmful and reasonable use of useful), equanimity, tranquility (state of balance, peace and tranquility), self-discipline, perseverance (maintaining devotion and fidelity at the time of trials and temptations).