How to forget a guy? In the current age of Internet addiction, you can easily find thousands of links on the World Wide Web resources containing advice on the topic: “how can a girl forget a guy?” After sifting through a pile of girly youth magazines, you can also find some useful recommendations. However, in most cases, following recommendations and following advice will only help distract you, but will hardly contribute to forgetting your loved one. To quickly and painlessly eliminate his image from memory, more active actions on the part of the young ladies and a positive attitude will be required.
In addition, it would not be superfluous to draw up a step-by-step strategy for erasing the guy from your thoughts and heart. Also, it’s worth trying to understand that there are no irreplaceable males, that there are millions of guys around, and a girl who is tormented in finding answers to the burning question: “how to forget a beloved guy” is alone. After all, if a loved one did not have enough time or opportunity to appreciate his former chosen one, then this should become exclusively his problem. And the representative of the female part of the population is advised to stop being sad, put a smile on her pretty face, line her eyes, powder her nose, tint her lips and go decorate the world, dressed in an elegant, modest dress and stilettos. And in the process of such “decoration”, it would not be superfluous to “shoot” with your eyes in search of a new gentleman, who, of course, will not replace the ex-boyfriend, but is ideal for distracting from sorrowful thoughts and raising the mood.
Why can’t I forget the past, my ex-boyfriend for six months, a year, 2 years: what to do?
First, let's erase all illusions in advance - it is very difficult to forget the guy whom the girl sincerely loved. We cannot reassure you and say that in just a day you will feel much better.
All women have probably had relationships that broke down for one reason or another. And there were sleepless, painful nights, and tears, and alcohol with my girlfriend. Girls who had no support or were experiencing a particularly difficult breakup even tried to cut their wrists or climb into a noose.
Dear girls, the least we can do for you is to ask and beg you not to do such things that could take your life. Remember that life is a huge gift, you are healthy and young, which means you will still find your happiness.
Parting
Time heals, and over time you will be able to understand that all the relationships that you had previously turned out to be only a very valuable experience for you. And perhaps you will even be glad that they are over. But still, let's get back to the painful situation. We really hope that the following tips will help you get through a difficult period in your life.
So:
- Start your life from scratch . Change everything - habits, clothes, hairstyle. Try to walk more and take a longer route to work to fully enjoy the beauty of nature. After all, you most likely did not notice that flowering tree and the bird singing every morning.
- Divide your life into “before” and “after” relationships. And try to completely exclude from your life places and emotions associated with the “before” period. Do not visit cafes and discos, do not walk along those streets. After all, even music at a disco or a familiar restaurant can lead to depression. Very soon you will be able to forget and be more relaxed in these places, but for now there is no need to stir up painful wounds.
- Go with friends to cafes and restaurants more often. But remember the previous advice - not the ones where you were with a young man. Try to get maximum positive emotions from these places. In addition, do not forget to dress nicely and put on makeup - after all, your destiny may await you there.
Visit public places
- Sign up for a dance course. It is through dance that you can express your emotions. Music will make your heart open, and rhythmic movements help cleanse your soul of negativity.
- Go on a date, because now you are free. Even if your heart is sad, a good walk and a great time can ease your worries and will also take up the time you would otherwise spend in sadness. Of course, you will look for similar traits and behavior of your ex in a man, but try to find the strength within yourself and not think about him.
- To have fun and kill time, register on a dating site. Be sure to post your photo there, because compliments from men lift your spirits more than ever. Don’t lock yourself away and find the strength to talk to other guys, because every man has his own positive traits. And who knows, maybe there will be much more of them in your new acquaintance than in your ex.
- Play sports. This way you will not only occupy your time, but also put your body in order. A beautiful body is not only pleasant, but also attracts the glances of surrounding men. In addition, psychologists believe that physical exercise can cure stress and other disorders. A huge plus is also that after coming from the hall you will have no time to think and worry. Good sport always tortures you, so your only desire will be sleep.
Play sports
Don't drive yourself into worries and suffering.
Everything that happened is only for the better and over time you will understand this yourself.
Ideal5
So, now you need to find out why he captivated you so much. Why him? Why not the guy who tried so long and hard to get your attention?
Remember your first impression of him. Did he initially attract you, or did it happen gradually?
Remember how we talked about how any relationship is a valuable experience? Now we will try to turn a traumatic experience into a useful one.
Make a list of the qualities you like about him. Don't forget to also include some of his habits and mannerisms.
Now you have before your eyes an approximate list of what attracts you in men. “Handsome”, “confident”, “he has a good sense of humor” - this is not enough, think further.
“Can’t sit idle”, “knows what he wants from life”, “knows how to make money”, “an extrovert and the life of the party” - now you can work with this.
I'm dating a guy, but I can't forget my ex-boyfriend: what does this mean?
If, after breaking up, you have already found a new guy, or it was the new guy who caused the breakup, then at first glance it seems that there is no problem. But there are situations that even with a new guy, you still constantly think about your ex. Let's look at the reasons and find a solution to the problem:
- You feel guilty. Perhaps you have developed a guilt complex due to the fact that you left your boyfriend for someone else. But here you are making a mistake, since this is life and people can not only disagree, but also get divorced because of a new passion. Apparently you had good reasons and strong feelings because of which you decided to change your partner.
- Attitude . Take a closer look at how your current partner behaves with you. Does he pay enough attention and give gifts? Perhaps the reason is that the ex was more attentive.
- Intimate motives. A very important aspect in a relationship is intimate life. If your ex gave you a storm of bright emotions in bed, and now you only have a small spark, then hour after hour you will mentally return your thoughts to your ex. Talk to your current partner, tell him frankly about how you would like to diversify your intimate life.
Love for an ex in a current relationship
Understand that if you already have a boyfriend and everything is over with your ex, then there is absolutely no point in going back to the past.
Find the positive aspects of this relationship and live in the present, develop them and over time, thoughts about your ex will leave your head, and feelings will leave your soul and heart.
Falling in love and love from the point of view of psychology and physiology
Many girls have the wrong idea about love and being in love, which is why it is so difficult for them to decide to break up with their boyfriend. But if you are simply in love, then it will be much easier to forget a man.
Effect of hormones
When a girl falls in love, her hormones rage. A man seems to be an ideal, possessing only virtues. Disadvantages are either not noticed at all or are smoothed out. You want to be close to your lover every second; there is a desire to completely possess him. When a woman is in love, it seems impossible to part with a man. But after a few days, when the hormones subside, the question of how to quickly come to your senses will no longer arise. Distance affects people who are in a state of love, like a cold shower, it sobers up and brings them to their senses.
Fears and worries
A girl is overcome by various fears during the period of falling in love, if she truly loves.
When falling in love, a woman is afraid of losing a person, even without knowing him completely. It seems to her that he is the best, if she misses him, it will be the main loss in her life. In addition, the girl is afraid that a serious relationship will not work out; the guy will leave her if he finds out the unpleasant details of her life.
Love opens its eyes to the shortcomings of its partner, but the woman is ready to put up with them. During this period, she has completely different fears and concerns. She is afraid that the man will leave her because she loves him. They have formed a way of life, they understand and accept each other, the girl is attached to her partner. She is afraid to destroy her existing life and start all over again with a new person.
Attachment to a lover
Being dependent on a person for love will not bring you happiness, even if he is next to you. Addiction is distinguished from true love or easy love by:
- constant despair, fear, doubt, uncertainty;
- there are no other interests except the object of love;
- the desire to control every step of the beloved;
- dependence on the mood of the partner;
- willingness to tolerate mistreatment and forgive any wrongdoing;
- trying to please in everything.
A girl dependent on her partner makes him responsible for her happiness, demanding constant attention and at the same time violating all permitted boundaries. Her life revolves around her beloved guy, which is why she cannot get him out of her head after breaking up. She doesn’t know where to direct her energy and what to do with her free time, because she has no interests.
How long does it take for a girl to forget a guy?
Sociologists conducted a study in which 300 people participated. The purpose of the study was to find out who experienced unhappy love and how.
After discussing this problem with all those studied, the scientists came to the conclusion that you can forget your ex-loved one only after a time that is half the period of your relationship. That is, as sad as it may sound, if a couple has been together for 5 years, then it takes at least 2.5 years for all the wounds to heal.
This formula is not mandatory, and according to psychologists, the pain from past relationships can subside within 3 months. But especially sensitive people can experience the loss of a relationship for up to 3 years.
Women take longer to forget breakups
Breaking up with a partner and emotions after that can be divided into several stages:
- The first stage is associated with shock and bewilderment from the breakup.
- The second stage entails rebellion and refusal to reconcile with the current situation.
- At the third stage, depression comes, a feeling of guilt for the current situation.
Interestingly, men and women have different feelings about a breakup:
- At the beginning of separation, depression is observed in 75% of men and 25% of women.
- But men cope with negative emotions faster and their psyche is less susceptible to negative consequences.
- Women do not suffer greatly, but the duration of their experiences is usually 2 or even 3 times longer. In addition, such experiences can even develop into severe nervous diseases and psychological trauma in the fair half.
That is, we can say that men do not suffer for long, but are deeply immersed in sad experiences and show them to others. Women do not show their sadness, but they eat themselves up from the inside day by day much longer than men.
Couples can get back together after breaking up
By the way, American scientists have come to the conclusion that 80% of couples who break up and meet again after a while develop very strong relationships. This occurs provided that none of the partners are related by marriage or relationship. But even marriage is not always an obstacle. 60% of people who met their ex-love even leave their husband or wife for the sake of past feelings.
My history
When I was 16 years old, I had my first love. Accordingly, every effort was made on my part to show my sympathy. And the more I tried for the boy, the further he moved away and the more he began to ignore me. And with every attempt I made to return him, he became more frozen. Ultimately, all feelings came to naught.
Naturally, I experienced severe emotional unrest and suffering due to one-sided feelings. At that moment it seemed to me that this was the end of the world, and my life was lived in vain. Such emotions are quite typical for a young age.
But with age, I realized what my mistakes were. As it turns out, you can easily stop loving a guy if you follow simple rules. Read more about them below.
How to quickly forget the ex-boyfriend you love after breaking up: ways
Let's look at options that will help cope with or ease the suffering of separation:
- At first , don't deceive yourself. Admit that the relationship is over and you are hurt and hurt. You shouldn’t hide behind a mask in front of others, because inside you are eating yourself up, no matter how hard you try to seem cheerful and cheerful.
- If you need to be alone with your thoughts, then tell your friends and family about it. Don't try to be in a group if it's difficult for you. Over time, you will be able to return to society again, but do not prolong your stay alone. Otherwise, it may drag you down and you will no longer want to meet with anyone or spend time.
- Don't think about those moments when you had a good time with your ex. Drive away thoughts about positive aspects, as this will lead to aggravation of the situation. In the future, you will be able to simply remember these moments with a smile and warmth, but now it will be salt in the wound.
- The reason for separation is most often quarrels, misunderstandings, and betrayal. Remember these situations, as this will help you realize that you do not need such a life. It is negative situations that can convince you that you have made the right decision and over time you will definitely realize this.
- The main thing is not to blame yourself, even if you often caused scandals or caused a breakup. You need to move on and develop, look for new relationships. If the relationship fell apart, then it was necessary and both partners are equally to blame for this.
Think positively
- Prove to yourself that you have a lot of advantages, and the guy is not worthy of you. You can even write down your strengths on a piece of paper in one column and your ex’s weaknesses in the other. This way you will understand that you have a lot of positive traits that will attract the attention of more than one man. Also, the guy’s negative traits will be revealed to you; perhaps you will see those that you would not be able to come to terms with.
- Think positively. Positive thoughts and actions are the best way to move on from your past relationship. Do charity work, help your loved ones more, and you will see that the gratitude and smiles of your loved ones cleanse your soul of depression.
- Throw away all the things that remind you of your ex - down with all the gifts and photos, away with CDs with your favorite music together and your favorite films.
- Delete his number from your phone, his page from your friends on social networks. Try not to go to his page and don't look at his posts. You should not look for meetings with him, even rare ones, this will not make you feel better, you will only delay the situation in which you will still be left without him. Thus, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to quickly cleanse yourself of mental pain and start a new relationship.
- A great way to distract yourself from painful emotions is a change of environment. Go on vacation, travel. But do not visit the places where you were with your ex. Have a fun time, and you will see that while traveling, positive emotions have numbed your emotional wounds.
Forget your ex
- Look for support from your exes, because family is the closest people who will never betray you. Visit exhibitions and concerts with your family, go shopping with your mother or sister. Friends will also help alleviate your condition - a disco or shopping with friends is fun and a good distraction.
- Schedule your day hour by hour so that you don't have a minute to think. And you came home tired and immediately went to bed. After all, it’s especially hard at night and a lot of thoughts come to mind. If you are not working yet, then find training courses and seminars, find a hobby, for example, knitting, sewing, or sign up for a manicure course. Sport is also a great solution that will help you get a great body and will take time.
- Stay at home less, and on the contrary, go out into the air more often - take a walk in the park, go to the country house or to grandma's. Delicious grandma's and village pies will brighten up your everyday life.
Finally, we advise you not to look for a solution in alcohol. Remember that alcohol is only a temporary relief that spoils your health and is addictive. And women especially quickly get used to alcohol.
Distancei
Stop seeing him. He offered to remain friends and every now and then calls you out when he’s bored? To hell with such friendship!
Cut off any contact with him. If you broke up on a good note, tell him firmly and confidently that you need to be alone. Your resources are depleted and you are unable to maintain friendships. Thank him for all the good things that happened between you and move away.
If a guy pesters you with calls and messages, accuses you of all your sins and continues to cause you suffering, block him on all social networks.
Don't answer his calls and don't call him yourself. Do not write. Don't follow his social media pages. If you have the opportunity, change jobs and avoid attending parties where you might meet him.
If you cannot completely limit communication with him, avoid discussing personal topics. You can communicate on work topics and meet on business, if necessary.
Distance yourself from this guy. To the maximum. It is difficult to forget a person who is an eyesore for you every day.
How to help a teenager? Advice from a psychologist for parents
1. Be as tactful as possible when talking to your child about his feelings. Otherwise, the teenager will withdraw and will no longer share his experiences with you.
2. Don’t give advice that is suitable for adults (change your hairstyle, start doing fitness, etc.) Better try to explain that his feelings remained unrequited not because he is bad (not handsome enough, smart enough, etc.) It’s just that people’s feelings do not always coincide, because we are all different and this is absolutely normal.
3. Try sharing memories of your first love. Tell us that once you, too, did not understand how to survive unrequited love. Be candid when talking about your experience and the lessons you learned from it.
4. If you understand that your personal experience is not interesting to your son or daughter, then switch to stories about the fate of the “stars” in whom he is interested.
5. If you feel that your teenager has almost overcome his inner loneliness, try to get him interested in some new activity, sport, or creativity. You can go on a trip together.
If parents see that they cannot help their child on their own and he is immersed deeper and deeper into experiences, then it is better to turn to a professional psychologist and together with him look for ways out of the current situation.
In general, teenage love is a very broad topic and requires separate study. In this article, we have given only general brief recommendations. Further information presented in the article highlights the problems and relationships of adults.
Why is it so difficult
Falling in love inspires and gives a feeling of euphoria. Experiencing this feeling, a person often embellishes the surrounding reality and endows his loved one with qualities that he does not actually have. It is very difficult to say goodbye to this condition and then be disappointed. The world that the lover has long built around himself is collapsing.
READ How to keep your beloved: what should a guy do if a girl wants to break up with him
But if you work with your consciousness and keep your thoughts under control, you can quickly change the situation. A person can control falling in love. When you find yourself thinking about the object of passion and don’t know how to forget your ex, try to direct this flow in the other direction.
If you can’t do this on your own, seek support from an experienced psychotherapist.
