Crisis of negativism in children at 3 years old

Negativism is a state of rejection, rejection, a negative attitude towards the world, towards life, towards a specific person, and is a typical sign of a destructive position. May manifest as a personality trait or situational reaction. The term is used in psychiatry and psychology. In psychiatry it is described in connection with the development of catatonic stupor and catatonic agitation. In addition, coupled with other manifestations, it is a sign of schizophrenia, including catatonic.

In psychology, this concept is used as a characteristic of the characteristics of the manifestation of age-related crises. It is most often observed in children three years of age and adolescents. The opposite of this state is: cooperation, support, understanding. The famous psychotherapist S. Freud explained this phenomenon as a variant of primitive psychological defense.

The concept of negativism has some similarities with the concept of nonconformism (disagreement), which means the active rejection of generally accepted norms, established order, values, traditions, laws. The opposite state is conformism, in which a person is guided by the attitude of “being like everyone else.” In everyday life, nonconformists usually experience pressure and aggressive behavior from conformists who represent the “silent majority.”

From the point of view of science, both conformism and non-conformism are elements of childish, immature behavior. Mature behavior is characterized by independence. More adult manifestations of behavior are love and care, when a person evaluates his freedom not as the fact that one can not do something, but, on the contrary, one can do something worthy.

Negativism can manifest itself in the perception of life, when a person sees complete negativity in life. This mood is called a negative worldview - when a person perceives the world in dark and gloomy colors, he notices only the bad in everything.

Signs

A person can independently determine the presence of this condition by the presence of the following symptoms:

thoughts about the imperfection of the world;
tendency to worry;
hostile attitude towards people with a positive worldview;
ingratitude;
the habit of living through a problem instead of looking for a way to solve it;
motivation through negative information;
focusing on the negative.

Research by psychologists has made it possible to establish several factors on which negative motivation is based, among them:

fear of running into trouble;
guilt;
fear of losing what you have;
dissatisfaction with your results;
lack of personal life;
the desire to prove something to others.

When communicating with a person who shows signs of this condition, you should be careful and not openly point out to them the presence of this pathology, as they may display a defensive reaction, which will further strengthen their negative perception.

At the same time, each person is able to independently analyze his condition and not allow himself to “fall into negativism.”

Negativism in children. Causes and consequences

The child is growing... Until recently, completely helpless, completely dependent on the will of those around him, he increasingly masters speech, forms his own idea of the world around him, and can clearly express his desires and intentions - both verbally and non-verbally. This makes parents happy; but just at this time - from 2 to 3 years old - they suddenly encounter the childish “I don’t want”... I don’t want - that’s all! I don’t want to get dressed, I don’t want to wash my face, I don’t want to go for a walk... No reasonable reasons can explain a child’s refusal to obey his parents. And many adults are taken by surprise by this new behavior. After all, before this he was so obedient, so willing to do everything he was told! And suddenly - it’s like a wall... The first thing unprepared parents resort to is violence. “You don’t want to get dressed? No, you will get dressed! It is so easy to simply take a child by the hand (or in your arms) and, not paying attention to his reluctance, force him to do what he is protesting against. Or, on the contrary, the mother, exhausted by whims, crying, hysterics, tiredly waves her hand and says: “Well, do what you want...”. This is how the child develops a behavioral stereotype: if it worked the first time, it will work the next time... But will both of these options for adults’ reactions benefit the child? First you need to identify the reasons for his “negative” behavior. And they are quite clear - it is during this period, from 2 to 3 years, that the baby begins to feel like an independent person, separate from his parents, with his own will. If before that he considered himself to be one with his mother, father, grandmother, and even spoke about himself in the third person (“Misha went for a walk”), now it is in this “I don’t want” that he, perhaps, uses the first person for the first time . This suggests that the child begins to become aware of his Self and, not knowing how to explain this to his parents, declares his personal rights, demonstrating his reluctance to obey, even to his own detriment, without, however, having a clear idea of harm and benefit. It turns out, then, that the first manifestations of negativism (and they are also possible at a later age) are a completely natural, logical phenomenon in the development and formation of a child? Yes this is true. And his self-will and disobedience should not cause alarm. But it is also unacceptable to let everything take its course - either to force the child to comply with the parents’ demands, or to indulge him and thereby spoil him. In the first case, a completely weak-willed person can be formed, obeying those around him or circumstances in everything, knowing that they are stronger than him. In the second, there is an experienced manipulator who uses a set of techniques to force everyone to follow his lead... The way out of this dilemma, apparently, is to channel the child’s healthy desire to express himself as an individual in a reasonable direction. What is the “core” of personality, what is the main sign of one’s own self? Freedom of choice, that's obvious. This freedom should be given to the child - in those small, everyday matters that seem to him like whole events and in which he wants to show his will. “You don’t want to get dressed? Okay, get dressed yourself." “Where are we going to walk today – in the yard or in the park?” “Come on, can you brush your teeth yourself? And what pasta will you choose? It seems extremely important for the child to prove - to himself and to others - that he himself can do what his parents have previously done for him, and that he himself can make choices in what concerns him. A reasonable, calm attitude towards the child’s wishes, respect for his emerging personality will help the correct formation of a future full-fledged person, capable of making independent decisions.

Types of negativism

Negative perception can manifest itself in both active and passive form. Active negativism is characterized by open rejection of requests; such people do the opposite, no matter what they are asked for. It is typical for children three years old. Speech negativism occurs quite often at this time.

Little stubborn people refuse to fulfill any requests from adults and do the opposite. In adults, this type of pathology manifests itself in schizophrenia, so patients are asked to turn their face, they turn in the opposite direction.

At the same time, negativism must be distinguished from stubbornness, since stubbornness has certain reasons, and negativism is unmotivated resistance.

Passive negativism is characterized by complete disregard for demands and requests. It is usually present in the catatonic form of schizophrenia. When trying to change the position of the patient's body, he encounters strong resistance, which arises as a result of increased muscle tone.

In addition, behavioral, communicative and deep negativism are distinguished. Behavioral is characterized by refusal to fulfill requests or acting contrary. Communicative or superficial is manifested in the outward manifestation of rejection of someone's position, but when it comes to a specific matter, such people are quite constructive, sociable and positive.

Deep negativism is an internal rejection of demands without external manifestations, which is characterized by the fact that no matter how a person behaves externally, he has a negative prejudice inside

Parents are confused

Not all parents can immediately understand what exactly is happening to their children, who were so sweet and obedient just yesterday. The difficult period of adaptation to schooling is behind us, all the strengths and weaknesses are already known, conclusions have been drawn, it seems that life has just returned to a calm direction. An eleven-year-old child is little different from a ten-year-old in the eyes of his parents. The first bells do not look scary at all. Well, a child lost his temper—it doesn’t happen to anyone. Suddenly he snapped out of the blue - you never know, maybe he had a fight with a friend or was just tired. Suddenly he flatly refused to eat any dish or put on something that just recently he most likely would not have noticed at all. Individual taste awakens - this is normal.

Usually parents begin to notice a problem when the process has already gone too far. There are too many annoying misunderstandings, and they can no longer be attributed to objective reasons or individual characteristics. Notes of negativity begin to dominate in relationships. Whatever the notes are, situations are becoming rather rare when teenagers are not irritated, something has not offended them, they see no reason to object and criticize anything. Any little things suddenly become extremely important, and mainly in order to express your displeasure. Family relationships become a difficult test for all relatives.

Children's whining

The babies of many mammal species often whine to get attention and signal that they are hungry (think of puppies, for example). This is a natural phenomenon, although at times it can get on your nerves

In the case of a newborn, you have no choice but to try to guess what the baby's cry means. However, when the baby has already learned to speak a little, it is advisable to insist that he express himself in words. Most often, it is enough to firmly and without unnecessary emotions tell him: “Tell me in words, I don’t understand your whining.” Sometimes, however, this has to be repeated for several months until the child fully understands the meaning of what was said. Remember that if you give in to whining (and the temptation to do this can be very great), then in the future it will be much more difficult for you to eradicate this habit.

Children's whining

https://youtube.com/watch?v=t9mrvExVvmY

Psychological correction of children's negativism

The most effective in the psychotherapy of children's negativism is play, since this type of activity is the main one at this age. In adolescence, cognitive behavioral therapy can be used, since it is rich in a variety of trainings and, in addition to eliminating negativism itself as a phenomenon, explains the reasons for its occurrence.

For young children and preschoolers, the following types of psychotherapy are quite effective: fairy tale therapy, art therapy, sand therapy, play therapy.

Psychologists have outlined several techniques that parents can use. Let's consider the basic rules for correcting negativism in children:

condemn not the child himself, but his bad behavior, explain why this should not be done;
invite the child to take the place of another person;
tell your child what to do in a conflict or unpleasant situation, what to say and how to behave;
Teach your child to ask for forgiveness to those he has offended.

Rules for parents

To easily survive age-related negativism, parents must raise their child correctly:

Unconditional love. The child should feel that he is loved not for his merits, but just like that.
Actions. It is not the child himself who needs to be condemned, but his actions. At the same time, it is always easy to explain why this cannot be done.
Example. Children perceive “live” information better. Leading by example will be the most effective way of healthy behavior.
Good conquers evil. A child must learn this rule in childhood. When he gets angry, you need to hug him, calm him down, turn the situation around.
No pressure. Under no circumstances should you suppress a child. Suppressed aggression goes deeper and only gets stronger over time.