Why do pregnant women fear childbirth?
Childbirth is a natural physiological process that involves the birth of a child. The birth of a baby, like pregnancy itself, can be associated with many complications, including both pathological manifestations and physiological characteristics. A woman who has given birth before knows how to determine the onset of labor, what to do and how to breathe. But even such knowledge does not free her from the fear of childbirth. There is a risk of complications and unforeseen situations that cannot be predicted in advance.
Causes of fears during pregnancy
The reasons for fears during pregnancy can be very diverse. They can be divided into two types: objective and subjective.
Objective reasons include:
- knowledge of the presence of a disease in oneself or relatives, which can be inherited;
- unfavorable course of the previous pregnancy, miscarriages.
The presence of such reasons indicates a known origin of fears. Discussing them with your doctor will greatly reduce your worries. Consultations, medical observations and examinations may completely eliminate concerns.
Subjective reasons are associated with such individual characteristics of a woman as:
- excessive suspiciousness;
- increased anxiety;
- extreme lack of self-confidence.
Fears during pregnancy can develop against the background of these subjective reasons and are fueled by housing or financial problems, sometimes not a good relationship with the father of the unborn child. The gloomy stories of friends who gave birth also contribute to the negativity. All this adversely affects the development of the baby, as it increases the mother’s anxiety and can lead to insomnia, hysteria and depression. Therefore, the development of such fears must be stopped.
What are pregnant women afraid of before giving birth?
A pregnant woman reacts to fears and uncertainty in the future based on her existing experience, or from what she has heard from friends. In both the first and second cases, you cannot bring the situation on yourself, be afraid of complications or repetitions of troubles. However, fears make themselves felt.
First-time mothers fear for the life of the child the most, multiparous women fear complications, and mothers with many children fear rapid labor.
Painful birth process
Fear of the birth process is natural for most women.
This is especially true for firstborns. A woman who will become a mother is afraid of not recognizing the first contractions in time; it seems that the birth of the baby will take place on the way. The main fears of women giving birth for the first time:
- Don't get to the maternity hospital.
- Contractions will begin in a public place.
- The baby will be in pain during labor.
- There will be no one nearby at the right time to help.
Such experiences are natural, but there is no need to panic. From the moment of the first contraction until the birth of the child in the first birth, at least 8 hours will pass:
- the duration of contractions that can be tolerated is 4-5 hours;
- a period of intense strong contractions, more often than 5 minutes - 2-3 hours;
- pushing – 30-50 minutes.
Sometimes the first birth lasts a day or two.
The birth of an unhealthy child
Ultrasound, screenings and other methods of diagnosing the baby’s health during the period of intrauterine development do not give 100% results.
There remains 1-2% for non-standard situations. Such insignificant percentages of research error give cause for concern to the expectant mother. Even after conducting a lot of research regarding the child’s condition, she will worry about his well-being and health.
This fear will remain with the mother for several months after giving birth. Psychologists say that fear for the child’s health persists in the first 3 months after birth. This behavior is due to the intense production of hormones. Some time after delivery, hormonal levels stabilize.
Lactation promotes the production of not only prolactin in a woman’s body, but also endorphin and oxytocin, which are responsible for the feeling of “happiness”. Therefore, refusal to lactation increases the risk of postpartum depression.
Not enough milk
The first encounter between mother and child is breastfeeding. At this moment, the baby and mother exchange hormones, and the child himself receives the first drops of nutritious and much-needed colostrum.
The fear that milk will not arrive, or that it will not be enough, is also inherent in the level of maternal instinct. In order to normalize lactation it is recommended:
- maintain proper nutrition;
- do not expose yourself to stress;
- refers to lactation as a pleasant and natural component of motherhood.
If you follow the recommendations, there will be enough milk.
The opinion that lactation after cesarean section is weaker and there will be insufficient milk is erroneous. The duration of breastfeeding and the amount of milk directly depends on the amount of breastfeeding: the more often the mother gives breast, the more milk will arrive.
Fear of not being able to cope with the responsibilities of a mother
The existing fear of not being able to cope with your responsibilities as a mother is also quite natural, and every mother who gives birth for the first time or again faces it.
- Experiences of first-time mothers:
- there is no experience, knowledge and practice to provide the baby with what he needs;
- how to understand what the baby wants;
- how to determine what hurts him.
- Women giving birth repeatedly worry that they will not be able to provide full attention to their newborn. This is due to the presence of other children in the family who also need their mother’s love and care.
How to overcome the fear of childbirth and stay positive: tips
These fears and worries are natural for any mother, dictated by the instinct of self-preservation and procreation.
Happy motherhood does not mean everyday holidays, it also means illnesses of the baby and problems with lactation.
In any situation you need to be able to look for the positive sides. How to deal with panic or despair?
Meditation
Meditation or a set of psychological exercises allows you to set yourself up for a positive outcome of any matter and provide your child with an excellent mood. A mother’s good mood is the key to the baby’s excellent well-being.
To master meditation, you don’t have to take courses or attend expensive seminars. It is enough to take a comfortable position, turn on relaxing music and close your eyes. During the rest period, it is worth driving away any thoughts from yourself, concentrating, for example, on a point in the ceiling (mentally). At first it will be difficult to free yourself from thoughts, but over time you will learn to control them, ridding your brain of unnecessary information and thoughts.
Breathing exercises
Breathing exercises are useful both during pregnancy and after it. The main goal of such therapy is to saturate the body’s cells with a sufficient amount of oxygen, reduce muscle tension and normalize the functioning of the nervous system. Breathing system to relieve stress:
- Sit on your haunches or in the lotus position on a flat surface - on the floor.
- Place your palms on your bent knees, your back straight, your shoulders down.
- Press your chin as close to your chest as possible.
- Slowly raise your chin up while taking a deep, even breath. Calculate your breathing in such a way as to take in full lungs of air at the moment when your head is tilted back as far as possible.
- Exhalation is jerky breathing, as if you want to get rid of something, throw it away, push it away. You can use the “h-h-ha” tactic, fitful movements to sharp “ha” during the exhalation period.
In such gymnastics, the main task is to focus on correctly constructed breathing and perform movements as smoothly as possible.
Future wish tree
The wish tree is the simplest and most common option for getting rid of fears.
To do this, you need to create a poster - a large, flat white sheet of paper, approximately A1 size. On this white sheet, draw the mother - you - on one bottom side, and the child, your future baby, on the other. How do you see it? Use your imagination and draw a child with the facial features of your beloved husband and yourself.
There will be a future between mother and baby, what you so wish for the future child - let him have an apartment, a big friendly family, a house, a car, etc. in the future. It’s more convenient not to draw, but to cut it out of newspaper and glue it onto white paper. Leave space on paper, because there will be an idea that you want to put in the baby’s future.
Help from a psychologist
The help of a professional psychologist may also be required if the mother has had an unsuccessful or tragic experience of motherhood in the past. In this case, a woman can unconsciously constantly think, wait and even plan for bad developments. In this case, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist. Qualified help will not only relieve you of worries, but also help you find a way out of a difficult situation.
Fear for the future father: what if he leaves or becomes a bad father?
The birth of a baby entails a change in the entire family structure, and a woman has a million questions. Of course, she turns to her husband with all her problems. Often, in fact, these reasons turn out to be unimportant, so the spouse gets irritated, brushes it off, or treats women’s experiences as whims.
And then the wife begins to feel that he is not ready to be a dad, that he will be a bad father, that he doesn’t care what happens to her and the future baby. However, for the most part, it's really just hormonal changes.
In this situation, it is important for the husband to understand that his wife wants to hear words of support from him, that it is important for her to understand and feel that she is not alone. Many whims are not a whim; it is quite difficult for a woman to cope with her constantly changing mood due to hormones. A man needs to be attentive and forgiving.
A woman also needs to work in this situation. It is important to remember that a spouse is not only a future father, but also a current husband. And you need to look at him first of all as a man.
You also need to take into account the difference in psychology. A man needs specifics, he is not a psychic and, in principle, cannot imagine what pregnancy is. Therefore, requests need to be formulated as specifically as possible (“Help me do this and that”, “Take me to the clinic”, “Let’s go together to...”).
It is advisable to enroll together in courses for future parents, especially during your first pregnancy. This will help you understand each other better.
Is it normal if I am afraid of pain before giving birth?
Concerns about the painful process of giving birth to a child have a basis: childbirth is hard physiological work.
Fear of pain is also natural. Please note that each person has their own individual threshold of sensitivity: for one it is painful to scratch or pierce a finger, and for another, a sprained leg is an unpleasant situation.
Everything is individual, but there is no need to worry. The main thing in childbirth is to listen to the obstetrician, breathe correctly and remember that in a few hours there will be one more person in the world.
Feelings of anxiety and restlessness as manifestations of diseases
When anxiety arises out of nowhere, and the feeling of fear borders on panic, but there is no reason for this, it is worth telling the doctor about it. Especially if a woman has hereditary psychological diseases. Among the most common diseases, accompanied by panic, waves of fear and “heaviness in the soul,” are:
- Panic attack. Occurs in a crowded place for no reason. Women aged 20-35 years are more often susceptible to the disease. Situations of a traumatic nature that occurred the day before contribute to the manifestation of a panic attack.
- Anxiety neurosis is a disease of the psyche and nervous system. Severe stress, nervous overload, inadequate sleep - these are all provoking factors.
Anxiety neurosis does not always manifest itself as an independent disease. As a rule, it accompanies depression, schizophrenia, and phobic neurosis.
- Depression is a disorder of the nervous system. During pregnancy it is aggravated by hormonal changes. Drowsiness, apathy, tearfulness and even suicidal tendencies or thoughts are manifestations for which it is important to consult a doctor.
The feeling of fear is part of the instinct of self-preservation. Experiences and fear of the future are natural companions of a person. You just need to be able to distinguish pathological processes or diseases from ordinary prenatal anxiety.
A couple more small tips
Don't let fear darken your bright expectation. Think about your social circle, break unnecessary ties with envious colleagues and acquaintances. But don’t rush to extremes, believing common superstitions about evil eyes, threads, etc. Walk more in the fresh air, since staying at home and an overly sedate lifestyle are natural companions of depression. Read books - it helps to distract yourself. You can start preparing the room for the child, purchasing new things - this will help in some way to understand motherhood. If anxiety does not go away, and you notice that obsessive anxiety is getting worse, you should consult a psychologist.
We also recommend reading: Preparing for pregnancy after 30
