Principles of Emotional Intelligence Emotions play an important role in decision making.
Therefore, it is necessary to be able to manage both your own and others’ feelings in order to achieve your goals and plans. For this purpose, the term emotional intelligence .
What does emotional intelligence mean?
The term refers to a person’s ability to recognize the emotional component of other people. The concept also includes managing personal experiences. This influence is widely used to solve practical problems in business, work, and education.
EI is a fundamental element in assessing the environment. Helps to determine what people need, to know their strengths and weaknesses.
Models of emotional intelligence
There are 3 varieties that differ in their components.
Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Model of Abilities
It is considered the main one today.
Elements:
- perception of emotions: through gestures, facial expressions, voice, behavior, appearance, gait;
- understanding impressions: determining the reasons for their appearance, considering the connection between thoughts and emotions, complex feelings;
- emotionality as a stimulus for thinking: the ability to activate creativity as a motivation factor;
- management of experiences: their awakening, direction, taming, building logical chains.
Goleman mixed model
Based on it, three tests were created: ECI, ESCI, ESCI-U.
The concept is based on the following elements:
- Self-control - managing your feelings, adapting to changes in circumstances.
- Self-knowledge is the recognition of personal emotionality. Understanding how feelings influence behavior and thoughts.
- Sociality is the concept of sensitivity of other people and comfortable communication.
- Empathy is a pleasant influence that provides direction and inspiration, supporting good relationships.
- Motivation is knowledge of the goal, plan, clear adherence to them at every stage.
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Model Ruvena Bar-On
This socio-emotional model is distinguished by a large number of indicators.
These include:
- awareness: recognizing one’s experiences at a specific moment, distinguishing them and understanding them;
- independence: lack of moral dependence on other people;
- stress resistance: taming emotions and seeing a quick way out of difficult situations;
- flexibility: the ability to adjust emotions in changing circumstances;
- optimism: maintaining a positive attitude and hope for a successful resolution of problems;
- happiness: satisfaction with all aspects of life;
- empathy: understanding the feelings of others;
- self-esteem: the ability to rationally assess opportunities;
- self-expression: clarity in expressing feelings and thoughts, firmness of convictions;
- social responsibility: the ability to exercise care and control over others;
- interpersonal relationships: comfortable communication and social contacts;
- impulse control: managing temptations, overcoming them;
- assessment of reality: objective correlation of thoughts and feelings in the external world;
- problem solving: ability to identify potential solutions in an effective manner;
- self-actualization: realizing individual potential.
The relationship between emotional intelligence and socio-psychological adaptation
A person is able to adapt not only through acquired knowledge, but also with the help of his own sensitive component.
When analyzing scientific works in the field of EI, it was concluded that it is defined as a set of emotional and cognitive abilities for the socio-psychological adaptation of the individual.
Social and psychological adaptation is considered from the point of view of internal and external criteria. Thus, people with different levels of EI differ greatly in the characteristics of socio-psychological adaptation.
Intrapersonal EI plays a dominant role in a person’s adaptive capabilities. Interpersonal interaction has less ability to quickly adapt.
People with a high level of EI are considered the most adapted. This is due to greater personal satisfaction, which gives confidence and purposefulness in life situations.
Levels and types
Emotional intelligence begins to develop from birth. A child can distinguish between a mother’s smile and tears, showing different feelings. The formation of emotional intelligence occurs in 4 levels:
- Expressing and recognizing emotions. First, a person begins to distinguish emotions on the faces of others - joy, pain, delight. Gradually, the individual learns to distinguish between different types of feelings and begins to understand how to recognize a fake or sincere smile.
- Assessing emotions. The individual begins to compare the emotions that other people show with previously acquired knowledge. This is how a person learns to draw relationships between individual feelings.
- Using feelings in reasoning. During this period, the individual begins to understand emotions from the inside. A person analyzes them, finds out where they come from, under what conditions. An understanding comes that a persistent expression of joy can hide inner pain, fear can hide behind anger, and anger arises against the backdrop of betrayal, deception, and injustice.
- The highest level of development of emotional intelligence. At this stage, the ability to control and manage feelings is formed. With the help of self-regulation, you can change the emotional state of other individuals. For example, such skills are useful in conflict situations, when you need to calm down an argumentative person, cool down his anger and aggression.
Psychologists say that the development of emotional intelligence is not determined by the process of growing up.
How to develop emotional intelligence
A high level of EI determines a person’s well-being in life. A clear and well-functioning connection between emotional and rational activities is the source of EI. If you do not belong to the group of people with a high level of it, then it is worth starting development.
Improvement should be aimed at increasing the level of its individual elements:
- Self-perception.
- Managing yourself.
- Social sensitivity.
- Relationship management.
With the harmonious work of each of them, a high level of EI as a whole will be ensured.
Optimism
If you want to increase your capabilities, improve your relationships and think clearly and constructively, you are in the best position to maintain a positive mood. Of all the things we try to control, our behavior is the main thing that is always under our control. We can choose to live each day positively. It's that simple.
“When we are happy, our thinking and mood are positive, we are smarter, more motivated, and so more successful. Happiness is in the middle, and success revolves around it." — Shawn Achor
Development of self-management skills
Taking responsibility for your own emotions provides control in difficult situations.
Ways to develop a skill:
- Proper breathing: lack or excess of oxygen has a bad effect on brain activity. Try to take measured inhalations and exhalations. Avoid increasing or decreasing your pace even in stressful situations. Harmonious breathing gives confidence and calmness in subsequent actions, allowing you to quickly collect your thoughts.
- List of emotions and their explanations: it should consist of two columns - a call to action from each feeling, a rational definition. In a difficult situation, to avoid panic, use this technique to put your thoughts in order. The list allows you to decide which aspect of your personality is worth using at a certain moment.
- Counting to ten: in difficult situations, use the technique of counting as you exhale. This allows me to stop and collect myself at the right moment.
- Publicly declaring goals: is the best motivator for action.
- Put off making decisions: carefully digest the information in your head. The saying fits perfectly here: the morning is wiser than the evening.
- A clear daily routine in which there is room for problem solving.
- Attend seminars and coaching on emotion management.
- Keep a positive attitude.
- Improved sleep quality.
- Know the value of communicating with any person.
- Use a psychological reboot during the day: yoga, meditation, and walks in the fresh air are suitable for this.
- Realize the possibility and imminence of change.
Development of social sensitivity
Focusing on identifying and understanding other people's emotions has a great impact on all areas of life.
Tips for increasing social interaction:
- Greeting people by name: This helps remove barriers to communication.
- Timeliness: Keep in mind that the path to social sensitivity through timeliness is through focusing on others rather than on your own personality.
- Watch your body language: develop it with the help of appropriate books.
- Using prepared questions: allows you to quickly get out of a situation of awkward silence. Use an abrupt change of topic.
- Move aside your internal dialogue: It’s difficult to perceive your own thoughts at the same time as those of others. Distinguish between these concepts.
- Live in the present: be present in the current moment.
- Study EI using films as an example: consider any film as a guide to emotional communication.
- Observe people: consider their habits, signals, mood.
- Put yourself in someone else's shoes: this allows you to look at communication from a different point of view.
Needs and desires
An emotionally intelligent mind can differentiate between things they need and things that would be nice to have. Needs according to Abraham Maslow's hierarchy are ordinary things like safety, survival and means of survival. Once these things are in place, you can move on to the rest of your needs and desires, of course.
“I want” is a big house, a beautiful car and even a new iPhone. We don't need these things to survive, but rather we want them because of our personal desires and what we think is important to society. Become knowledgeable about what you really need to live, achieve your goals, and support yourself and those around you. Make sure you have a clear distinction between what you need and what you want.
Emotionally intelligent people differentiate between these things, and establish needs before satisfying wants.
Development of relationship management skills
Any relationship requires constant effort to maintain it.
Tips for properly understanding relationships and their management:
- Open up to people and new things: In addition to your day job, be sure to focus on maintaining connections with other people.
- Use the words “thank you”, “sorry”, “please” more often.
- Use anger only in appropriate situations.
- Improve the quality of your individual communication style: evaluate your style using the ratings of your friends. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Use the former more often and develop the latter.
- Build trusting relationships.
- Show you care.
- Avoid mixed signals: keep the meaning of your words in harmony with your body language.
- Learn to correctly perceive other people's nonverbal signals.
- Acknowledge and capture the emotions of others.
- When making decisions, explain them.
Faith
A major component of maintaining emotional self-control is the power of faith to believe in yourself, both in the present and in the future. It's trusting that the people and things in your life are there for a reason and that everything will work out.
Faith alone will not help you. She needs action, of course. But when you mix faith with values like hard work, persistence and a positive attitude, you build the foundation for a champion. Every great leader uses faith, whether practically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Meditate. Think about how you believe in yourself. Put strong faith in the person you are and the person you want to become. And believe that everything will work out in your life in such a way that you will live boldly and joyfully.
Emotional intelligence of a leader: how to develop and apply. Emotional Intelligence in Business
A person's leadership qualities directly depend on his emotional intelligence.
The manager must have:
- accurate perception and management of one’s own and others’ emotions;
- knowledge and understanding of the causes of experiences and impressions;
- using the emotional component to solve problems.
A manager’s emotional intelligence allows him to build long-term relationships, recruit and maintain a strong team, create a positive environment in the team, make clear decisions, and manage stressful situations.
The best and most successful leaders are those who fully possess the characteristics of high EI. This person knows emotions exactly, knows how to handle them and build a relationship with the thinking center.
The development of a leader’s EI is carried out both in general terms and in the leadership direction. Previously, increasing the level of EI for each person was discussed. In addition to these tips, the manager must also adhere to the following rules:
- Look at success in the long term.
- Inspire people.
- Persevere through all tests.
- Build only a strong team around yourself.
Using these skills allows you to improve the quality of interaction both within yourself and among the people around you.
You can read in more detail about the EI of a leader in the book of the same name by David Caruso and Peter Salovey.
Formation mechanism and functions
Emotional intelligence and the emotional sphere of personality are two related concepts. They form and develop simultaneously. When studying any of these aspects, the other must be taken into account.
Emotional intelligence begins to develop from birth. The activity of development depends on the influence of external stimuli and contacts with society. Without them, development will be hampered.
The most significant stages of strengthening EI are school and adolescence.
Scientists have proven that in children under 6 months of age, the expression of emotions is associated with the satisfaction of physical needs. After six months, the pace of mental development accelerates, and the range of feelings expands.
Functions of emotional intelligence:
- Self management. A person can control his behavior and feelings. If necessary, he is able to take the initiative into his own hands and change the situation to achieve results. An individual can change behavior in order to adapt to current circumstances and follow obligations.
- Relationship management. A person knows how to communicate with others, show sincerity, work successfully in a team, guide others, inspire, motivate to achieve a goal.
- Social consciousness. To establish contact with other people, a person must learn to understand the needs and desires of others, and be able to respond to emotional signals.
- Self-awareness. A person is aware of his own emotions, understands how they influence his behavior and train of thought. It is easier to remain confident in yourself if you know your own strengths and weaknesses.
Books and films about emotional intelligence
To develop personal EI, you should turn to the most effective books.
These include:
- “Emotional Intelligence” by D. Goleman;
- “Taming the Amygdala” by D. Arden;
- “The Power of Empathy” D. Ebenstein;
- “Emotional intelligence of a leader” by D. Caruso, P. Salovey;
- “Emotional intelligence in negotiations” R. Fisher;
- “Emotional Leadership” D. Goleman, R. Boyatzis, E. McKee.
To increase the level of EI, you can use not only literature, but also cinematography. Effective and useful films include:
- The Truman Show 1998;
- Shawshank Redemption 1994;
- Life is Beautiful 1997;
- The Pursuit of Happiness 2006;
- Planet Ka-Pax 2001;
- Bicentennial Man 1999.
Analytical thinking
The most emotionally intelligent and determined people are deep thinkers who analyze and process all new information that comes to them. They continue to analyze old information, habits and ways of doing things to see where they can improve. We are all “analysts” in the sense that we consciously think about all the new information that comes our way.
Reasonable people with EQ are daily problem solvers and contemplaters of the meaning of existence, why we do what we do, and who cares about living a virtuous life. Having an analytical mind means having a healthy appetite for continuous improvement thinking, focused on improving yourself and always remaining open to new ideas.
Interesting facts about emotional intelligence
- In the absence of proper control over what is happening, the human brain is capable of finding non-existent patterns, looking for connections between pictures that do not correlate with each other, and even believing in conspiracy theories.
- There is a certain connection between a person’s emotional state and clothing. Thus, women who are in a depressed mood prefer baggy clothes and jeans. With a positive attitude, they choose beautiful dresses, jewelry and look more elegant.
- Emotions are contagious. This way, negative emotions have a greater impact on others and can be adopted by them. Neutral and positive ones are significantly inferior to them in this sense.
Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in all areas of a person. Increasing its level contributes to personal well-being and satisfaction. To improve EI skills, you need to constantly improve yourself with the help of books, films, live communication and observation of others.
How to measure your EQ
To determine your level of emotional intelligence, you need to analyze your behavior. It's worth considering a low EQ if you:
- you are constantly offended and do not know how to forgive others;
- you often think that you are misunderstood;
- can't cope with stress;
- you don’t understand what you feel and why;
- criticize others and argue to no avail;
- you are afraid of change and take a long time to adapt to new things.
These are general signs, and almost anyone can recognize themselves in them, so psychologists are trying to figure out how to digitize a person’s emotions and create the most objective test possible, as they did with IQ. At the moment, the most popular way to change EQ is the MSCEIT (The Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence) technique. It helps measure emotional skills and consists of 141 questions. The subject is shown pictures with emotions that need to not only be identified, but also explained. If you don't have time for serious research, take our five-minute test. We don’t promise an objective result, but it will be funny.