A child is afraid to sleep alone: ​​reasons, advice and recommendations from psychologists

Why is your baby afraid to sleep?

Fears arise for many reasons. This may be overexcitation, overdeveloped imagination, strong attachment to parents, place of sleep and other factors. Many of them may seem far-fetched and banal. But it won't hurt to know the full list of possible causes of restless nights and phobias before going to bed in your own crib. Let's divide the main reasons for fear according to the age of the children.

Infant

Children from birth to 1.5–2 years of age show a negative attitude toward sleeping without their mother for the following reasons:

• The baby is cold and hungry.
• The baby is pissing himself, but mom doesn’t notice his wet panties.
• I'm used to being held in my arms all day. Without feeling the warmth of someone else's body, he cannot fall asleep.
• The newborn was overexcited: he did not sleep for too long or played noisily before bed.
• The baby has colic, stomach pain and gas.
• The bed is uncomfortable. Breasts are uncomfortable in a spacious bed, or the mattress is not suitable in terms of hardness.
• The baby got sick. There doesn't have to be a fever; perhaps he just feels unwell.
• The baby is used to sleeping in his parents' bed.

On a note! Children should sleep in a separate bed from birth. This is normal from the point of view of hygiene and the psychology of raising an independent personality. Place the cradle near you at night.

At 3–4 years old, you can carefully move your baby into a separate room.

Children from 2 to 6 years old

This is a period of rapid development of the kindergartener’s imagination and independence. He communicates a lot with his peers, other adults, and watches TV. An immature nervous system provokes fears due to the following factors:

• The baby sees monsters under the bed. This is due to the wild imagination of children.
• Lack of attention from parents. The little one started going to kindergarten and sees his mother less often.
• The baby is raising its parents. More often, parents of 3-year-old children face a test of endurance when another age-related crisis occurs under the motto “I’m on my own!” The child dictates to his mother where he will sleep and when he needs to go to bed.
• Unbearable mental load. After 3 years, kindergarteners attend clubs, dance, sing, learn English, that is, they actively develop under the strict supervision of their parents. By the age of 6, you need to learn to read, count, and take a course for a future first-grader using an enhanced scheme. It is difficult for an unformed psyche to withstand such a load. As a result, self-doubt and fears are formed.

On a note! Often young children do not understand exactly what feeling they experience at night. From fear, the heart beats quickly, breathing becomes difficult, and the desire to run to mom appears.

Talk about what fears and nightmares are with your 4-5 year old child. Explain that fear of something is a normal human reaction, you need to cope with it, and not hide under your mother’s blanket.

Junior schoolchildren from 7–8 to 10 years old

This is a time of enormous changes in life.

The reason for fear may lie in the following:

• Anxiety related to school. Most often, first and fourth graders are at risk for sleep disorders. For the former, the reason for anxiety is getting to know a new team, the academic load, for the latter - final exams from primary school and entering the secondary level, where there will be new teachers, difficult subjects.
• Socialization. After kindergarten, children spend more time alone, meet new people, make friends at school and in the yard. On this path, difficulties and misunderstandings with peers may arise. Children need parental support.
• Watching “adult” programs and movies. In the absence of parents, and even with them, children watch horror films, scary cartoons, and have nightmares at night.
• Computer games. Walking and fighting monsters have a negative impact on the baby’s psyche.

In addition, there are several other causes of night phobias that are not related to age. This:

1. Life changes. Moving to another city, to a new apartment, changing the decor in the room, another bed, and so on.
2. Psychological situation in the family. Most often, phobias are formed due to frequent quarrels between parents, especially if they occur at night. Children hear that mom and dad are sorting things out, they don’t understand what’s happening. The next night they find it difficult to sleep; they want to be close to mom and dad to prevent a quarrel.
3. Ailments of the central nervous system, mental health. Restless nights often accompany children with mental and neurological diseases (autism, schizophrenia, ASD, hyperactivity).
4. Psychological trauma. This is fear, surviving fires, earthquakes, wars. Newborn babies may be frightened by loud noises.
5. Baby's temperament. Phlegmatic people are more sensitive to changes, separation from mother, and noisy games in the evening than choleric people.

On a note! You need to immediately wean your baby from going to his parents at night or being whimsical in his own bed. If the mother agrees to the baby’s terms several times, then the next nights she will definitely sleep in the toddler’s arms. The baby will understand that he can manipulate his parents.

Trouble has come - close the gate

To start fighting fear, you first need to understand its origin. Psychologists have identified two main types of fear of being alone at home:

• autophobia – fear of loneliness;
• topophobia – fear of indoor spaces.

Let's take a closer look at these concepts.

AUTOPHOBIA is a very common mental disorder. A person suffering from it is terrified of being left alone. It is advisable to treat this disease in the early stages, otherwise there is a danger that the person will commit suicide, unable to cope with fear. According to statistics, it is among autophobes that there is a high percentage of suicides.

The main cause of this phobia is the fear of abandonment. This comes from childhood. Trying to stop the child’s hysteria, the parent declares: “if you don’t stop, I will leave you and go away.” This phrase can leave an indelible mark on a child’s psyche. And in adulthood, a person develops a phobia of loneliness, a fear of being abandoned. Less commonly, the following factors can cause fear: a painful breakup in a relationship, where your partner blames you for the breakup, or the death of a loved one, when the bitterness of loss is already clouding your mind.

It is impossible to give an exact list of reasons for the fear of being alone at home, but let’s try to identify the main ones:

Lack of attention in infancy. The mother had little contact with the child and did not approach him for a long time when he was crying. The less time a child is given in early childhood, the greater the likelihood of developing a phobia of being alone.

Education of personal qualities. The child is left to his own devices. Adults do not pay attention to his psychological state and development.

Alone with myself. The child was often threatened with abandonment (left somewhere, given to an uncle, sent to a boarding school); they were locked alone in a dark room as punishment for wrongdoing.

Bad Company. Lack of attention in the family, the child tries to get it outside, often ending up in a bad environment.

Difficulties of adolescence. Without receiving the necessary moral support and love from their parents during the transition period, children are traumatized for life.

Family issue. Growing up, a person is afraid of not having time to start a family and a child for some reason, and is horrified at the thought of being completely late with this issue.

Misplaced gullibility. Fearing being left alone, a person quickly becomes attached to unreliable people who can take advantage of his gullibility for their own benefit.

Fear of losing a spouse. A person is horrified by the death or betrayal of a close friend, loved one or spouse. Self-esteem problem. Such a problem can cause a lack of contact with others and, as a result, dooms a person to forced loneliness.

Love is gone. A serious breakup, betrayal, deception in a past relationship leaves its mark on a person, forcing him to show distrust to all persons of the opposite sex.

Memory notebook. The hardest thing to forget is the negative events in your life. At the most inopportune moments, our memory likes to throw up memories of fiascos we have experienced, of the mental discomfort of being alone.

Career boom. The desire of today's people to build a career and self-realization leaves practically no space or time for any kind of relationship. This automatically condemns a person to loneliness and forms phobias.

Do not forget that this is by no means a complete list, because there are so many problems. And in some cases, it is generally impossible to accurately determine the cause of the fear of being alone at home. After all, when a person is left at home alone, he remains there along with all his traumas and problems - you cannot run away from yourself. And not everyone is able to cope with them and overcome them without outside help. If you do not provide such a person with timely help, his own home may seem like hell for him.

Age-related characteristics of fear

Night terrors most often begin in children after 3 years of age and end at 10–11 years of age. In some cases, the child is afraid to sleep alone from birth. If phobias and visits to mother’s bed at night continue in a teenager after 11 years of age, you need to seek psychological help.

Also, to find out the causes of fear, it is necessary to analyze when the child began to be afraid, which could provoke the phobia. Every age has moments like this. Let's give a few examples when fear is a normal reaction to growing up or changes in life or care.

On a note! Dr. Komarovsky considers night terrors in children from 3 to 9 years old to be normal if they do not constantly exhaust the child and parents. He advises you to seek help from a psychotherapist if nightmares and hysterics intensify and become more frequent; any non-drug methods of calming and training to sleep separately do not help.

How to overcome the fear of the dark

This question worried me until I had children myself! And it's all about the older brother and sister, who were very bored in the evening without their parents and decided to play a joke. It was evening, there was nothing to do - they turned off the machines and covered themselves with a sheet to pretend to be a ghost. Naturally, at the age of 6–7 years old, I was very scared of this. And it all ended with a fear of the dark for many years.

From my own experience, I know that words like “don’t drift” and jokes on this topic do not help, but only aggravate the condition. Therefore, until you set a goal to free yourself from this fear, it will not go away. For this there must be either a clear goal or a strong motivator.

For me, a small child became such a motivator when he needed to be washed in the middle of the night and treated. There is nothing to do - you need to overcome your fear and go through the terrible darkness. At first it was not an easy test, I constantly said out loud (while the child was small and my husband was at work) that there was nothing to be afraid of, I was distracted by singing or talking with the baby.

Then gradually this fear passed. But it wasn't easy for me. To help yourself in getting rid of fear, you need to work hard and fruitfully. But I did it! And now I will help you overcome it.

Psychologist's advice

Now I will systematize all the psychologist’s advice that is applicable in this case, and I will describe the most effective and working ones.

How to help yourself

Self-help is the most common thing people do with this condition. And it is right. They take responsibility for the problem and the way out of it.

Comfortable position and analysis

If you have already decided to remove the fear of the dark, devote as much time as possible to this - as much as work and household responsibilities allow.

Take a comfortable position, try to remember what led to the development of fear. Remember in detail, with all the colors - this is already a step towards overcoming fears. Remember your location, your words or actions. What stopped you from expressing them?

Clearly imagine a picture where there is you and another person who scared you. What he did or said.

This, by the way, is the most painful stage. Some people have such past experiences that you can’t even imagine. At this stage, many people give up and go to a specialist - and that’s good! It’s cool when people don’t give up on something they started, but try to solve the problem in every possible way.

We struggle with the fruits of wild imagination

Sometimes, after horror films or other Hollywood creations, even a brave adult feels uneasy when he has to enter a dark room. What can we say about susceptible and impressionable people?! By the way, after that incident I rarely watch cloudy and heavy films. I just have a wild imagination.

Often fear arises from the idea that there may be otherworldly phenomena and creatures in a dark room. In this case, go towards the fear: in a weak light, look at the room, feel the objects, and make sure from your own experience that there are definitely no extraterrestrial forces here.

Positive thinking

It is quite difficult to overcome the fear of the dark in adults if they themselves do not want to work on themselves. How it turned out for me: I cherished him until I had to forget about him once and for all. When a person decides to change his thinking, change his behavior, tries to think positively, then no ghosts or shadows are scary.

How to think positively in this case? Before entering a room or dark room, say to yourself: “I feel confident, I am calm and happy, now I will take the desired item without difficulty or worry.” These are affirmations that will help you tune in to calm behavior without fear or anxiety.

Let me point out right away for those who want to find magic advice here that will immediately get rid of fear in 5 minutes - you won’t find it! All the anxieties that have accumulated over the years do not go away in one moment. This is working on yourself: your behavior and thinking!

Get enough sleep!

I noticed that people’s anxiety increases when they don’t get enough sleep, fatigue accumulates and all sorts of ghosts begin to appear, rustling sounds are heard, an ordinary chair in the dark is already perceived as an object of fear and anxiety.

Therefore, my advice to you is to get enough sleep! Your sleep schedule helps you prolong your youth, restore the health of your spine, nervous system and other systems, and get rid of anxiety and unnecessary worry. With a cheerful body, you will receive a cheerful spirit, which will give you strength and courage to enter a dark room.

How to help your child

It's no secret that more than half of children are afraid of the dark. In adolescence, such people are taken “weakly” and laughed at. And those who make fun of them are secretly very afraid of dark corners in the room. We've been through this, we know. But how to raise confident children without this fear? After all, it really interferes with life. For example, it really paralyzed me, and I couldn’t fully do what I wanted.

The good news: children have a flexible psyche and even if there is a strong traumatic situation, it is easier to work with them and achieve results.

Important: it is still better to do this with a specialist, so as not to harm the child.

So, how can you help children not be afraid of dark corners, rooms and spaces?

The child is afraid of the dark

Talk

Dear parents, the solution to any problem for your child should begin with a conversation! Even if the conversation is unpleasant, even if you don’t have time, even if the child does not open up and you have already gathered all your strength and eloquence into a heap, but there is little result - still talk to the child! Create a trusting environment so that your son or daughter can voice their fears. It is important.

During the conversation, you will understand whether he is in real danger in a dark room. If, for example, he goes into his bedroom, doesn’t see the corner of the table and constantly bumps into it, of course, he won’t want to go there with the lights off - who likes to get bumps over and over again?

Talk and you will understand what exactly the child/teenager is afraid of. And then you can take action. Or maybe you’ll find out something you didn’t know about your child before...

Room lighting

Until the age of seven, children may be afraid of the dark. And this is the norm. It is difficult for them to fall asleep alone, their imagination “comes to life” and they remember various characters from cartoons and films. Some wake up and cry in the middle of the night because they could not defeat the evil heroes.

Don’t repeat the mistake of many parents - don’t pretend that you don’t care, and don’t laugh at his fears, no matter how absurd they may seem to you.

Anxiety in the dark is very real for little people. Give your child a beautiful night light with stars that shines on the ceiling, or a flashlight. Play up this gift. Tell them that they can only use it when necessary. In our family, we used garlands in the shape of butterflies - both festive and not scary!

Rules in the family

Make sure that there are no “babakas”, bedtime stories where “a little gray wolf will come and bite you on the side.”

I have always been amazed by Russian folk art, where adults themselves instilled fears in their children from the cradle. And then: “Oh-oh-oh, why is my Fedenka so afraid of the dark?!” Where can you stop being afraid of monsters in the dark, when the tops come and the old man carries you away?

Agree with all the adults in the family that you don’t have “scarecrows” or stupid bedtime songs. Then the child will be more comfortable falling asleep in his room. Your sleep will be calm, complete and healthy.

Discuss “bad heroes” together

In general, it’s better not to look at them. But the realities of life are such that you don’t always keep up with your child, what he watched and when. Therefore, try to always discuss evil/bad heroes. If these are caterpillars from “Luntik”, then explain to the baby that, unfortunately, they do not have a mother and father who could raise them correctly.

Well, if a child saw some “glowing eyes” or heroes with terrible superhuman abilities and was traumatized by this, then he will have to spend time and money on a specialist. After all, such an experience can even be dangerous - occult practices are sometimes promoted in some media. An unstable child's psyche may simply be unprepared for such information.

Art therapy

A very effective way to “cure” children of fears is through drawings and images of their own fears.

Ask your child to draw his fear: what he looks like, what exactly he fights with, what kind of teeth he has, and so on. Then play - add something to it or paint it over (so that your new stroke covers the drawing). Say that “for every force there is a counterforce.” At the end, you can tear up or burn the drawing together and comment: “We conquered your fear!”

Exercises

Several exercises will help you stop being afraid to sleep in the dark, go into a dark room, and stay there.

The struggle is growing

To overcome nyctophobia, it is recommended to train the body with gradual “loads” of darkness. The essence of the exercise is this: you go into a dark room and stand there until it becomes too scary. While you are standing, count to 5, 10, 20, etc. Who can stand how long.

The next day or every other day you repeat this action, only the previous seconds need to be multiplied by 2. For example, if yesterday you counted to 10 and then went out into the light, then today you count to 20. At first, some people find it unbearable to be in such a room. But with training, the time spent increases and the person becomes a habit. Then the fear goes away.

Breathe deeper

When you are faced with the need to walk through dark rooms, try to catch your breath in time. To do this, breathe deeply up to 10 times as slowly as possible. A slow pace of breathing restores all processes in the body, promotes normal brain function and relief from anxiety and restlessness.

Use algorithms

Action algorithms help a person feel safe, since he knows what follows what, plans the distribution of energy and waste of resources. When a person is afraid, all physical and emotional processes work in intense mode. And when he follows a pre-drawn plan, he does not have to strain.

The same applies to the fear of the dark. An approximate algorithm for preparing a person for sleep:

• goes to bed;
• reads an interesting book in bright light;
• turns on the night light, turning off the main lighting;
• wishes good night to loved ones offline or online;
• then turns off the night light.

Gradual immersion in darkness helps to get rid of fear and peacefully fall asleep. Such an algorithm will help over time to reach the level of the habit of calmly falling asleep with the lights off and stop being afraid of sleeping in the dark.

With the help of a specialist

Not all fears can be overcome on your own. Sometimes there is a need for specialist help. If the anxiety does not go away, there was a strong psychological trauma, the fear lasted a long time and is no longer controlled by consciousness, do not waste time - go to a specialist.

A neurologist, psychotherapist, or psychologist can help you with this issue. In some cases, pharmacological assistance is required to support the nervous system.

Expert help

Sergey Litan

Psychologist, psychoanalyst, researcher

Ask a Question

Hello, my name is Sergey. I am an expert in the field of psychology and psychoanalysis. I work by passion and love my job. I specialize in depression and anxiety. Over 20 years of practice, I have helped hundreds of people get their results: get out of depression, regain joy in life, put their inner state in order, get rid of fears, phobias and panic attacks. Years of research have allowed me to find the most effective “tools” for solving almost any situation and life scenario.

Tell me about your problem and I will help you.

Books

I have put together a selection of books that can help you overcome fear or at least look at your problem from the outside:

1. “The gift of fear. How to recognize danger and respond correctly” Gavin de Becker.
2. “Be Afraid... But Take Action: How to Turn Fear from an Enemy to an Ally” by Susan Jeffers.
3. “Monsters under the bed: How to help your child overcome any fears” by Monse Domenech.
4. "I'm not afraid of darkness!" Helena Kharashtova.
5. “How to get rid of fear” Oleg Dimitrov.

How to combat nyctophobia with online courses

In addition to self-help, professional help, and exercises, there are great videos and techniques to help you overcome your fear of the dark and worry about the dark.

Video course How to get rid of fear once and for all - these are effective lessons that highlight the causes of fear and techniques for defeating it. Cost – 990 rub. The course will help:

• find out what awaits you when you get rid of anxiety;
• get to know the mistakes that cause anxiety;
• recognize the difference between a natural reaction to danger and disturbing anxiety;
• Find out how to get rid of anxiety forever.

The author of the course is Denis Shvetsov, an expert on human psychology and emotional state.

“Anti-Fear” First Aid Kit – here you will find information about simple techniques for getting rid of fear, which can be applied at any time. Cost – 292 rubles.

The course helps you learn:

• how to cope with anxiety;
• how to get rid of phobias;
• methods of dealing with anxiety;
• proper breathing techniques for recovery.

The author of the course is Alexander Zhurakovsky, a specialist in working with complex emotional states.

Master class 15 ways to get rid of fears - here you are given effective methods of dealing with fears.

You will learn:

• effective techniques for dealing with anxiety;
• ways to restore peace and tranquility;
• methods of getting rid of the fear of the unknown;
• reasons for fears.

The author of the master class is Alexander Zhurakovsky.

Cost – 949 rubles. There are discounts.

The Brain Detoxification course from Vikium is 10 lessons for a complete “brain rewiring”.

The course will help:

• clear the mind;
• learn to concentrate on what is important;
• reduce tension levels;
• sleep and rest better;
• get rid of toxic thoughts.

The author of the course is Viktor Shiryaev, an expert in developmental psychology and integral philosophy.

Cost – 1,490 rubles.

Read also:  Headaches in pregnant women in the first trimester

The video course How to quickly cope with fear and anxiety provides simple and effective techniques for the complete restoration of the nervous system.

Cost – 800 rub.

You will learn how to:

• eliminate anxiety as soon as it appears;
• eliminate life traumas;
• think positively.

The author of the course is Sergey Davidenko, a specialist in getting rid of anxiety and fear.

How to get rid of fear

If a child is afraid to fall asleep in his crib, parents need to become more attentive to the baby.

Ask your three-year-old why he is afraid to sleep alone, what worries him. Make a daily schedule and follow it strictly. Don't fall for childish tricks.

To solve the problem, you need to eliminate the cause of fears and arrange for the baby to sleep in a separate room. Pity and laziness are inappropriate here. Staying in a separate bed without a mother, in the nursery all night, is an important stage in raising a full-fledged personality. Otherwise, your son or daughter will grow up soft-bodied, indecisive, and mumble.

Childhood fears

The child is afraid to sleep at night because he is scared. Fears are different: some are associated with personality characteristics and general well-being, others are determined by society, family environment, social environment, others are due to the development of the psyche or are considered age-related, which are inherent in each individual.

Fear is an emotion of survival that mobilizes all the body’s forces in the face of real or possible danger. In other words, it is a necessary emotion. When the baby grows up, parents themselves teach him to be afraid of electrical outlets, hot irons, and the like. However, if this feeling is intrusive and there are no prerequisites for it, then it negatively affects him, disturbing peace and sleep.

Advice from psychologists

Recommendations from psychologists are aimed at creating a comfortable emotional environment for going to bed and overcoming fear, which is provoked by the child’s wild imagination.

Make friends with fears and monsters from dreams

Let him draw the monsters that live under his crib. Or make figures from plasticine. Play, give them names. But come up with entertainment where the monsters have positive roles.

Create a bedtime ritual

It could be a book, a lullaby or 100 kisses on the cheeks. The ritual may take a long time, but at this moment the child will receive maximum attention from you. You cannot skip the discussed method of going to bed for a single day. If the little one fell asleep in bed and came into the parent’s bedroom at night, you need to return the baby to the nursery and repeat the ritual.

Create a positive image for the night

Explain that he must sleep in a separate bed, because magic awaits him, a night fairy with a gift. In the morning, place a small surprise under your pillow.

Discuss tomorrow before going to bed

The child should fall asleep sooner so that morning comes faster. Talk about how you have a busy day tomorrow: going to the cinema, visiting, going to the playground, tasting ice cream. But in the morning, don’t give up on your plans, you need to keep your promises.

Appoint a night guard

A child's sleep near the bed can be protected by a teddy bear, soldiers, or a doll. Place the toy in the bed or next to the door. Discuss the story with your preschooler, and let him nominate his own defenders every night.

Change your child's interests in games and cartoons

You can’t just ban viewing or entertainment; you need to offer more interesting entertainment options that are safe for the psyche.

On a note! For sound sleep, the temperature in the bedroom is very important. Air heated to 18–22°C is considered comfortable. In winter, ventilate the room before going to bed, and in summer, turn on the air conditioner.

How to overcome the fear of being alone at home: advice from psychologists

A cozy atmosphere, light walls and bright light, when all corners remain illuminated, give a feeling of peace and security. Also, people who have experienced panic attacks are advised to leave the TV or radio on to create the illusion of the presence of others.

Get a pet

Some people believe that animals, such as dogs and cats, will immediately sense danger if a stranger appears in the house. They have excellent hearing and sense of smell, thanks to which they can warn the owner. In addition, the presence of “smaller brothers” will brighten up loneliness and give a feeling of security.

Use protection methods

Precautionary measures should be taken at the first feeling of discomfort. Even if the actions make little sense, but they calm you down, you need to take them. So, some people put scissors under their pillow to protect themselves from dark forces. In England, scissors under the pillow are believed to get rid of difficult dreams. People who are far from superstitious simply check that the door locks and windows are closed at night. A feeling of security can be given by installing alarms and sensor lights.

Find something fun to do

Many people, when they are left alone at home, use their free time to engage in creativity. In general, any household activity (washing, ironing, cooking) will distract you from anxious thoughts. To relieve tension and avoid a panic attack, you can turn on dynamic music. Reading books and watching movies is also a great way to relieve fear.

There are other effective methods of dealing with panic attacks, such as meditation:

Advice from pediatricians

Sleep disturbances and anxiety in the baby in the evening are easily explained by mental, emotional and physical overexcitement. Small children do not notice that they are tired, they resist going to bed, but in fact they have been in need of rest for a long time. As a result, the baby becomes capricious, demands his mother in his bed, and going to bed turns into a scandal.

To avoid conflicts and hysterics, pediatricians recommend the following:

1. Monitor bedtime and playtime in young children.
2. Spend active time 1-2 hours before bedtime.
3. Follow a daily routine on weekdays and weekends. You can discuss bedtime with school-age children.
4. If your child is hyperactive, enroll him in a sports section, but do not attend training 1 hour before bedtime.

Question from parents! Is it necessary to treat a child if he is afraid to fall asleep alone? Children need medical help if anxiety and phobias plague the child night and day for a long time. Seek advice from a psychiatrist, pediatrician or neurologist.

What is the help of parents?

If a child is afraid to sleep alone in a room, then experts in the field of child psychology recommend:

1. Choose something that symbolizes safety - you can sleep more peacefully with your favorite toy. In addition, you can whisper mysterious words to her, and she will keep them secret.
2. Staying in the next room and talking - the children feel calmer when they hear their mother’s calm voice behind the wall. Silence frightens them and gives rise to new fears. A bird cage or aquarium has the same effect, since at night they hear sounds as during the day and quickly calm down.
3. Spend more time with the child during the day - if the baby has received enough attention, affection and care during the day, then he will feel more relaxed at night. The fear of falling asleep appears due to a lack of attention, love and care.
4. Create a ritual for falling asleep - it is better to complete outdoor games an hour before bedtime. Then everything is individual, for example, drink a glass of kefir or milk, take a shower, brush your teeth, listen to a fairy tale read by your mother, hug, say good night.
5. Use a night light - children gradually get used to the dark. When a child is afraid to sleep alone, you should not turn off the light, close the door and leave him alone in the dark, just because you think the baby has grown up.
6. Pay attention to the interior of the children's room - it is best to arrange it together with the child, taking into account all his wishes. Add more bright colors and fill all the empty spaces with your favorite toys.
7. Play with night fears during the day - playing blind man's buff in a playful way will teach you not to be afraid of the dark. And a witch's wand placed under the bed will protect sleep.
8. If the baby wakes up, then it is advisable to repeat the ritual of putting him to bed - when a frightened baby comes running to you at night, then it is advisable to hug him and calm him down. Then take him to his room and wait until he falls asleep, making it clear that you are nearby and will always help him.

When a child is afraid to sleep alone, then parents need to be calm, since any nervousness is transmitted to the baby, and he suffers from this. And if mom and dad say with confidence that together they will defeat all the monsters, then the baby sincerely believes it and becomes calm.

Advice from experienced parents

The following measures will help relieve fear:

1. Stay close to your kindergarten-aged child all evening. Don't take him to grandma's or to visit him after kindergarten. It is important for the baby to feel your love and receive a sufficient portion of attention.
2. Buy a book to read in bed. Don't get these fairy tales during the day. Read 1-2 pages before bed.
3. If a child is scared by the emptiness under the bed, place a box with books and toys there.
4. Stay close until you fall asleep completely for a couple of days, then you can talk or watch TV in the next room. The main thing is that the baby feels your presence in the apartment.
5. To wean yourself from sleeping with light on, buy the dimmest nightlight. Turn it on before leaving the children's room. After the baby is fast asleep, turn it off and leave the baby in the dark.
6. Equip the children's room with comfortable furniture and come up with a bright, positive interior. The child must have a desire to spend the night in a separate room. You can create an intrigue in advance, a couple of weeks before moving into the nursery: tell the baby that a surprise awaits you, and redecorate the bedroom.
7. Leave the nursery door open all night.
8. Put the youngest child to sleep in the same room as the older ones.

A shared nursery promotes the development of friendly, trusting relationships between brothers and sisters. Older children will be more responsible and independent.

This is interesting! According to research by physiologists and psychologists, children begin to feel real fear when they develop fantasy and imagination. Boys become fearful at 3 years old, and girls at 4 years old.

Reasons that interfere with restful sleep

Why is a child afraid to sleep alone? There are many reasons that can interfere with proper sleep. Here are some of them:

1. Negative news seen or images of disasters shown on TV are deposited in him with disturbing thoughts.
2. If parents punish a child by locking him in a room without light, then he will certainly get scared and endure his fear when the door opens.
3. Scary imaginary monsters or intimidation of children, for example, by Baba Yaga, also make it difficult to fall asleep peacefully. If people close to him tell him that he might be taken away, then he has no reason not to believe it.
4. Older children can also scare the baby by telling creepy stories.
5. Negative emotions that have arisen recently can develop into fear and disrupt a child’s sleep.
6. An emotionally oversaturated day, including an excess of positive emotions, provokes restless sleep.
7. Nightmares can frighten both children and teenagers.
8. Conflicts with peers or teachers cause poor quality sleep, leaving an unpleasant mark on the day.

Thus, all imaginary fears and experienced worries can develop into constant anxiety. This condition does not allow the baby to feel serene and protected. Therefore, being left alone in the dark with your thoughts becomes a serious test for a child. He wants to quickly get rid of such bad emotions, and parents, to whom children turn for help, can help in this first of all.

Features of autophobia

Autophobia is a mental disorder in which the patient develops a fear of being alone with his thoughts. The phobia manifests itself in moments of loneliness, when, under certain circumstances, a person is left alone at home, at work, etc. Often the patient experiences a feeling of anxiety or panic even when the thought of being alone arises.

Despite the clear signs, it is very difficult for a person suffering from it to independently identify autophobia. Those susceptible to this fear try in any way to constantly “stay in touch” with relatives, friends and colleagues. By meeting in person or talking on the phone, a person avoids the appearance of thoughts that cause fear.

This phobia should not be underestimated. According to psychologists, panic attacks can become so severe that the patient may even have thoughts of suicide. Therefore, it is important to learn how to deal with a phobia alone or with the help of specialists.

How to identify your fear of being alone at home

Signs of autophobia can be of different types. Often the symptoms of fear are so subtle that they are difficult to identify even for a psychotherapist. According to statistics, autophobia is diagnosed more often in women.

But experts associate such statistics with the fact that men tend to “hide” their experiences from others. There is only one conclusion: the stronger sex faces such a phobia no less often than women.

A phobia can manifest itself in the form of physical symptoms: trembling in the body, increased temperature or increased heart rate. The appearance of such signs is not excluded, but they occur less frequently than behavioral and psychological symptoms. Autophobia can be identified by signs such as:

1. Feeling anxious about little things. Fear may appear when the patient is forced to be alone at home, or due to the distance of close people, their inaccessibility (the phone is turned off).
2. Lack of self-confidence. The patient constantly seeks help from others. Their presence next to a person is enough.
3. Attempts to “hold” a loved one during moments of separation.
4. Illogicality in actions. The patient can buy uncomfortable housing closer to his own loved ones, marry an unloved person, etc.

Based on such factors, it is difficult to identify the presence of autophobia in a person. Advice from psychologists: you need to help yourself by drawing up your own “psychological portrait.” Most often, individuals suffering from autophobia easily succumb to the influence of others and strive to attract the attention of others by any means. They are irresponsible and dependent, jealous and have difficulties in their own realization.

The feeling of anxiety in a patient can be caused by a switched off phone of a loved one